DENVER – The undefeated Broncos, putting the final touches on their game plan for Sunday’s matchup against the 28-point underdog Jacksonville Jaguars, reportedly intend to unveil a wide variety of “Harlem Globetrotters” style hijinks in order to amuse and delight the spectators at Sports Authority stadium, as well as on televisions around the nation.
“We want to make the game a real hoot for the fans” said QB Peyton Manning. “It’s all about putting on a show, having a good time, and sharing some laughs.”
“And yes,” he added with a wink, “there’ll even be some razzle-dazzle in there as well.”
Among the wacky tricks currently being planned by the Broncos are:
- A bucket of confetti that DE Shaun Phillips will throw in RB Maurice Jones-Drew’s face on an off-tackle run.
- A crazy “pigskin-on-a-string” gag in which Manning will pretend to throw a deep pass, only to have the ball snap directly back into his hands.
- Letting the Jaguars score a field goal or two before ringing up 45 unanswered points.
- Having CB Champ Bailey pull down WR Justin Blackmon’s pants just before the snap of the ball.
- Throwing one incompletion per half to gave Jacksonville’s defense false hope, then casually lobbing an 80 yard touchdown to whichever WR hasn’t scored in a while.
- Substituting an “exploding ball” into the game when the Jaguars are in shotgun formation, which will erupt in a hilarious burst of colorful streamers as QB Chad Henne receives the snap.
“It’s going to be a fun time for everyone, we promise,” smiled Broncos coach John Fox. “The stadium announcers have been instructed to play ‘Sweet Georgia Brown’ on the first play of each of our drives, so expect to see Demaryius Thomas, Wes Welker, Eric Decker, Knowshon Moreno and Julius Thomas showing off some zany dance moves as they score.
“Bring the kids, and get ready to smile for three hours straight, because a good time’s going to be had by all,” concluded Manning. “Well maybe not the gamblers who foolishly take the 28 points. But everyone else, for sure.”