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ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: Quincy Carter Retires As All Time Greatest Cowboys QB
DALLAS – After twelve seasons, nine pro bowl berths, and three NFL championships, superstar QB Quincy Carter announced his retirement from the Dallas Cowboys on Monday at an emotional press conference described by team owner Jerry Jones as, “a going away party for the greatest quarterback in Dallas Cowboys history.”
“It’s been one hell of a ride here with America’s Team,” the much beloved Carter told reporters. “It’s hard to walk away from a great team that’s coming off a Super Bowl title, but I’m happy to say that I’m going out on top.”
Carter, selected in the second round of the 2001 draft, was initially seen as a reach by analysts. After struggling with focus and character issues during his collegiate career at Georgia, many questioned whether he possessed the mental capacity and self discipline to become a capable starter at the pro level, a fear that Carter disproved on his way to an unprecedented four straight league MVP trophies.
“They said I was crazy for drafting this guy,” a smiling Jones said. “They told me he’d have substance abuse issues, that he’d never become a championship caliber QB. They even told me we’d end up cutting him after two or three years. But we sure showed them, didn’t we?”
Former Cowboys Troy Aikman and Roger Staubach both attended the ceremony, and later told reporters, “Quincy Carter is truly the greatest signal caller to ever wear the blue and silver. We only wish we’d had careers half as good as his.”
The Carter-led Cowboys have dominated the NFC East for the past decade, and his absence may now finally allow the rest of the division to become competitive for the first time in years.
“Quincy Carter’s retirement means that the Eagles and Redskins might once again become relevent,” NFL.com’s Rich Eisen said. “As for the Giants, well, they’ve been trying to make their Tony Romo experiment work for seven years now with nothing to show for it. I expect them to fade down the stretch as usual.