SEATTLE – Four months after winning Super Bowl XLVIII, the Seattle Seahawks on Thursday formally distributed to the team’s players and coaches their official championship rings, the faces of which display a diamond-studded image of Denver Broncos QB Peyton Manning frowning and crying sadly in the aftermath of his 43-8 defeat in the NFL’s title game last February.
“This thing is beautiful. A real work of art,” raved SS Kam Chancellor, while admiring the ring on his left hand. “The way all the individual diamonds link together perfectly to form that furious expression on Peyton’s face is really impressive. You sure can tell that they spared no expense to portray his sorrow and rage in such a brilliant fashion.”
The ring, designed by Tiffany & Co., features a border of forty blue sapphires, a heavyset “World Champions” engraving, and a mural of 215 miniature diamonds, each precisely cut, colored, and placed to form Manning’s seething visage, whose forehead alone consists of over a hundred highly polished gems.
“We here at Tiffany take great pride in the quality of our craftsmanship, and I can say without a doubt that our designers have truly outdone themselves on this piece,” said Victoria Reynolds, Group Director of Business Sales for the New York jewelry sales giant. “Each ring has been painstakingly constructed to reflect the majesty and triumph of the Seahawks’ championship season, while simultaneously capturing the anguish of yet another Peyton Manning playoff defeat. It’s a delicate balance to achieve, but I feel we pulled it off flawlessly.”
Added Reynolds,”Plus, when you hold it up to the light, a $50,000 polished blue garnet stone sparkles on his cheek like a fresh teardrop. It’s that sort of attention to detail that we’re quite proud of.”
According to the spokeswoman, the creation of the exquisite ring was not without its challenges.
“We really wanted to get Mr. Manning’s expression right, so we asked him to come to New York for a sitting to model for us during the ring’s design stage,” Reynolds explained. “But he must have been driving through an area with bad cellphone reception, because the only response we heard was some weird static that sounded vaguely like a combination of animalistic growling and teeth gnashing, and then the line went dead. Oh well. Maybe he’ll come in after next year’s Super Bowl when we’re designing the rings for the 49ers, Packers, or Saints.”