BUFFALO – Owners of several Buffalo-area adult toy stores that cater exclusively to local sexual foot fetishists are unable to explain the explosive 800% increase in sales their erotic shops have experienced over the past several days, according to numerous pervert sources in the area.
“Business has been booming like crazy ever since Sunday, and I’m at a complete loss to explain it,” said Herb Berringer, proprietor of The Tootsie Pop Boutique. “Some anonymous person or persons has been buying up all the foot fetish themed products in town.”
“For whatever reason, foot fetish videos and accessories are suddenly in huge demand here in Buffalo,” seconded Buddy Woodson, owner of the Heart And Sole Foot Enthusiast Superstore. “All our films are flying off the shelves. ‘The Man From A.N.K.L.E.’ ‘Socks Lies & Videotape.’ ‘Heel Magnolias.’ They’ve all been purchased during the past few days.”
Added Woodson: “I’m going to make enough cash this month to finally pay off my boat, ‘Das Bootlick.’”
According to reports, foot fetish movies are not the only product suddenly in greater demand.
“Someone’s been buying it all,” said Gabe Delgado, owner of The Toe Jamboree. “The prosthetic silicon foot-sturbators. The ‘Stinky Sandal’ flavored lollipops. Even our collection of worn, unwashed tennis socks. Hmmm. I wonder if it was that creepy guy yesterday in the red and blue sweater vest. After he paid for his matching cock-and-toe ring combo set, I heard him as he walked out mumbling about how he desperately needs a ‘quarter back.’ But I’m sure I gave him the correct change. Weird.”