NEW YORK – Roger Goodell wrapped up day three of the 2014 NFL Draft at Radio City Music Hall on Saturday by announcing that the Jacksonville Jaguars are now officially “on the clock” with the first overall pick of 2015, a spot that the talent-poor franchise is presumed likely to possess via the 2-3 victories they are expected to notch during the upcoming season.
“This concludes the 2014 draft,” announced the commissioner immediately after the Houston Texans selected Memphis FS Lonnie Ballentine with the 256th and final pick. “Jacksonville is now on the clock, which is counting down the 362 days, 19 hours, 27 minutes and 13 seconds they have until the first overall pick of round number one in 2015. At this time, the Jaguars may open preliminary negotiations with any of the prospective college players the club is considering with their top choice in next year’s draft.”
Despite the fact that holding the first choice of the draft puts the team in an advantageous position, the Jaguars curiously seemed offended by the announcement.
“What does Goodell mean we’re ’on the clock?’ First choice in next year’s draft? What the hell?” growled Jacksonville head coach Gus Bradley. “For Christ’s sake, we haven’t played a single game yet. It’s pretty presumptuous of the commissioner to tell everyone that he expects us to have the worst record in the league this season. We could shock everyone and make it into the playoffs, you know. Heck, we might win ten, twelve, or fourteen games. Maybe we’ll even earn a first round bye and… hey, quit laughing.”
“Gus Bradley’s bizarre comments are clearly just a smokescreen and not a very believable one,” said NFL analyst Ian Rapoport. “He’s not honestly expecting us to believe that Jacksonville is going to win more than 3 games this year, is he? Obviously, he already knows who he wants to select with that number one overall pick next season, and he’s simply keeping his cards close to the vest.”
While the Jaguars could choose between any of a number of outstanding prospects with the top choice next season, most experts expect the team to use the first overall pick on a new quarterback to replace Blake Bortles, their first round choice this year, who almost certainly will be an enormous bust and will likely be traded to San Francisco for a 6th round draft pick sometime next March.