PRO FOOTBALL MOCK
Subscribe
PRO FOOTBALL MOCK
PRO FOOTBALL MOCK
  • Blog

Rex Ryan Unable To Hide Erection During Post Game Press Conference After Upset Of Saints

  • October 26, 2021
  • admin
Rex Ryan Unable To Hide Erection During Post Game Press Conference After Upset Of Saints
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

NEW YORK – After upsetting the heavily favored New Orleans Saints 26-20 Sunday, a jubilant Rex Ryan was unable to hide a massive erection during his post game press conference, disgusted sources confirmed earlier today.

“Hell of a win, eh?” bellowed the clearly aroused coach, his hands placed on his hips as his pelvis jutted noticeably forward. “I’m proud of all my guys, and I tell ya, I am just SOÂ excited by the way we played today. It’s like, like this huge rush of joy and ecstasy that’s building and building inside of me. I feel so happy, I could damn near explode!”

“Oh, and hey, sorry about the podium being out for repairs this week,” added the blatantly tumescent Ryan. “But that just means you all get to feast your eyes on my full state of elation.”

The 5-4 Jets, relying on a big play defense and a stout rushing attack, shocked the 6-2 Saints and improved Ryan’s record to 5-0 against his twin brother, New Orleans defensive coordinator Rob Ryan.

“Oh man, it feels so great beating Rob again,” gushed Ryan. “And proving my doubters wrong, winning with a rookie QB, and making a big playoff push? Well, that just makes me wanna stand straight up and spit.”

“And now, get ready boys and girls. ‘Cause I’m about to show all of you what a big ol’ excited Woody looks like,” concluded Ryan, as nervous reporters shrieked and covered their eyes. The panic in the room turned to relief as Ryan brought out Jets owner Woody Johnson to deliver his own set of post-game comments, only to revert back to disgust when it became clear the 66-year old Johnson was sporting an enormous erection of his own.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
admin

Previous Article
Rob Gronkowski Fined For Wearing Illegal Beer Helmet
  • NFL

Rob Gronkowski Fined For Wearing Illegal Beer Helmet

  • October 26, 2021
  • admin
View Post
Next Article
Ben Roethlisberger Makes A New Friend
  • Blog

Hipster Cowboy Fans Claim Romo’s Latest Screwup Too Mainstream

  • October 26, 2021
  • admin
View Post
You May Also Like
View Post
  • Blog

Lovie Smith Pretends To Be Listening To Headset To Avoid Jay Cutler

  • admin
  • December 6, 2021
View Post
  • Blog

Bears Offensive Lineman Committing Too Many False Starts, Reports Girlfriend

  • admin
  • December 6, 2021
View Post
  • Blog

Puppy Adopted By Michael Vick: “Goddammit”

  • admin
  • December 6, 2021
Robert Kraft
View Post
  • Blog

Vladimir Putin: “I Vill NEVER Give Back Your Super Bowl Ring, Robert Kraft!”

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021
Jay Cutler
View Post
  • Blog

Jay Cutler Rolls Eyes, Checks Watch, Sighs Loudly During Visit To Middle School

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021
Christian Ponder Thinking Today May Not Be Best Time To Demand Raise From Vikings
View Post
  • Blog

Christian Ponder Thinking Today May Not Be Best Time To Demand Raise From Vikings

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021
Where Do Dallas Cowboy Fans Live
View Post
  • Blog

CHART: Where Do Dallas Cowboy Fans Live?

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021
Colts Honor Peyton
View Post
  • Blog

Colts Honor Peyton Manning Before Game With Free Drink That Smells Suspiciously of Roofies

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • Lovie Smith Pretends To Be Listening To Headset To Avoid Jay Cutler
  • Bears Offensive Lineman Committing Too Many False Starts, Reports Girlfriend
  • Jeff George Deserves To Be In NFL Hall Of Fame, Says Nobody
  • Puppy Adopted By Michael Vick: “Goddammit”
  • Argentina Offers Tony Romo $10 Million To Cheer For Brazil In World Cup Soccer
PRO FOOTBALL MOCK
Copyright © 2021 | All rights reserved

Input your search keywords and press Enter.