PHILADELPHIA – QB Mark Sanchez, something something something, thrust into starting job for Eagles after Nick Foles’ clavicle injury, blah blah blah, infamous “butt-fumble” play with New York Jets in 2012, yada yada outdated joke, according to sources close to the blah blah blah today.
“Well I definitely think Mark will go out there and something something something lame ‘butt’ pun,” said head coach Chip Kelly. “His study habits, something something, ‘anal approach,’ and obviously he’s capable of blah blah blah ‘backside running plays,’ so no one can ever accuse him, filler filler filler, ‘facing the rear.’”
Added Kelly: “Blah blah joke tag.”
Although Sanchez has often something something something “butt of jokes,” blah blah blah, sixth-year player, yada yada “head up his ass.”
“This is an opportunity for me something something something ‘turn the other cheek,” said Sanchez. “So I’m going to go out there, blah blah blah, ‘even the tightest crack,’ something something, ‘hit that hole as hard as I can,’ filler filler filler, ‘headbutt my teammates.’ Otherwise, something something something big finish, I might end up ‘shit-faced.’”