PRO FOOTBALL MOCK
Subscribe
PRO FOOTBALL MOCK
PRO FOOTBALL MOCK
  • Blog

Puppy Adopted By Michael Vick: “Goddammit”

  • December 6, 2021
  • admin
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

Upon learning that she was being adopted from the Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society by Eagles QB Michael Vick, Muffin, a 12 week old poodle puppy, buried her adorable little nose in her tiny paws and thought to herself, “God-DAMMIT!”

“And on top of everything else, I’m a Wedskins fan!”

“At first, I was soooo thwilled!” said the precious pooch. “When I heard that mean old guardy-man opening the gate to my tiny wittle cage, I thought to myself, ‘Hooway! Someone is finawy adopting me! Gosh, I weally hope it’s someone sweet and kind and wuvving!’ Then I saw it was Michael Vick and I thought, ‘FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!’”

Vick, who served nearly two years in prison for operating an illegal dogfighting ring, as well as personally torturing and killing several dogs himself, has given countless hours of charity work to PETA since his release, trying to repair his image. And while some fans have been able to forgive the star QB, many dog-lovers, (and virtually all dogs), still despise Vick for his crimes.

“He’s a total pwick!” said Muffin. “This sadistic piece of cwap tortured and swaughtered dozens of poor innocent doggies, AFTER forcing them to fight each other purely for sport. How is this fweaking asshole even ALLOWED to adopt a pet? And why did he haf to pick ME, of all dogs? Goddammit, I have the worst fucking wuck!”

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
admin

Previous Article
Argentina
  • Football

Argentina Offers Tony Romo $10 Million To Cheer For Brazil In World Cup Soccer

  • October 26, 2021
  • admin
View Post
Next Article
  • NFL

Jeff George Deserves To Be In NFL Hall Of Fame, Says Nobody

  • December 6, 2021
  • admin
View Post
You May Also Like
View Post
  • Blog

Lovie Smith Pretends To Be Listening To Headset To Avoid Jay Cutler

  • admin
  • December 6, 2021
View Post
  • Blog

Bears Offensive Lineman Committing Too Many False Starts, Reports Girlfriend

  • admin
  • December 6, 2021
Robert Kraft
View Post
  • Blog

Vladimir Putin: “I Vill NEVER Give Back Your Super Bowl Ring, Robert Kraft!”

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021
Jay Cutler
View Post
  • Blog

Jay Cutler Rolls Eyes, Checks Watch, Sighs Loudly During Visit To Middle School

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021
Christian Ponder Thinking Today May Not Be Best Time To Demand Raise From Vikings
View Post
  • Blog

Christian Ponder Thinking Today May Not Be Best Time To Demand Raise From Vikings

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021
Where Do Dallas Cowboy Fans Live
View Post
  • Blog

CHART: Where Do Dallas Cowboy Fans Live?

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021
Colts Honor Peyton
View Post
  • Blog

Colts Honor Peyton Manning Before Game With Free Drink That Smells Suspiciously of Roofies

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021
Doctors Fear Roethlisberger Injury Will Make Him Hang Out With Them
View Post
  • Blog

Doctors Fear Roethlisberger Injury Will Make Him Hang Out With Them

  • admin
  • October 26, 2021

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • Lovie Smith Pretends To Be Listening To Headset To Avoid Jay Cutler
  • Bears Offensive Lineman Committing Too Many False Starts, Reports Girlfriend
  • Jeff George Deserves To Be In NFL Hall Of Fame, Says Nobody
  • Puppy Adopted By Michael Vick: “Goddammit”
  • Argentina Offers Tony Romo $10 Million To Cheer For Brazil In World Cup Soccer
PRO FOOTBALL MOCK
Copyright © 2021 | All rights reserved

Input your search keywords and press Enter.