After going a pitiful 21-43 for 147 yards with two interceptions in a 43-13 blowout loss to the Houston Texans on Sunday, the Ravens Joe Flacco was given the “AFC Offensive Player of the Week” award by Flacco’s paternal Grandmother, Edna Flacco.
“I just felt so bad for poor Joey,” said the elder Flacco, 83. “He was out there trying so gosh-darn hard, and all the other boys on that Texas team were being so mean to him. So I decided to give him one of those fancy “player of the week” awards that all the young sports people seem to like so much. I was up half the night knitting it.”
Although the Ravens currently stand atop the AFC North division with a 5-2 record, the one-sided loss to the Texans was seen as a crushing defeat, and Flacco is viewed as a weak link in an otherwise potent squad. But despite his struggles, his support from his “Gram-Grams” has never wavered.
“I don’t care what any of those fancy-pants experts say,” said Edna. “My little Joey is the best little quarterback in the whole wide world, and I won’t let no one tell me otherwise. Why just last week, I heard one of those mean bullies from Pittsburgh say that they always believe they can beat my baby’s team as long as Joey is their leader. Well, I called him right away and told him, ‘Joe-Joe, if those fellows call you mean names and pick on you, then they’re not your real friends now are they?’”
The Ravens will enjoy a bye this weekend, followed by games against the Browns and Raiders, and then a crucial three game stretch against the Steelers, Chargers, and Steelers again. And while Flacco and the Ravens know they have to improve if they’re going to make a serious run at the Super Bowl, their quarterback’s biggest fan is already making her plans regardless.
“Oh, I’ve already begun work on a lovely “Super Bowl MVP” patchwork quilt that I’m going to give to Joey in February. This way, he’ll feel just as special whether he makes it to that there big game or not.”