MINNEAPOLIS, MN – According to credit card information, the online shopper who purchased the first ever #7 Christian Ponder jersey sold from the Minnesota Vikings official merchandise store was revealed be none other than Vikings QB Christian Ponder himself, it was reported late Wednesday.
If he had just waited until the Vikings cut him next year, he could’ve bought the jersey at a huge discount.
“Pretty sweet, right?” asked Ponder, after completing his purchase. “That’s an officially licensed NFL replica jersey, not one of those cheap knockoffs from Asia with the lousy stitching. Including shipping and handling, it cost me just over ninety bucks, and yeah, that’s sort of steep. But for that kind of quality, it’s totally worth it. Oh man, I can’t wait until my friends see me walking around wearing that thing.”
Employees of the Vikings team store were caught off guard when the transaction appeared on their daily report sheet.
“I was going through the day’s list of orders, and saw all the usual items,” said online purchase manager Adrianna Hodgkins. “We sold about two hundred Adrian Peterson jerseys, forty or fifty Adrian Peterson t-shirts, a couple dozen Adrian Peterson posters, and three Adrian Peterson bobbleheads. Then, right in the middle of all that, I see an order for an actual Christian Ponder jersey. I had to look twice to be sure I wasn’t seeing things.”
The manufacturer recommends washing the jersey in cold water on a medium spin cycle to remove the stench of failure.
Added Hodgkins, “I thought it must have been a typo at first. I wasn’t even aware we sold those.”
After locating and opening the dusty box at the rear of the warehouse containing the #7 jerseys, Collins packed and labeled the garment for the afternoon shipment, which should arrive to Ponder’s residence in 10-12 business days.
“It’s gonna look so cool,” enthused the QB. “I wish I could have ordered an actual game-worn jersey, but they’re like two hundred bucks, so forget that.”