Jacob Doyle, 25, of Chicago IL, whose fantasy football team, “The Pooperstars,” has already clinched a playoff spot in the “”Blitzes, Boobs and Beer” ESPN Fantasy League, has chosen to rest his starters for his week 13 matchup, sources reported early Sunday.
“At this time, I can confirm that I’ve made a coaching decision to sit Tom Brady, Doug Martin, and Brandon Marshall,” said Doyle in an email sent to his fellow league owners at Ameriprise Financial’s north Houston office. “Considering that the fantasy playoffs are just one week away and the fact that we already have our spot secured, I made the determination that there was no need to expose my guys to any unnecessary risk.”
“There are a couple of schools of thought on this,” continued Doyle. ”There are those who will say that you should always try to win every game, at all costs, and I respect that view. But for me, the risks simply outweigh the rewards. I understand that Jim’s team, ‘The Dez Dispensers,’ who desperately needs me to win so he can qualify for the playoffs, will be negatively impacted by this move. But unfortunately, I can only coach my team for my own benefit, not the benefit of others. Suck it, Jimbo.”
Asked if he was concerned about his star players getting rusty during their layoff, Doyle answered, “Well sure, that’s always a worry. But I have faith that my guys will be rested and ready to face our first round opponent, who I fully expect to be Paulie’s ‘Honky-Tonk Gronks.’
