SAN FRANCISCO – As the 49ers began their 2013 offseason training activities (OTA’s) on Monday, recently acquired WR Anquan Boldin has managed to quickly alienate many of his new teammates by constantly and obnoxiously reminding anyone who would listen that they “got their asses kicked” in the Super Bowl against Boldin’s previous team, the Baltimore Ravens.
“Hey Coach,” Boldin asked to Mark Eyeyama, the team’s head of strength and conditioning. “Should I take this Super Bowl Championship ring off my finger when I lift weights? I mean, all these diamonds make it so darn heavy, it sort of throws off my balance, you know what I mean? Well no, I guess you wouldn’t, huh?”
“That was a great pass, Kap,” Boldin later remarked to QB Colin Kaepernick after catching a 10-yard slant during 11-on-11 drills. “I don’t know if it was quite as good as any of the six passes I caught for a team leading 104 yards in the Super Bowl a few months ago. But still. Good pass.”
“The guy’s really kind of a dick,” said SS Donte Whitner, who was beaten for a 13-yard touchdown by Boldin in the first quarter of February’s title game. “He keeps cutting in front of me at the cafeteria line, then saying, ‘Oh sorry Donte. Did I just breeze right by you? Force of habit, I guess. My bad.’”
Added Whitner, “Man, what an asshole.”
After a sizzling postseason run that saw ham grab four touchdowns in four games, Boldin, 32, was traded by the Ravens to the 49ers in March in exchange for a 6th round pick.
“I really gotta give you guys props,” Boldin loudly exclaimed, apropos of nothing, during a stretching session. “It’s not every day you can acquire a Super Bowl champion like me for only a late round pick. I think I can be a real asset for this team. For example, I can help point out all of your glaring weaknesses and flaws. That’s kind of an area of expertise for me since, you know, I already beat you once in the Super Bowl and everything.”