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112 posts
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Jay Cutler Now Legally Permitted To Use Handicapped Spot He’s Already Been Parking In For Years Anyway

  • October 25, 2021
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Jay Cutler
CHICAGO – Injured QB Jay Cutler, nursing a torn groin muscle suffered in Sunday’s 45-41 loss to the Washington Redskins, will finally have a legal reason to park near Bears…
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Mockvertisement: Ben Roethlis-Burgers

  • October 25, 2021
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Ben Roethlis-Burgers
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Peyton Manning: “Victories Are Nice, But Individual Records Are The Real Reason I Play This Game.”

  • October 25, 2021
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Well, my Broncos won again. An easy 42-17 laugher over those 49ers dipshits. It’s our 3rd straight win, we now have the best record in the conference, blahbaddy-blah-blah-blah. Whatever. Look,…
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Aaron Hernandez’s Status Listed As “Day-To-Day” By Prison Gang

  • October 25, 2021
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BOSTON – Former Patriots TE Aaron Hernandez, indicted Thursday by a grand jury on first degree murder charges, had his status downgraded to “day-to-day” by Los Malos Diablos, the reigning…
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Bill Belichick Exits DeLorean In 1974

  • October 25, 2021
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Old Camera Frame
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“Steelers Suck,” Reports Table Full Of Ravens Fans At Bar

  • October 25, 2021
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“Steelers Suck,” Reports Table Full Of Ravens Fans At Bar
BALTIMORE – According to reports issued today by a table full of Ravens fans sitting in the corner of Baltimore’s Federal Hill Grill, The Pittsburgh Steelers not only “suck balls,”…
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FOX Cameraman Regrets Carpooling To Game With Joe Buck, Troy Aikman

  • October 25, 2021
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FOX Cameraman Regrets Carpooling To Game With Joe Buck, Troy Aikman
DENVER – Matthew O’Neill, an NFL on FOX cameraman, immediately regretted agreeing to carpool with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman to the Denver Broncos-Philadelphia Eagles game Sunday afternoon, sources confirmed…
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Greg Williams After Suspension: “$20 To Anyone Who Hurts That Guy”

  • October 25, 2021
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Former New Orleans Saints defensive coordinator Greg Williams, who missed the entire 2012 NFL season after being suspended for his role in the “Bountygate” scandal, began his new job with…
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Malibu Barbie Creeped Out Being On Same Shelf As Roethlisberger Doll

  • October 25, 2021
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According to sources close to the plaything, Malibu Barbie claimed that her new home on the shelf in a bedroom shared by twin siblings Connor and Hailey Allman is making…
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Packers Suspect Clay Matthews May Have Been Skipping Leg Day Workouts During Offseason

  • October 22, 2021
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Packers Suspect Clay Matthews
DE PERE, WI – Coaches and players of the Green Bay Packers, horrified by an appearance that was described as, “a powerfully pumped up torso held up by a couple…
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