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112 posts
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Jets Trade The One Player Who’s Obviously Been Holding Them Back

  • August 3, 2021
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NEW YORK – Looking to improve their fortunes after several disappointing seasons, the New York Jets successfully unloaded the player that was clearly holding them back from reaching the next…
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Jimmy Graham: “I’m Way Too Crappy As A Blocker To Be Franchised As A TE”

  • August 3, 2021
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Hey, have you guys heard about this shit? My contract with the Saints has expired, which means I’m eligible for free agency, which means that your old pal Jimmy Graham…
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Joe Flacco Awarded “AFC Offensive Player Of Week” from Grandma

  • August 3, 2021
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After going a pitiful 21-43 for 147 yards with two interceptions in a 43-13 blowout loss to the Houston Texans on Sunday, the Ravens Joe Flacco was given the “AFC…
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Panthers Sign “Play 60” Kid To Fill In For Cam Newton After Car Crash

  • August 3, 2021
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CHARLOTTE – Following the Tuesday traffic accident which left Carolina QB Cam Newton with two transverse process fractures in his lower back, the Panthers today announced the signing of “Nate,”…
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Patriots Not Sure Which Jets QB They’ll See Sunday: The One Who Can’t Throw, Or That Other One Who Can’t Throw

  • August 3, 2021
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“Do you really have to draw those pictures of me getting disemboweled by Ray Lewis? I’m standing right here, you know.” As Sunday’s AFC East showdown for first place in…
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Peyton Manning Fails To Throw 7 TDs For 2nd Week In A Row

  • August 3, 2021
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DENVER – After a sluggish performance against the Oakland Raiders on Monday night in which he threw for a disappointing 374 yards and 3 touchdowns, Broncos QB Peyton Manning has…
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Peyton Manning Gives Offensive Linemen Papa Johns Coupons As Christmas Gifts

  • August 3, 2021
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Denver QB Peyton Manning, on track for one of his finest statistical seasons and a possible Comeback Player of the Year award, presented each of his offensive lineman with a…
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COMING TO THEATERS THIS HALLOWEEN: PEYTON MANNING IS “FRANKENHEAD”

  • August 3, 2021
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Sales At Buffalo Area Foot Fetish Stores Up 800% This Week For Some Reason

  • August 3, 2021
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BUFFALO – Owners of several Buffalo-area adult toy stores that cater exclusively to local sexual foot fetishists are unable to explain the explosive 800% increase in sales their erotic shops…
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San Francisco 49ers: “Ray McDonald Has No Place On Our Roster Once We’ve Been Eliminated From The Playoffs”

  • August 3, 2021
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SAN FRANCISCO – Just hours after news broke that Ray McDonald, already accused of domestic battery earlier this season, was now under investigation from Bay Area Police for new sexual…
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