LOS ANGELES – In a shocking turn of events, former Detroit Lions WR Titus Young has apparently not yet been arrested for any sort of felony, misdemeanor, or other infraction thus far today, local authorities confirmed.
“I’ve double checked both the national and southern California arrest databases, and oddly enough, the name ‘Titus Young’ doesn’t seem to be on there anywhere,” said L.A.P.D Sargent Kevin Morgan. “There was a Tyson Young that was detained briefly in Long Beach for outstanding traffic tickets, but he’s a 52-year old caucasian. There’s no mention of a Titus Young anywhere. It’s very strange. I suppose it’s possible that he’s been arrested somewhere under an assumed name. That’s the only logical explanation I can think of.”
Young, 23, was arrested by California police for three separate infractions last week, and has a long history of legal troubles dating back to his days at Boise State University. His anti-social tendencies as well as his frequent clashes with the Detroit coaching staff led to his release from the Lions earlier this year.
According to Young’s agent, the troubled receiver has turned over a new leaf and is ready to return to the NFL.
“Titus has stayed out of trouble for literally dozens of hours now,” said KMG Sports Management’s Robert Kensington. “He’s been 100% focused on his training and film studies since at least breakfast on Sunday, and we’re hopeful to get onto another roster very soon. I have every confidence that he’s going to keep his nose clean and not get into more…” at which point the agent received a text on his cellphone which he quickly grabbed, checked, and exhaled a long, relieved sigh before continuing, “It’s just the wife. She needs me to pick up stamps. Today’s streak still stands.”