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Rex Ryan Unable To Hide Erection During Post Game Press Conference After Upset Of Saints

NEW YORK – After upsetting the heavily favored New Orleans Saints 26-20 Sunday, a jubilant Rex Ryan was unable to hide a massive erection during his post game press conference,…

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Rob Gronkowski Fined For Wearing Illegal Beer Helmet

FOXBOROUGH, MA – Roger Goodell levied a $20,000 fine today against Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski for wearing a custom-made beer can helmet that the NFL commissioner described as a “clear…

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Eli Manning Forced To Eat Thanksgiving Dinner At Kids Table Again

NEW ORLEANS – Despite being a full 33 years old, Giants QB Eli Manning, was once again forced to sit at the “kids’ table” while attending Thanksgiving dinner with his…

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Troubled Prospect Hires Cop To Chase Him During 40 At NFL Combine

Former Georgia linebacker, Alec Ogletree, whose collegiate career was tarnished by multiple arrests and suspensions, set an NFL Combine 40 yard dash record of 4.21 by hiring a police officer…

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Football

NFL ”Play 60” Event Ends Badly As Group Of 10-Year Olds Beat Giants 28-6

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ – A promotional event for the National Football League’s “Play 60″ foundation ended with an unexpected twist on Tuesday when a group of 10-year old boys and…

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Battle Of The Boards: SAINTS-BENGALS

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REPORT: Mark Sanchez Something Something “Butt-Fumble” Something Something Easy Joke

PHILADELPHIA – QB Mark Sanchez, something something something, thrust into starting job for Eagles after Nick Foles’ clavicle injury, blah blah blah, infamous “butt-fumble” play with New York Jets in…

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Football

Viking Hire Internet Commenter “URTEAMSUX658” As New Head Coach

MINNEAPOLIS, MN – After a disappointing 5-10-1 season, Minnesota Vikings owner Zygi Wilf fired head coach Leslie Frazier yesterday and immediately announced his replacement: “URTEAMSUX658,” a frequent and belligerent commenter…

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Raiders “2013 Highlights Video” To Be Marketed Exclusively To Broncos, Chargers, Chiefs Fans

As part of a bold new sales strategy that industry analysts are calling “a perfect example of knowing your audience,” the Oakland Raiders “2013 Season Highlights” DVD box set will…

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Architect Suddenly Remembers He Forgot To Put Bathrooms In New 49ers Stadium

SANTA CLARA, CA – As the San Francisco 49ers prepare to play the Denver Broncos Sunday in the first ever game to be played at Levi’s Stadium, the team’s long-awaited…

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