Woman Shopping On eBay Realizes She Just Accidentally Purchased Buffalo Bills

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Updated: August 12, 2014

ITHACA, NY – Moments after clicking the “make payment” button to transfer via PayPal a sum of $41.50 to Buffalo Bills, Inc., local internet shopper Adrienne Scovil, 33, came to the sudden realization that she just accidentally purchased the National Football League’s fifty-four year old Buffalo Bills franchise, sources close to the surprised consumer confirmed early today.

WOMAN ACCIDENTALLY BUYS BUFFALO BILLS

Most NFL financial experts agreed that Scovill overpaid for the Bills, “by at least two bucks.”

“I’m still not exactly sure how it happened,” Scovil told reporters. “All I wanted was a Bills sweatshirt as a birthday gift for my nephew. So I did an eBay search for ‘Buffalo Bills’ and found a listing with a current bid price of $39.95, which was right around what I wanted to spend. There were a couple of other people bidding, and time was running out, so I submitted my bid of $41.50, and about ten seconds later, a little popup appeared on my screen saying, ‘Congratulations! You are the new owner of the Buffalo Bills. Please allow 4 to 6 business days for your deed to arrive in the mail, and enjoy your new NFL franchise!’”

 

Scovill, who unwittingly outbid other interested eBay users “HairHeadTrump” and “Shot_Thru_Da_Hart_B_Jovi” for the purchase of the Bills, claimed to know very little about the AFC East team.

 

“I’m not much of a football fan,” claimed the new NFL owner. “A few minutes after I won the auction, a got an email from some guy named… I want to say Bill Bellenchip? Anyway, he insisted that he wanted to re-trade me the ‘rights’ to someone who I think was named ‘Drew Breadshow’ for another ‘first round draft pick.’ I don’t know what any of those words mean.”

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28 Comments

  1. Penis Who Whispers "Guy"

    August 19, 2014 at 6:26 am

    *Whispers* “Guy”

  2. Girl who whispers "vagina"

    August 14, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    *whispers* vagina

  3. What?

    August 14, 2014 at 12:12 am

    These comments are REAL!

  4. Guy Who Whispers "Penis"

    August 13, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    *whispers* penis

  5. Comment Criminal

    August 13, 2014 at 10:54 am

    Fuck the Comment Police. I bust an ALL CAPS on yo ass.

  6. Chuck Norris

    August 13, 2014 at 2:00 am

    I cant even get that team back in shape.

  7. Comment Police

    August 13, 2014 at 1:59 am

    These comments are just too out of hand. It’s freaking chaos in here! More to the point, the previous owner had to have gone AWOL from the team to sell so cheap. Team only worth $40 at best.

  8. Confused Guy

    August 13, 2014 at 1:55 am

    WTF IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!

  9. Jabba the Hut

    August 13, 2014 at 12:17 am

    Flooka flaki fucki watta foota shatta watti camma wamma

  10. Anonymous

    August 12, 2014 at 10:28 pm

    2nd copycat speaks the truth!

  11. Guy who leaves you hanging

    August 12, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    I think it’s time I say what I have to say. To be honest I believe that…………….

  12. Drew Brees

    August 12, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    Not a real word Ben. Just call it irony.

  13. Ben Roethlisberger

    August 12, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    ITS FUNNY BECAUSE THE 2ND COPYCAT DIDNT CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING ORIGINAL TO THE COMMENTS EITHER YOU SEE. THATS COMMENT-IRONY.

  14. Anonymous

    August 12, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    Damn there’s so much hate in the comments nowadays…

  15. Copycat

    August 12, 2014 at 7:27 pm

    Hi I’m copycat. I am unoriginal and can’t find anything to say to contribute to the coments. So I copy people’s comments. In real life I am another fucking loser just like the guy who whispers “something”. I am a fat ugly fuck that still lives in my mom’s basement. Even though I am 35.

  16. Copycat

    August 12, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    “whispers” Shut the Fuck Up

  17. Guy Who Whispers "Shut the Fuck Up"

    August 12, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    “whispers” Shut the Fuck Up

  18. Guy Who Whispers "Toronto"

    August 12, 2014 at 3:45 pm

    *whispers* Toronto

  19. Brian Henderson

    August 12, 2014 at 3:44 pm

    What’s their Refund Policy?

  20. Guy Who Whispers Cheese Nips

    August 12, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    *Whispers* Cheese Nips

  21. Donald Sterling

    August 12, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    Don’t worry I’m use to owning a bad team. After all the Clippers have sucked for many years!

  22. Donald Sterling

    August 12, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    Hey Adrienne I’ll buy the right to the bills off you. I will give you double and triple what you paid for. I was forced to sell the Clippers but I would love to own another team.

  23. Zoidberg

    August 12, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    Your article’s bad and you should feel bad!

  24. Peyton Manning

    August 12, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    41-49……. wasn’t that the score of….. no, it wasn’t…. *goes into PTSD rage anyway*

  25. Anonymous

    August 12, 2014 at 8:25 am

    I say, that is very funny hilarious!

  26. Ben Roethlisberger

    August 12, 2014 at 7:27 am

    BECAUSE THE BILLS ARE ONLY WORTH $41.49, YOU SEE.

  27. Kenny Von Trollington

    August 12, 2014 at 6:49 am

    You can tell its just a joke article, because no real person attempts to buy Bills attire willingly.

  28. Bills Front Office

    August 12, 2014 at 2:41 am

    Don’t worry we don’t know what “first round draft pick” means either

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