Rob Gronkowski Tranquilized Before He Can Wander Too Close To Cheerleaders

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Updated: July 30, 2012

Rob Gronkowki, Party Animal

Also, you should never look a Gronkowski directly in the eyes, as he will take that as legal sexual consent.

Using two doses of concentrated bear tranquilizer, Boston Wildlife officials managed to sedate and contain New England TE Rob Gronkowski as he wandered away from his practicing teammates at Patriots training camp, and ventured dangerously close to several members of the team’s cheerleading squad.

 

As they had been briefed in numerous safety lectures, the cheerleaders waved their arms in wide swooping circles in order to appear as big as possible, and began calling out “no bro, no bro!” to ward off the approaching 2011 Pro Bowler.

 

Patriots officials said that Gronkowski has been resting comfortably since the sedation, and will need to resume practicing with the offense as soon as possible, if he’s going to make it to the Baja Club in time for “Four Dollar Tequila Shot Tuesday.”

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