Tim Tebow Finally Realizes That He’s Actually Right-Handed
"Wow, this is WAY easier," says QB after throwing 6 TDs in practice
FOXBOROUGH, MA – Backup Patriots QB Tim Tebow was shocked today to discover that, contrary to what he’d believed for the first 26 years of his life, he is actually a right-handed passer, and immediately dazzled his coaches and teammates by going 26-28 for 379 yards and 6 TDs in practice after switching to his correctly dominant hand.
“Wow, this is WAY easier” said Tebow, after completing his final pass of the morning scrimmage, a perfectly thrown 30-yard dart that he zipped easily through triple coverage and into WR Danny Amendola’s hands. “I should’ve been doing this all along!”
“Well, that’s it for me. I’m expecting Tim to pass me on the depth chart within the next day or two,” admitted starter-for-now Tom Brady. “I mean, the guy was unstoppable out there. It didn’t matter if he was passing short, medium, long, inside, outside, whatever. Once he switched to that right hand, everything he threw was rocket fast, and laser accurate.”
Added Brady: “I’ve had a nice run with the Pats, but I think it’s safe to say the Tim Tebow era has officially begun.”
Tebow, meanwhile, was excited about the new range of possibilities open to him thanks to his self-discovery.
“For years now, I’ve been jealous of other QBs like Aaron Rodgers and Drew Brees, who make throwing a football look so easy. To me, it always felt like a really clumsy, awkward motion,” said the chipper QB. “But heck, now that I’m using Mr. Right Hand here, that ball just zips right out of there, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Gosh, I can’t wait for the season to start. Look out, single-season passing records!”