Ryan Tannehill Put On “Physically Unable to Perform” List By Wife

Updated: August 29, 2013

POMPANO BEACH, FL – Following yet another disappointing effort in a close contact set of drills, Lauren Tannehill, wife of Miami Dolphins QB Ryan Tannehill, has moved the second year QB to the Physically Unable to Perform list, sources close to the couple confirmed.



“At this point, Ryan’s simply not capable of finishing a full session,” the blonde hair, green-eyed Tannehill told reporters, as her husband looked on sheepishly. “His stamina’s not where it needs to be, and he’s thus far been unable to mount any kind of penetration. I don’t think it’s a conditioning issue so much as a general lack of confidence in his motion.”


“I explained to Ryan that it’s okay, and that this sort of thing happens to lots of quarterbacks. We’ll try again in six weeks to see if he’s physically able to rise to the challenge at that time.”


When asked if she had spoken with any of the Dolphins’ medical or training staff concerning the issue, the 25 year old spouse admitted that she had not.


“No, but I have discussed the matter thoroughly with all my girlfriends,” Ms. Tannehill replied, as her husband blushed deeply before burying his head in his hands. “They all found the situation fascinating, and oddly humorous. But they did offer a number of solutions to the problem, mostly involving potential free agents who have expressed interest in sliding into the position.”

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  1. Peyton Manning

    May 17, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    I like cocks.

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