Russia Regrets Putting Tony Romo In Charge Of Olympics Opening Ceremony Ring Display
SOCHI, RUSSIA – In the wake of an embarrassing mishap seen around the world on Friday during the opening ceremony to the Sochi Winter Games, a top official of the program told reporters Sunday that his organization “deeply regrets” putting Cowboys QB Tony Romo in charge of the botched operation.
“In retrospect, da, eet was beeg meestake letting Tony Romo of the Cowboys of Dallas operate ring portion of glorious Olympic ceremony,” said Konstantin Ernst, Russian producer of the lavish spectacle. “Eet was supposed to be byootiful display of five magnificent snowflakes opening up to reveal perfectly formed Olympic rings. And da, first four rings opened perfectly, no problem at all. But then, in crunch time, fifth ring failed to open! I coodn’t believe my Russian blue eyes! I sat in control room screaming at monitor, ‘Why Tony Romo? Why you fail at last moment like dis?’”
Continued Ernst: “Perhaps vee should have done more thorough background check on this Tony Romo person. Tell me, does he by chance have any history of critical meltdowns of which vee should have been aware?”
Romo apologized for his gaffe later.
“I take full responsibility for the technical error during the Sochi opening ceremony,” a somber Romo said. “In between opening the 4th and 5th ring, I thought I had time to take a quick drink. That was poor clock management on my part, I suppose. Anyway, I took a sip of vodka, and immediately began to choke. As a result I fumbled the electronic key that would have opened the fifth ring. Instead of twisting it to the left I sort of, well, turned it over.”
Added Romo: “My bad.”