Roger Goodell’s Wife: “You’re Not Going To Just Watch Football All Day Again, Are You?”
"It's a beautiful Sunday. Let's spend it in the park," says frustrated spouse.
BRONXVILLE, NY – Jane Skinner, wife of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, glared at her husband this morning as he plopped down on the sofa in front of the family television at approximately 12:30pm, and asked him angrily, “For God’s sake Roger, you’re not going to spend another Sunday just sitting around watching football all day, are you?”
“We’ve been over this and over this sweetheart. It’s my JOB,” sighed Goodell, as he settled in to watch the Cowboys-Lions game on Direct TV.
“But it’s such a beautiful day outside. Can’t you skip the football nonsense for one week?” replied the frustrated spouse. “Let’s have a picnic in the park. Or go see a movie. At the very least, you could clean those rain gutters you’ve been putting off forever.”
“I swear, it’s like you’re addicted to that stupid sport,” added Skinner.
Goodell, the league commissioner since 2006, has reportedly quarreled with Skinner on multiple occasions over his habit of watching NFL games each Sunday, and sources claim the friction between the couple has increased steadily over the years.
“It’s absolutely ridiculous,” said Skinner, facing Goodell with crossed arms as he tried to look around her to see the screen. “You put in a full 9-5 workday Monday through Friday, but they still expect you to waste your entire Sunday watching these silly games? And I’ll bet you’re not even getting paid overtime for this, are you?”
As of press time, Goodell continued to watch the slate of NFL games in his living room while his wife informed him she was simply going, “Out. And I don’t know when I’ll be back either. But I hope these stupid games of yours have lots of touchdowns and layups, or whatever, because buster, that’s the only scoring you’re going to get for a long, looooong time.”