After Adrian Peterson Arrest, Roger Goodell Suspends Entire Houston Police Department For Eight Weeks

Updated: July 16, 2012

Claiming the recent arrest of Viking RB Adrian Peterson was “unauthorized and inexcusable,” NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell today suspended the entire Greater Metropolitan Houston Police Force for eight weeks without pay.


Citing, “conduct detrimental to the NFL,” Goodell ruled that the Houston officers who took Peterson into custody, as well as nearly two thousand other patrolmen and women, would not receive the Commissioner’s permission to resume official police duties for at least two months, “or until such time as I am satisified that behavior such as this will not be repeated.”


Despite protests from angry officers as well as Houston citizens fearful of a lawless city, the 8 page ruling declared that the charging of Peterson with public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest created a uncomfortable public relations nightmare for the league, and was in clear violation of the NFL’s recent, “If They Stray, Just Look Away,” memoradum distributed to major law enforcement agencies around the country.  


While Houston Police officials professed ignorance of the league’s directive, and even expressed doubts as to the jurisdiction claimed by the NFL, Goodell maintained that preserving professional football’s immense popularity superseded all local and federal laws.


“The issue here is not (Peterson’s) guilt or innocence,” Goodell commented to reporters.  “We concede that he committed the infractions of which he has been accused. But with the Bountygate scandal still raging, numerous players facing DUI charges, and one mother of a class action concussion lawsuit looming over our heads, the league simply cannot withstand any new image problems.  If the officers in Houston had simply thought to ask my permission before slapping the cuffs on one of our biggest stars, they might still have a job today.  They have no one to blame but themselves.”

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