Report: Tony Romo’s Official Website Always Seems To Crash At Worst Possible Times

Updated: August 22, 2014

CYBERSPACE – The official website for Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo,, has been chronically shutting down and crashing on its web visitors on a maddeningly consistent basis, and according to numerous reports, always seems to struggle and fail at the most inopportune moment possible.



“I went to the ‘gallery’ section of Tony Romo’s website, to see some photos of him in game action,” said web-surfing Cowboys fan Jillian Lorrigan of Beaumont, TX. “So I clicked on a large photo, and I get this status bar: ‘10% downloaded, 20% downloaded, and on and on, little by little, as the picture slowly starts to come into view, then with just 5% left, the stupid site crashes my browser.”


“I tried again, with a bunch of other pictures, and every time, same result: performs great right up until the very last minute, then it screws up royally somehow. I mean, I can understand an occasional error. Even the best official NFL quarterback websites mess up sometime. But Romo’s site seems to melt down it in every single pressure situation!”


Most observers agree that the site operates extremely well about 90-95% of the time, and is even seen as one of the most efficient and impressive of all the official websites owned by various NFL starting quarterbacks. However, it has also become apparent that when the site does happen to glitch, crash, or otherwise malfunction, it always seems to be at the worst possible moment.


“I was trying to buy an official Tony Romo jersey,” lamented Sonny Craggs of Boise, ID. “So I go through the whole process: I pick my size, XL, and choose the “road-blue” color option. Then I enter my name, shipping address, email address, phone number, credit card info and so on. Shipping speed? UPS Ground. Gift wrapping? Nope. So finally, FINALLY, I hit the ‘submit order’ button, and goddammit, the stupid site send me to an error page that reads, ‘Whoops – looks like is temporarily unavailable – please try your request later.’ And I’m like, ‘Son of a BITCH! Did it really have to crap out like that right at the moment of truth?’”

Leave a Reply


  1. Guy who doesnt whisper "privates"

    August 27, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    *doesnt whisper* privates

  2. Guy who whispers "ifhss and Name have no penis"

    August 24, 2014 at 11:34 pm

    *whispers* ifhss and Name have no penis

  3. Brickfinger

    August 24, 2014 at 4:23 am

    The links in the article are wonderfully random.

    Or are they?

  4. Ben Roethlisberger

    August 22, 2014 at 9:46 pm


  5. The Real "Name"

    August 22, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    But I choose not too unless I’m whispering “penis”. Maybe I should shut up for the night but since I’m a little bitch I’ll just keep commenting and feeding the imaginary trolls I created. I may use this name or a different one. Doesn’t matter.

  6. The Real "Name"

    August 22, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    You do know that I can just start calling myself something else and not use the name “name”?

  7. Name

    August 22, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    ^And there you have it. That’s my confession.

  8. Guy who whispers penis/Girl who whispers vagina/Guy who says moist/Haiku/Poop/Name Impersonator

    August 22, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    Hi, I’m the douchebag who is posting all of the troll comments. I posted the comment right above this because I am really pissed off at someone called “Name” who is actually just trying to set things right on this website and I am really pissed off that he knows how i do my unfunny trolling. Almost everyone on this website agrees with “Name” that I need to stop trolling because I am a loser and I have no life. I need to get off this website because I am the one who ruined the comment convos they used to be funny before I started trolling on them. I should kill myself.

  9. Name

    August 22, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    People call Tony Romo a failure but they should see my life. I should kill myself and the world would lose one douchebag of a troll but it would just remind my mother about the death of Robin Williams and it would break her heart all over again. I don’t want to make her cry even though she’s trying to kick me out of the basement again.

  10. Travis

    August 22, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    it’s funny, but maybe a little too mean

  11. Ken

    August 22, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    I bet it closes down altogether in January.

    • CKO91

      September 9, 2015 at 12:36 pm

      Not that much different from Romo himself, then.

  12. Haiku

    August 22, 2014 at 11:41 am

    always comes up short
    story of romo’s career
    a porn star’s nightmare

  13. Guy Who Doesn't Get PFM

    August 22, 2014 at 7:29 am

    This website doesn’t exist. You really shouldn’t post articles about websites that don’t exist whether they work or not.

  14. Not Liam

    August 22, 2014 at 1:20 am

    Good luck trying to access it in December

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