Referees At Patriots-Falcons Game Clearly Watching Series Finale Of “Breaking Bad” Under Replay Hood

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Updated: September 29, 2013
"Boy, Sundays are really going to feel empty from now on, huh?" remarked one official.


“Boy, Sundays are really going to feel empty from now on, huh?” remarked one official.

ATLANTA – After an inordinate amount of instant replay reviews during the first half of Sunday night’s Falcons-Patriots game, many observers have begun to openly speculate that head referee Walt Coleman and the rest of his officiating crew are using any excuse they can think of to sneak under the replay hood for 5-10 minutes at a time in order to watch the series finale of AMC’s Emmy Award-winning drama, “Breaking Bad.”

 

“It seems like they were going under that hood to check something after every single play,” complained Patriots WR Julian Edelman. ‘We’d execute a simple off-tackle run for two yards, and they’d blow their whistles and announce, ‘The previous play must be reviewed.’ Then they’d all run to look at the replay monitors for another five or six minutes. And when they’d come back, I could hear them gasping ‘Oh my god,’ and ‘I never saw that coming,’ and ‘Holy crap, Heisenberg is a badass.’

"If they had just shown this on the Jumbotron like I suggested, we wouldn't have to resort to this," complained Coleman.


“If they had just shown this on the Jumbotron like I suggested, we wouldn’t have to resort to this,” complained Coleman.

 

“After one 8 minute delay while they ‘reviewed’ a short screen pass, I asked Coleman, ‘So? What’s the verdict?” recalled Falcons coach Mike Smith. “And he looked confused and said, ‘Huh? Verdict of what?’  I’m like, ‘Of the four-yard catch that you just reviewed for almost ten minutes?’ And he just says, ‘Oh right. The call on the field stands, I guess. Whatever.'”

 

“Then Coleman walked away from me and started typing furiously on his phone,” added Smith. “I swear he was on a Breaking Bad message board.”

 

While none of the officiating crew would confirm or deny the allegations, careful observers were able to catch subtle clues as to the group’s actions.

 

“Using our sophisticated, state-of-the-art replay technology, we have determined that the receiver’s toe was two inches out of bounds when he caught the ball,” Coleman announced to the crowd after yet another lengthy review, before pumping his fist and adding, “Science, bitch!”

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3 Comments

  1. Mary

    September 30, 2013 at 7:00 am

    point is the refs were obviously biased towards Atlanta something fierce last night and though I am not a fan of either team, that was so wrong. Fire the bums.

  2. Seth

    September 30, 2013 at 1:15 am

    Refs were so bad in every game I saw today, but then I remembered a time known as the “The Replacement Era”, when a touch-back is a safety, and an interception is a touchdown, and I felt grateful once again that we have these refs instead of those schmucks from the first 3 weeks last year

  3. Dawn McLelland Jones

    September 29, 2013 at 11:47 pm

    That explains so much!!

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