“Please Tell Me More About Your Fantasy Football Team,” Says No One Ever

Updated: August 26, 2013

NO TOWN, ANYWHERE – “Wow, you have a fantasy football team? I would love to hear all about it!” said No One Ever, at any time in recorded history, according to reliable sources.


“Really? You had the seventh pick of your draft? And you were hoping that Marshawn Lynch would fall to you, but because he was picked fifth, you had to choose Jamaal Charles instead? That is so fascinating! Please, do go on!” added No One, eagerly.

"Your decision to draft Reggie Wayne instead of Demaryius Thomas was a shrewd move indeed," added No One.

“Your decision to draft Reggie Wayne instead of Demaryius Thomas was a shrewd move indeed,” added No One.


“I see, I see. You were hoping to get another premier RB, but since they were all gone by then you ‘settled’ for Aaron Rodgers?” No One continued. “This is fantastic! There is nothing I love more than hearing all the nuances of these pretend football games. Please good sir, tell me more! I want to know what was going through your mind with every single selection you made. My only request is that you leave absolutely no detail out!”


“For example, you haven’t yet described to me your thought process concerning your WR position. I insist you explain that strategy to me immediately” demanded No One. “Ahh. So you felt that there was enough WR depth that you could load up on RBs early, and stockpile your receivers in the middle rounds? How incredibly cunning!”


“What’s that? This is only one of your fantasy leagues? You’re actually in two more?” concluded No One with shock and excitement. “I can’t believe you didn’t mention this earlier! Now you sit right back down because I want you to tell me about each and every player of your other leagues, this very instant”

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One Comment

  1. Dyer

    September 1, 2013 at 11:32 am

    Did I write this article and submit it in my sleep?!!

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