Peyton Manning Up All Night Studying Film For Annual Manning Family Labor Day Touch Football Game

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Updated: August 30, 2014

NEW ORLEANS – Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning, while visiting his family to celebrate the extended Labor Day weekend, stayed up all night Friday studying game film and devising strategies in preparation for the annual Manning family touch football game scheduled for sometime Sunday afternoon in his parents’ backyard, sources close to the thirteen-time pro bowler confirmed this morning.

Peyton Manning Studies Film For Labor Day Game

 

“See, my Mom’s got this little hitch in her backpedal, right there, you see?” Manning said, pointing to slow-motion film of his mother Olivia, taken during the 2013 game. “That’s because she has a degenerative hip on her left side, and we should be able to exploit that with some quick slant patterns to (Manning cousin) Taryn. Then, once Mom starts cheating up on those slants, boom, I audible Taryn into a skinny post route, and we score an easy six points.”

 

Manning, long known for his fanatical study and preparation methods, proudly displayed the one hundred page notebook he’d filled with observations during the all-night study session.

 

“I’ve reviewed game film from each of the past 6 years, and based on that, I’ve compiled dozens of strategies on how my Dad, Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, Cooper, and all my nieces and nephews play. I have Excel spread sheets to cross reference each of their third down tendencies with their known injury history and vulnerable physical limitations. No matter how obscure it may be, if they have a weakness, I’ll find it and exploit it.”

 

Asked if he had devised a strategy for his brother Eli, Manning said, “Just one. I wrote it on this post-it note. ‘For Eli – simply’sit back and wait for the interceptions.'”

 

While Manning expects to cruise to victory in the game, scheduled for sometime between the hot dogs and apple pie on Monday afternoon, other members of his family expressed their own confidences.

 

“Yes, I heard Peyton was up all night watching film,” said Manning’s 72-year old Aunt Pamela, who will be defending his passes as starting free safety in the game. “Trust me, I’m not worried. I stayed up late the other night myself, watching film of the Seahawks defense in the Super Bowl. I think I’ll do just fine.”

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22 Comments

  1. Manny Ramirez

    September 5, 2014 at 10:38 am

    Well, I wasn’t the one who snapped it over his head in the Manning Bowl *snaps ball over Peyton’s head* DAMMIT

  2. A movie buff

    September 2, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    Damnit Guy Who Spoils Movies! I was gonna watch whatever movie you’re talking about and I don’t even know who those actors are!

  3. Ben Roethlisberger

    September 2, 2014 at 11:42 am

    IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE THAT’S HOW THE BEST QUARTERBACK IN GAME WORKS!

  4. Guy Who Spoils Movies

    September 2, 2014 at 11:29 am

    Marky Mark kills Matt Damon in his apartment.

  5. Cousin Xavier Manning

    September 1, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Aunt Pamela won the MVP this year, with 5 INTs and returning 4 for TDs. Peyton had the opening snap sail over his head, Eli threw 7 INTs and Cooper Manning just sucked as usual.

  6. Eli Manning

    August 31, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    DAAAD! Make him stop!

  7. Peyton Manning

    August 31, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    The best part was that Eli still threw about 8 interceptions.

  8. Cereal Killer

    August 31, 2014 at 5:55 pm

    I hate trolls.

  9. Drew Brees

    August 31, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    …and Tony Romo… I mean… WERE STILL *FRIENDS* RIGHT??? *cough*

  10. Tom Brady

    August 31, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    Get out of here Gabbert, these comments are for starting and/or elite quarterbacks….and Joe Flacco

  11. Blaine Gabbert

    August 31, 2014 at 10:19 am

    Mr. Manning,
    I know the ‘Manning Passing Academy’ is supposed to be reserved for developmental QBs in college, but I seem to keep getting invitations in the mail to attend. I think you clerical error somewhere. I’m an NFL QB. I can’t attend the passing academy with a bunch of kids…Can I?

  12. Russell Wilson

    August 31, 2014 at 1:51 am

    I believe I know your weakness

  13. Sam Bradford

    August 30, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    G-rated porn at that. Pretty weak for a troll.

  14. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    August 30, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    That was the funniest ending of any PFM article/post.

  15. AnonyMOOSE

    August 30, 2014 at 5:37 pm

    Don’t click his name.^^^^^^ Its a link to a porn site and a virus.

  16. Billina Belick-Manning

    August 30, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    Hi Peyton. I just joined the family and will be on your team. Please give me a copy of your notes and playbook for the game. Also make sure to face the middle of the tree in the backyard as I have the camer–er because otherwise the sun will get in your eyes.

  17. Person

    August 30, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    ooh the aunt gonna get a int for 6 so in big games he throws picks against malcom smith tracyporter and his aunt

  18. PFM Reader

    August 30, 2014 at 6:41 am

    To the Ben Roethlisberger impersonator: You did everything right, but that is not something the PFM version of him would say.

  19. Girl who whispers "vagina"

    August 30, 2014 at 5:59 am

    *whispers* vagina

  20. Ben Roethlisberger

    August 30, 2014 at 5:12 am

    BECAUSE PEYTON SUCKS COCK, YOU SEE

  21. Brickfinger

    August 30, 2014 at 2:01 am

    This is a Manning story, not a troll story.

    Cept Eli maybe

  22. The Comment Trolls Should Kill Themselves Now

    August 30, 2014 at 1:45 am

    Ooh its so fun to troll on this website because you can change your name whenever you want to and nobody knows who you are hahha because we have no lives. lol

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