NFL Replacement Refs Go On Strike, Will Be Replaced By Replacement-Replacement Refs
With the 2012 NFL season just days away, and no end to the referee lockout in sight, the replacement officials who were hired to replace the striking officials have themselves suddenly gone on strike, and will be replaced by replacement-replacement officials, a league representative announced Sunday.
“The replacement referees have walked away from the negotiating table, and the NFL has no choice but to begin the season with replacement-replacement refs. We have every confidence that these replacement-replacement refs will perform their duties with the same level of quality and professionalism our replacement refs did.”
“Each of our new replacement-replacement refs have been thoroughly vetted,” continued the source. “One has officiated his nephew’s Pop Warner league for nearly two seasons now. Another once reffed a game of intramural two-hand touch at a local community college. And nearly all of them have watched Jerry Seinfeld’s, ‘The Marriage Ref,’ at some point. So we feel good about them as a group.”
A spokesperson for the Replacement Referees union decried the move, saying, “These replacement-replacement refs are nothing but a bunch of scabs taking jobs away from the hard working replacement referees who have served the NFL proudly for going on four weeks now. The NFL is putting player safety at risk by entrusting the integrity of the game to a bunch of clearly unqualified replacement-replacement refs like these.”
(In a late breaking development to this story, new rumors have surfaced claiming that a large percentage of the replacement-replacement refs are dissatisfied with their current level of compensation from the NFL. If a new deal cannot be struck quickly, the league will have no choice but to replace the replacement-replacement refs with the best quality replacement-replacement-replacment refs they can scrounge up by Wednesday at 8:30-ish.