NFL Hoping American Passion For Hating Patriots Catches On In London
As the New England Patriots prepare to take on the St. Louis Rams in the annual “American Bowl,” the NFL is hoping that London sports fans will embrace the American passion of hating all things connected to the Pats, it was reported Friday.
“Hatred for the Patriots is at an all-time high here in our nation,” said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. “Around America, fans come together each Sunday and are united in their mutual dislike of all things related to the New England team. We’re hoping to export some of that anger to Europe in the hopes that this proud American tradition will catch on ‘across the pond,’ as they say.”
“There’s just so much about the Pats to dislike,” said league spokesman Greg Aiello. “Whether it’s Bill Belichick’s evil ways, or Tom Brady’s smug personality, or Rob Gronkowski being such a frat boy douche, it seems every sports fan in America can find something about this team to despise. Heck, even the whole Spygate thing still gets people’s blood boiling, and that was over five years ago. We feel confident that our English friends will want to share in this experience with us, and it can bring our nations closer together.
When asked to comment on the league’s desire to cultivate hatred for his team, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick simply mumbled something along the lines of, “look, we’re just focusing on the game right now,” prompting the assembled British reporters to look at each other and say, “Them Yanks are right. That bloke IS a right bahstard, innit he?”