NFL COMBINE: Top QB Prospects All Pretending To Be Awful Whenever Browns Scout Is Watching

By
Updated: February 23, 2014

INDIANAPOLIS – Blake Bortles, Teddy Bridgewater, and Johnny Manziel, considered to be the top rookie QB prospects heading into May’s NFL draft, have all apparently been pretending to be awful whenever the Cleveland Browns’ Jon Sandusky has been watching, according to combine sources.

BROWNS AND QB PROSPECTS

 

“It’s weird,” said Sandusky, Director of Player Personnel for the Browns since 2010. “Johnny Manziel is supposed to be about six feet tall, right? Well when I put the tape to him, he measured less than 5’9. It sounds crazy, I know, but I think, he was bending his knees and slumping a little.”

 

Continued Sandusky: “And also, everyone I’ve spoken to says that Blake Bortles had a terrific combine. They told me his mechanics were strong, his form looked sharp, and his passes were crisp and on-target. But I walked up and told him that I was with the Browns, and that with a strong showing, he might just get himself selected by us with pick number four in May. Well, right after that he proceeded to go 0-10 in his next set of drills, and somehow managed to fumble three times despite the fact that he was only simulating the snaps. “

 

The QB hungry Browns are reportedly intent on drafting one of the three top prospects with their first round choice, but according to Sandusky, no player has yet emerged as a favorite.

 

“Teddy Bridgewater didn’t want to throw at the combine, so instead I just sat and interviewed him for a few minutes,” said Sandusky. “And all he kept talking about was how great Johnny Manziel and Blake Bortles were, and how any team would be lucky to get them at pick number four. When I asked him what he himself could offer the Browns if we selected him with the fourth overall choice, he simply told me that he was a ‘terrible quarterback with lousy skills and limited upside,’ and that we’d be crazy to even consider him with our first round pick.”

 

“Well if he thinks he can talk us out of selecting him by telling us how awful he is, then he’s got another thing coming,” concluded Sandusky. We certainly didn’t let those facts dissuade us from drafting Tim Couch, Brady Quinn or Brandon Weeden, so we’re not about to start caring about that stuff now.”

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418 Comments

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  2. USA

    June 26, 2014 at 11:48 am

    We’re going to the knockout rounds!! Yeah!!!

  3. Johnny Manziel is in the Dog Pound

    June 26, 2014 at 5:43 am

    LOL/

  4. Anonymous

    March 25, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Man fuck this whole article. Fuck you. Fuck you all. Fuck everyone. Bitches.

  5. Anonymous

    March 25, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    Cool

  6. Drew Bledsoe

    March 14, 2014 at 10:02 am

    Fuck you , Tom

  7. Gisele bunchden

    March 5, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    Maybe you just arent hot enough to turn him on like i am when we have sex

  8. Melanie Weeden

    March 5, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    We’ll Honey he doesn’t need Viagra before we have sex.

  9. Brandon Weeden

    March 5, 2014 at 4:04 am

    God damn, this new technology! Only fancy young kids can work this!! Back in my day all we used were a pencil and paper! And Brady! come on man! Why hate me! What did I do to you!

  10. Brandon Weeden

    March 5, 2014 at 4:02 am

    Tom settle! I thought we were cool! I mean

  11. Casaadee Pope

    March 4, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    Brady you know hes younger then you

  12. Tom Brady

    March 4, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    Weeden your old as fuck

  13. Peyton Manning

    March 4, 2014 at 11:41 am

    *Sells cheap pizza*

  14. Matt Schaub

    March 4, 2014 at 11:28 am

    *throws pick 6*

  15. Brandon Weeden

    March 4, 2014 at 9:16 am

    These guys are so right! I want out! no QB can succeed in Cleveland! It is impossible! First I come into the league more mature and wiser than any other QB, then I get put on a crappy team! Now I can’t even win! I want out!

  16. Jordy Nelson

    March 4, 2014 at 9:10 am

    Hey guys! you all should follow me on twitter! @FauxJNelson

  17. Anonymous

    March 4, 2014 at 12:21 am

    Because you see we need football back.

  18. RGIII

    March 3, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    *tears ACL*

  19. Plaxico Burress

    March 3, 2014 at 7:07 pm

    *shoots leg*

  20. Manny Ramirez

    March 3, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    *snaps ball*

  21. Tony Romo

    March 3, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    *chokes*

  22. Mark Sanchez

    March 3, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    *runs into own teammates asscheeks*

  23. David Wilson

    March 3, 2014 at 9:22 am

    *fumbles*

  24. Eli Manning

    March 3, 2014 at 9:22 am

    *throws interception*

  25. City of Clevand

    March 2, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    Gah

  26. Brian Hoyer

    March 2, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    Hey you still have me

  27. City of Cleveland

    March 2, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    Gah

  28. Bernie Kosar

    March 2, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    I’m still in Cleveland and ready to suit up!

  29. Raymond Felon

    March 2, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    So stop crowning him WILSON DONT CHANGE MY NAME

  30. Raymond Felton

    March 1, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    So i did that while playing

  31. Phillip Rivers

    March 1, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    Darren Sharper former Nfl Aaftey for the New Orleans Saints and Nfl analasyst who was recently charged of rape and then subsequently turned himself in to the police.

  32. Darren Sharper

    March 1, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    Yeah, I love to imitate Roethlisberger

  33. Kacey Musgraves

    March 1, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    Shut it river

  34. Philip Pivers

    March 1, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    Anonymous the most common name on the site and home to millions of random people everywhere

  35. Anonymous

    March 1, 2014 at 9:31 am

    Someone sounds butthurt

  36. An idiot called Anonymous

    February 28, 2014 at 7:07 pm

    OK, these comment convos are really getting out of hand, please just leave them to the real PFM writers you dumbasses are ruining the comments- HEY WHO CHANGED MY NAME!!! SO HELP ME WILSON OR NEXT TIME YOU PLAY AGAINST PHILADELPHIA I WILL DRESS YOU UP AS SANTA AND LEAVE YOUR DOG WITH MICHAEL VICK!!!

  37. the conspiracy idiot who interrupted malcolm smith

    February 28, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    ITS A CONSPIRACY!!! EVERYONE WHO CONTRIBUTES TO THE COMMENT CONVOS IS ACTUALLY THE PFM WRITERS THEMSELVES BUT THEY USE DIFFERENT NAMES!!! AND ALSO THEY WILL HUNT ME DOWN AND KILL ME BECAUSE I DISCOVERED THEIR HORRBILE SECRET!!! well actually some of the Roethlisberger imitators are just regular people, because everyone imitates Roethlisberger

  38. A Contributor To The Comment Convos

    February 28, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    PFM needs to come out with more stuff, we need new comment convos!!!

  39. Sam Bradford

    February 28, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    but they do the same thing

  40. Sam Bradford

    February 28, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    i told you already, it’s a puppy spreader.

  41. Sam Bradford

    February 28, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    Hey Vick, you didn’t sent me your anus spreader yet

  42. The Colonel from the Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch

    February 28, 2014 at 6:57 am

    Quite agree, quite agree, silly silly silly. Get on with it. GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!

  43. The Annoyed Customer from the Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch

    February 28, 2014 at 6:57 am

    I’m not inclined to continue reading this comment section any further! It’s getting too silly!

  44. Michael Vick

    February 28, 2014 at 6:50 am

    The Browns totally need to sign me, though. I’m into dog pounds and all. I hear they have a big one up there in Cleveland.

  45. Mario

    February 27, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    Eetsa me, Mario! I lika spaghetti! Ima gonna killa Tony Romo! Letsa go!

  46. Elmer Fudd

    February 27, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I’m hunting wabbits. Hey, wook at what I found, it’s tony womo! The NSA is wooking foow you mw. Womo. I should caww my mafia buddies mawio and wuweegee so they can come and get you and kiw you

  47. a piece of poop

    February 27, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    yeah everyone hates you joe fucko AND CHANGE MY NAME BACK!

  48. Peyton Manning

    February 27, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    I like it this way you non Elite fucktard

  49. Matt Shaub

    February 27, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    Donate to O.R.G.A.S.A.M.S

  50. Joe Flactard

    February 27, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    AND CHANGE MY NAME BACK

  51. Joe Flactard

    February 27, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    *facepalm*

  52. Ben Worthlessburger

    February 27, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    IT SEZ:
    I
    A-M
    E-L-I-T-E
    F-U-C-K-E-R-S

  53. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 8:10 pm

    SUCK IT MOFOS!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BWAHAHAHAHAHA

  54. Matt Ryan

    February 27, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    What’s it this time

  55. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    Right, so as I was saying before I was interrupted by a few country singers, some guy who thinks he’s on twitter, and a conspiracy nut…

  56. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    Elmer Fudd working for the NSA? Mario and Luigi in the mafia? Me posting another troll comment? Not everything has some evil hidden message you know that? By the way, you know those are fictional characters?

  57. The Conspiracy Nut Who Interrupted Malcolm Smith

    February 27, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    ITS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE THE FIRST LETTER OF HIS POSTS SPELL OUT SOMETHING!!! also elmer fudd is working for the nsa and Mario and luigi are part of the mafia

  58. The Conspiracy Nut Who Interrupted Malcolm Smith

    February 27, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    ITS A CONSPIRACY!!! HES LYING! also 9/11 was an inside job dick cheney did it

  59. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Kacey Musgrave, Taylor Swift, please stop fighting. I really hate seeing two very talented singers such as you two fighting like that. Please just get along.

  60. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    Could you please stop interrupting me???

  61. Drew Brees

    February 27, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    Dammit stafford my twitter handler is @drewbrees

  62. Mathew Stafford

    February 27, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    @BrezymaEzzy it’s overrun by 10 year old muffins

  63. Drew Brees

    February 27, 2014 at 5:36 pm

    What is this comment section

  64. Kacey musgraves

    February 27, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    And taylor who has album of the year

  65. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    U know thinking about it, it was actually a very foolish thing of me to go about my life trolling people on the internet.

  66. Kacey musgraves

    February 27, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    Actually taylor that was me bitch

  67. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    From now on, I promise to be a better person.

  68. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    Every time I post a troll comment from now on, you all have my permission to come over to my house and slap me.

  69. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    Today I promise that I will no longer be that low life internet troll, I have moved past that stage in my life and I vow to make amends.

  70. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    I truly mean this. This is no joke.

  71. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    Listen, you are all great friends and I would greatly appreciate it if you wouldn’t be so quick to judge me and automaticly assume I am trolling.

  72. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    Even though you probably don’t believe me, I am dead serious, this is not one of my “first letter” trolls. I am being completely honest.

  73. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    My greatest apologies, seriously. I can’t imagine how awful it must be to have to listen to my terrible trolling.

  74. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    Aaron Rodgers, this especially goes for you. You are an amazing quarterback. Seriously.

  75. Russell Wilson

    February 27, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    I have an apology to make to you all. I realize I have been very inconsiderate to you over these comment convos.

  76. taylor bitch swift

    February 27, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    kacey you suck WILSON!!!!!!!

  77. "Emma"

    February 27, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    Spoilers!

  78. Kacey musgraves

    February 27, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    Wtf is this

  79. Sam Bradford

    February 27, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    You are still here because your death is a fixed point in time. You will die when…

  80. Aaron Rodgers

    February 27, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    Why am I still here then? Because I am also a future doctor right?

  81. "Emma"

    February 27, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    OMG SAM BRADFORD IS HALF TIMELORD

  82. Sam Bradford

    February 27, 2014 at 2:52 pm

    They never existed because when the dalek killed Bill Belichick time resumed and because the future doctors were out of their time a paradox was created and they never existed now.

  83. Aaron Rodgers

    February 27, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    Hey what happened to all the other mes?

  84. Bill Belichick

    February 27, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    NOOOO!!! My empire!!! NOOOO!!!

  85. A Dalek

    February 27, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    EXTERMINATE!!!

  86. Bill Belichick

    February 27, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    I SHALL NOW FREEZE TIME SO THAT EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENED IS HAPPENING NOW AND I WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAOS AND TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!! *freezes time*

  87. Genghis Khan

    February 27, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    *regenerates into Bill Belichick*

  88. Galynn Brady

    February 27, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    Oh piss off, you’re enough of a little girl already with that shitty headband you wear.

  89. Mark Sanchez

    February 27, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    Ma Brady!!!

  90. Tom Brady

    February 27, 2014 at 8:03 am

    Don’t you have to slam your head in to some ones ass

  91. Mark Sanchez

    February 27, 2014 at 7:14 am

    Does anyone remember when these comment convos were not essentially rehashed My Little Pony and Dr. Who fanfics?

  92. Aaron Hernandez

    February 27, 2014 at 7:01 am

    *shoots the Master in the groin*

  93. "Emma"

    February 27, 2014 at 6:59 am

    *shoots the Master in the head*

  94. Genghis "The Master" Khan

    February 27, 2014 at 6:58 am

    I AM THE MASTER, AND YOU WILL OBEY ME!

  95. 12th Doctor

    February 27, 2014 at 6:57 am

    *steps out of the TARDIS*

    Who the fuck are you?

  96. Scott Tolzien

    February 27, 2014 at 6:55 am

    Is it not obvious? You were put into a trap. Life is wasted on the living.

    *regenerates into Genghis Khan*

  97. Aaron "15th Doctor" Rodgers

    February 27, 2014 at 6:49 am

    Another TARDIS? Why are there three of me here?

  98. The TARDIS

    February 27, 2014 at 6:48 am

    *vworp vworp*

  99. "Emma" and Metacrisis 15th Doctor (at the same time)

    February 27, 2014 at 6:45 am

    SPOILERS!

  100. Metacrisis 15th Doctor

    February 27, 2014 at 6:44 am

    Maybe I did. But I haven’t yet. But I will have.

  101. Chris Kluwe

    February 27, 2014 at 6:42 am

    If the half-Sam-Bradford Aaron was the one who traveled to 2040, he might have been incompetent enough to accidentally alter the outcome of the Super Bowl.

  102. "Emma" (the Doctor's companion)

    February 27, 2014 at 6:41 am

    Yes, it would. So?

  103. Chris Kluwe

    February 27, 2014 at 6:36 am

    Wait, wouldn’t that make the other Aaron half-human? And more importantly, half-Sam-Bradford?

  104. Philip Rivers

    February 27, 2014 at 6:33 am

    Tehe

  105. Aaron "15th Doctor" Rodgers

    February 27, 2014 at 6:33 am

    OW, MY SCROTUM!

  106. Philip Rivers

    February 27, 2014 at 6:32 am

    Sorry, I missed.

  107. Aaron "15th Doctor" Rodgers

    February 27, 2014 at 6:32 am

    OW, MY HEARTS!

  108. Metacrisis 15th Doctor

    February 27, 2014 at 6:31 am

    Not exactly. To be more precise, when your dick was cut off within the first 15 hours of your regeneration it regenerated itself. And then your severed dick regenerated into me when it came into contact with Sam Bradford.

    Speaking of which… Philip, are you aware your voodoo dolls work on Time Lords?

  109. Aaron "15th Doctor" Rodgers

    February 27, 2014 at 6:27 am

    Oh my giddy aunt, now there’s two of the same me.

  110. Michael "14th Doctor" Sam

    February 27, 2014 at 6:26 am

    *regenerates into Aaron Rodgers*

  111. A Dalek

    February 27, 2014 at 6:25 am

    EXTERMINATE!

  112. Kacey musgraves

    February 26, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    Wtf i know i support gays but you take way to fa

  113. Michael Sam

    February 26, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Bradford up for a 4 way with me Aaron and Jason Collins

  114. Drew Brees

    February 26, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    *vomits*

  115. Sam Bradford

    February 26, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Speaking of strangling people, i strangled my mistress with my 18 feet penis of mine while shoving a vibrator firiously up my ass

  116. Aaron Rodgers

    February 26, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    WILSON, I WILL RIP OUT YOUR INTERNAL INTESTINES AND STRANGLE YOU WITH IT

  117. Rusell Wilson

    February 26, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    And you have gay porn to watch

  118. Aaron Rodgers

    February 26, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    Don’t you have some to rape Ben

  119. Ben Roethlisburger

    February 26, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    Because aaron rodgers is gay you see

  120. Ken jeong

    February 26, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    Ha gayyyyyyyyyu

  121. Aaron Rodgers

    February 26, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    Master bates furiously

  122. Kacey Musgraves

    February 26, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    Awww now kiss

  123. Tom Brady

    February 26, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    …and most of all, Russell Wilson

  124. J steed

    February 26, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    The browns should worry about getting some we first worry about awning later in the draft and pick up Hyde from oh state

  125. Kacey Musgraves

    February 26, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Hey this is not nonsence dont hate on me

  126. Anonymous

    February 26, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    Article was hilarious though. Good as always PFM. Im a jags fan and man I feel bad for the browns.

  127. Anonymous

    February 26, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    Now its just become mostly nonsense.

  128. Ryan Maller

    February 26, 2014 at 11:56 am

    Damm Tom any one else

  129. Kacey Musgraves

    February 26, 2014 at 11:55 am

    What happened to sike

  130. Tom Brady

    February 26, 2014 at 9:53 am

    … That guy who I gave a swirly in high school, Old Man Skinner’s dog, Ryan Leaf, My insurance provider, the Family guy production crew, The Simpsons Production crew…

  131. Anonymous

    February 26, 2014 at 9:53 am

    Clearly satire. Knowing its the Browns (and Im a Browns fan), it had plenty of room for mockery. It was not as funny as I had hoped. The organization deserves the mockery and it shouldn’t stop until they stop proving how dysfunctional they are.

  132. Kacey Musgraves

    February 26, 2014 at 9:46 am

    Oh well

  133. Anonymous

    February 26, 2014 at 9:12 am

    lol

  134. Tom Brady

    February 26, 2014 at 8:17 am

    Sike

  135. Kacey Musgraves

    February 26, 2014 at 8:10 am

    You know if brady is making a sinsere apology yall should be nice to him

  136. Philip Rivers

    February 26, 2014 at 6:54 am

    Fuck off Brady

  137. Tom Brady

    February 26, 2014 at 6:48 am

    …Matt Ryan, Nick Foles, RGIII, Matt Stafford, Christian Ponder (but I’m pretty sure it’s Plumber), Andrew Luck, Drew Bledsoe, Jake Delhomme, Ryan Mallet, Peyton Manning, Matt Hasselbeck, Phillip Rivers (BTW I think 2 of your kids are mine)…

  138. Kacey Musgraves

    February 26, 2014 at 5:45 am

    Aw thank you

  139. Anonymous

    February 26, 2014 at 4:23 am

    Finally somebody acknowledges this^

  140. Pfm readers

    February 26, 2014 at 3:47 am

    Especially musgraves

  141. The Peanut Gallery

    February 25, 2014 at 11:42 pm

    This was better before the teenagers found PFM.

  142. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 10:22 pm

    Thank you for the apology for sexual harassment i dont want it ok and look a pimp named brady i got my gun loaded you better not try to sell me

  143. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    …AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  144. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    …Kelly Holcomb, Donovan McNabb, Sam Bradford, Ben Roethlisberger, Alex Van Pelt, Vinny Testaverde, Blaine Gabbert, Colt McCoy, Kacey Musgraves, why I’m apologizing to her, I have no clue…

  145. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    Well if he doesnt shut up ill take my shotgun and blast his head off a pimp tom brady

  146. Jay Cutler

    February 25, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    Ah, there we go.

  147. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    Yeah, that’s right bi… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU….

  148. Mike Glennon

    February 25, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    Delayed reaction perhaps?

  149. Jay Cutler

    February 25, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    You know, I’m curious to know how a guy who GOT HIS OWN DICK CUT OFF is still talking. Shouldn’t he be making little squeaks of pain?

  150. Joe Flacco

    February 25, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    FINALLY!!!!!!!

  151. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 9:53 pm

    …Ryan Tannehill, Jake Locker, Jay Cutler, Joe Flacco, and yes, I am obligated to acknowledge that you did win a Super Bowl and were named MVP. Frankly I don’t remember it, but still…

  152. Anonymous

    February 25, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    Does anyone else feel like they’re reading three different stories? How many Tom Bradys are there? What have you done Aaron Rodgers? This time traveling has created clones!!

  153. Geno Smith

    February 25, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    Kacey, that’s not the real Brady. It’s a pimp who goes by the name of Tom Brady. The Real Brady is still apologizing.

  154. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    So you still wanna mess with me

  155. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 9:41 pm

    Relax you were gonna be a hooker after your failed abortion of a career flames out. I just sped up the process by two months. BTW you should probably use a password besides “Texas”

  156. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 9:35 pm

    You mean the ones that are in a vault somewhere in texas that i dont tell anyone the password for or the ones i carry on me at alltimes oh i see you took the fake ones retard dont mess with me im from texas

  157. Plaxico Burress

    February 25, 2014 at 9:30 pm

    Ow!

  158. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    Yeah, I stole all your guns and sold them to Plaxico Burress for his Super Bowl rings.

  159. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    If you touch me goodell I’m going and load my shotgun wait by the door and light a cigarette you wanna fight and now you got one and you aint see me crazy yet
    I’m gonna show you what this girls made of gunpowder and lead

  160. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    Same to you goodell

  161. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    By the way I’ll sell you plunders bitch for the removal of Peyton Asshead.

  162. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    Ok lets get this straight im not a fucking prostitute you cant sell me and if you try to i will grab my shotgun which i can use extremly well and blow your head off dont mess with me im from texas

  163. Roger Goodell

    February 25, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    Done, come here Kacey!

  164. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    Kacey I sold you to Roger Goodell as a sex slave in exchange for him rewriting history making me an 8 time Super Bowl champ.

  165. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    Tom i still never got my apology i want a good one

  166. Tom Brady :(

    February 25, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    Yes mama

  167. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    What shit

  168. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    Peace bitches! Goodell you better have that shit done!

  169. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    Hey wheres my apology tom

  170. Gaylynn Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    No problem son. I thought 57 grandchildren was enough anyway.

  171. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    Whatever vick i like hearing tom apologize

  172. Michael Vick

    February 25, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    I’m not killing any dogs!

  173. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    I dont get it lauren

  174. Geno Smith

    February 25, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    Hey, what’s going on?

  175. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    …Alex Smith, Jon Kitna, Carson Palmer, Eli Manning, Jay Fiedler, Drew Brees…

  176. Lauren Tannehill

    February 25, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    Actually he can. I’m reaping the benefits :)

  177. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    Also normal tom keep going

  178. Jay Cutler

    February 25, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    OTHER BRADY, YOU EUNUCH, YOU DONT HAVE A DICK! HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO FUCK WITHOUT A DICK?

  179. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    No you retard it means you cant fuck anyone

  180. Peyton Manning

    February 25, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    I’d say a good 13 years.

  181. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    Wait a minute, so that means I can fuck all I want without worrying about pawning little fuckers off? Thanks mom!

  182. Drew Brees

    February 25, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    I wonder how long this is going to take?

  183. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    …And with that, I extend my humblest and sincerest apologies to Chad Pennington, Brett Favre, Tony Romo, Matt Schaub, Brandon Weeden, Ryan Fitzpatrick…

  184. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    If i may say something archie YOU ARE A BAD PARENT at least both of your sons won a super bowl unlike and also try treating cooper with respect ass

  185. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    WILSON I WILL SELL YOU TO AN OBESE GERIATRIC BITCH!

  186. Michael Sam

    February 25, 2014 at 8:51 pm

    Yum! Troll Brady dick! My favorite!

  187. Archie Manning

    February 25, 2014 at 8:50 pm

    At least Brady can win Super Bowls, without playing Rex Grossman you failure of a son!

  188. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:50 pm

    AAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH YOU BITCH! YOU HEARTLESS BITCH! YYOU HAVE RUINED THE SOURCE OF MY POWER!!!!!

  189. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:50 pm

    Yah go mamma brady now maybe he will stop trying for me to have sex with him

  190. Galynn Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    THAT’S IT! YOU LOST YOUR REPRODUCTIVE PRIVLEGES!

  191. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    He also has a weakness to your brother

  192. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    Wilson quit fucking pretending to be me!

  193. Peyton Manning

    February 25, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    Woah, Brady actually has a weakness? Had I known this, I would have tattled to his mom years ago!

  194. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Im not a fucking prostitute ass listen to mommy and go apologize

  195. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    Ben you fucking suck! You can’t even fuck a bitch I fucking SOLD you!

  196. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    Yes..mother……..dear……..you……..know…..I ……..love……….you…….mommy……dearest………

  197. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    This is pretty awesome not gonna lie

  198. Galynn Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    AND YOU! YES YOU, “PIMP NAMED TOM BRADY!” SHUT YOUR MOUTH OR I WILL CHOP OFF YOUR PENIS AND FEED IT TO A PACK OF HUNGRY MICHAEL SAMS! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, YOUNG MAN!

  199. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    Yah tom apologize

  200. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Aw thats no way to talk to your mom Thomas

  201. Galynn Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    I want you to stop with this nonsense you call Bradyism and apologize to every quarterback whose wife you slept with AS WELL as Mr. Goodell, Gisele AND Russell Wilson. I did not raise my son to be a philandering shitspewer. Maybe an elite quarterback but NEVER a philandering shitspewer! Understand!?

  202. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    I don’t give two fucks about you mom! I’d sell you for a Super Bowl ring and a purple suit!

  203. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Wait brady has a weakness besides the manning family

  204. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    Yes…mother?

  205. Galton Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    THOMAS!!!

  206. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    WILSON I WILL…

  207. A Pimp Named Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    You’ll get your sloppy seconds when you rewrite the history books to my liking Goodell.

  208. Russell Wilson

    February 25, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    Nope, it was me.

  209. Drew Brees

    February 25, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    Gee, I wonder who called his mother on him? Was it Jonathan Martin or Roger Goodell?

  210. Aaron Rodgers

    February 25, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    Wait… His middle names are Edward AND Patrick?

  211. Philip Rivers

    February 25, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    Galynn Brady? Tom Brady’s mother?

  212. Galynn Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    THOMAS EDWARD PATRICK BRADY! YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE, YOUNG MAN!

  213. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    Fuck you brady

  214. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    Who do yall think i am that i can be sold

  215. CHRISTIAN PONDER

    February 25, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    I’m Christian ponder vikings quarterback and no I’m talking about Samantha Ponder

  216. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Fuck off jizzbucket

  217. Roger Goodell

    February 25, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    Mr. Brady, a word, please.

  218. Jameis Winston

    February 25, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    More times than you can imagine.

  219. Ben Roethlisberger's attorney

    February 25, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    Christ Ben! How many times do we have to go through this shit?

  220. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    You dont own me bitch

  221. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 25, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    ALLEGEDLY!!! THERE I SAID IT U HAPPY, LAWYER???

  222. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 25, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    ……

  223. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 25, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    IT’S FUNNY CAUSE I’M A RAPIST YOU SEE!

  224. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    Kacey I just sold you to Roethlisberger. Have fun with that.

  225. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    Tom brady sucks more then cutlers mom

  226. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    Why would anyone join this stupid religon

  227. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    1. Who the fuck are you?
    2. I don’t want Sam Bradford!

  228. Christian Ponder

    February 25, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    Brady I will join your religions for exchange my gorgeous hot wife Sam

  229. Giselle Bünchden

    February 25, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    Same here

  230. Every new yorker

    February 25, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    Agreed

  231. Every ohio state fan

    February 25, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    No kaceys right that religon is stupid

  232. Every NFL QB's Wife/Girlfriend

    February 25, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    Count us in!

  233. Every University of Michigan Fan

    February 25, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    Us too!

  234. Every New England Patriot Fan

    February 25, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    We will!

  235. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 5:55 pm

    No one will follow your stupid religion brady its stupider then taylor swift

  236. Russell wilson

    February 25, 2014 at 5:50 pm

    I did

  237. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 5:49 pm

    Fuck no! See Rule 5 of Bradyism!

  238. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    So wait is romo i She only got you 2 girls

  239. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    Who the fuck changed my name to Anonymous?

  240. Anonymous

    February 25, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    Rule 5 of Bradyism: No failures allowed, especially Romo! I just used him to steal bitches.

  241. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 5:42 pm

    Damm sorry Russell he knew she was 17

  242. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    Also Romo must spend all of eternity with Jerry Jones. BTW, have that blond bitch call me when she’s 18.

  243. @Matthewstaford

    February 25, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    @TomtheMagnificent how the hell do you not have AIDS yet?

  244. Danielle Bradbery

    February 25, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    Then Romo has his three girls

  245. Danielle Bradbery

    February 25, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    Yah tom i can show you an awesome time

  246. ESPN

    February 25, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    Tony Romo just doesn’t have what it takes, he chokes at the worst times, he’s the cause of all of Dallas’s problems!

  247. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    Dont worry you can have my friend danielle bradbery shes a hot blond singer

  248. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 5:36 pm

    Help Romo? I’m having him executed! Death by media hatred. I thought we could bang during the execution.

  249. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    But i do know another hot singer whos willing to have sex with you

  250. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    Sorry tom i dont help romo hes a bigger embarassment to my home state the the astros the texans combines

  251. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    Carrie and whatshername, you can stay. Romo, you and that disgusting walrus piss off! Kacey, you’re free to stay.

  252. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 25, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    STAY OFF MY TURF BITCH!

  253. Kacey Musgraves

    February 25, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    So 1 failure of a singer 1 person who chooses shitty husbands and a whale with a wig great choices tom

  254. Leslie Chow

    February 25, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA IT FUNNY CUZ’ SHE FAT!

  255. Tony Romo

    February 25, 2014 at 5:22 pm

    That’s Jessica Simpson.

  256. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    Let’s see, Carrie Underwood, your current wife, and what the fuck? How in the fuck did you pull a whale out of the ocean and get a blonde wig on it?

  257. Tony Romo

    February 25, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    Please let me join Brady! I’m so damn lonely! I have the three chicks you asked for!

  258. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    Listen up jizzrags! I’ve started a new religion, it’s called Bradyism! First rule, I get first dibs on all hot chicks over 18! Second rule, bitches, unless you’re talking about how huge my cock is, how handsome I am, or how awesome I am, shut the fuck up! This means you Gisele! Third rule, to, join, you must bring me three hot ass chicks to bang. Rule 4: If you make an offering of Super Bowl rings, you may have my sloppy seconds, with my prior permission.

  259. Drew Brees

    February 25, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    Wait the vikings have playrrs besides adrian peterson

  260. Christian Potato Chip

    February 25, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    I’m the Vikings starting QB

  261. Drew Brees

    February 25, 2014 at 4:10 pm

    What team do you play for

  262. Christian Ponder

    February 25, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    It’s Ponder honestly you guy remember Weeden name but not mine?

  263. Johnathon Martin

    February 25, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    Russell it is not nice to be making fun of other people like that it hurts their feelings

  264. Russell Wilson

    February 25, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Not me

  265. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    Hey who the fuck changed my name

  266. Tom Nrady

    February 25, 2014 at 2:12 pm

    Goddamm it Staford this isn’t twiter

  267. Matt stafford

    February 25, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    @christianplunger yah good for the #lions #bears #packers you suck plunger #golions #megatron

  268. Christian Ponder

    February 25, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    Thank goodness I play for the Vikings then the Browns

  269. Teddy Bridgewater

    February 25, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    Yez zir gumee Berz yay

  270. Drew Brees

    February 25, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    So is that going to be teddys thing being stupider the big ben

  271. Teddy Bridgewater

    February 25, 2014 at 11:55 am

    Gumee Berz yippee

  272. Manny Ramirez

    February 25, 2014 at 9:14 am

    *snaps ball

  273. Tom Brady

    February 25, 2014 at 9:10 am

    Getting real sick of your shit Roethlisberger. Your job is to explain jokes. Not question logic.

  274. Travaris Jackson

    February 25, 2014 at 8:38 am

    Fuck yeah

  275. Teddy Bridgewater

    February 25, 2014 at 8:24 am

    Gumee berz! Yummy! Funnnnn!

  276. Johnny Manziel

    February 25, 2014 at 8:23 am

    Shush, Roethlisberger. You and Teddy Bridgewater just go enjoy your gummy bears.

  277. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 25, 2014 at 8:20 am

    I DONT THINK SOMEONE NAMED JOHN CAN BE CALLED JOHNNY FOOTBALL

  278. Cam Newton

    February 25, 2014 at 8:15 am

    Sure

  279. Ghost of Johnny Unitas

    February 25, 2014 at 8:15 am

    I WILL POSSESS YOU SO THAT YOU GET HURT BEFORE YOUR NEXT SUPER BOWL AND YOUR BACKUP WINS MVP AND CHOKES IN THE SUPER BOWL, WILSON!

  280. Russell Wilson

    February 25, 2014 at 8:11 am

    yeah. It is John Elway.

  281. Marshawn Lynch

    February 25, 2014 at 8:07 am

    BEAST MODE MOTHERFUCKERS! BEAST MODE MOCK DRAFT JADAVEON CLOWNSHOE #1. BEAST MODE HOPE TO RUN ALL OVER PUNY CLOWNSHOE.

  282. Ghost of Johnny Unitas

    February 25, 2014 at 7:41 am

    Shut your cock sucker, Manziel. Everyone knows who the real “Johnny Football” is.

  283. Alex Trebek

    February 25, 2014 at 7:25 am

    Hey cam after i retire would you host jeopardy

  284. Alex Trebek

    February 25, 2014 at 6:14 am

    Correct Cam

  285. Cam Newton

    February 25, 2014 at 5:52 am

    I think I know this one! Is it, “Things that Johnny Manziel says to drunk sorority girls”?

  286. Johnny Manziel

    February 25, 2014 at 3:43 am

    Its johnny football to you bitches

  287. You know who this is

    February 25, 2014 at 2:06 am

    BECAUSE JOHNNY MANZIEL IS IMMATURE, YOU SEE!

  288. Johnny Manizel

    February 24, 2014 at 11:38 pm

    Go fuck yourself Stumpy

  289. Russell Wilson

    February 24, 2014 at 10:37 pm

    you mean like Johnny Manziel?

  290. Tom Brady

    February 24, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    Sorry Rodgers, there are children reading this conversation.

  291. Aaron Hail Mary Homosexual Replacement Refs Rodgers

    February 24, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    WILSON, I WILL…

  292. Aaron Hail Mary Homosexual Replacement Refs Rodgers

    February 24, 2014 at 9:41 pm

    O…kay…?

  293. Russell Wilson

    February 24, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    TROLOLOLOLOLOL! It’s better now!

  294. Aaron Hail Mary Replacement Refs Rodgers

    February 24, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    I’M NOT GAY! AND WHO CHANGED MY NAME BACK TO THIS?

  295. Brady Leaf

    February 24, 2014 at 9:39 pm

    Hi Tom! You’re awesome because we share the same name!
    Hi Sam! You’re awesome because we share the same jokes!
    Hi Aaron! You’re awesome because we share the same sexual orientation!

  296. Tom Brady

    February 24, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    Obviously-not-Eli there must be talking about Ryan Leaf’s little brother.

  297. Peyton Manning

    February 24, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    I still have a small penis! Brady is a fag!

  298. Tom Brady

    February 24, 2014 at 9:35 pm

    I think we found Manziel’s gimmick.

  299. Johnny Manziel

    February 24, 2014 at 9:35 pm

    I’m surprised he knows what “civil” means.

    Wait, what does “civil” mean?

  300. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 24, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE STOP IS THE… WAIT, IS BRADFORD ACTING SOMEWHAT CIVIL?

  301. Sam Bradford

    February 24, 2014 at 9:33 pm

    No, that’s the opposite of what Granny Manning said.

  302. Brian Hoyer

    February 24, 2014 at 9:32 pm

    STOP. Just… STOP.

  303. Sam Bradford

    February 24, 2014 at 9:32 pm

    Hello Eli. Yes, you’re as obvious as your grandmother when she said…

  304. Peyton Manning

    February 24, 2014 at 9:30 pm

    I have a small penis.

  305. Andrew Luck

    February 24, 2014 at 9:24 pm

    Hey the jets are great competition and deserve respect

  306. Alex Smith

    February 24, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    Here let me explain Geno: Fuck the Jets

  307. Geno Smith

    February 24, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    Uh…what the fuck just happened?

  308. Anonymous

    February 24, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    Because you see Spygate did happen.

  309. Russell Wilson

    February 24, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    or like Bill Belichick saying spygate never happened

  310. The 13th Doctor

    February 24, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    I better not regenerate into Russell Wilson *regenerates into Michael Sam*

  311. A Cyberman

    February 24, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    DELETE

  312. A Dalek

    February 24, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    EXTERMINATE

  313. The 13th Doctor

    February 24, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    *poof* I AM NOT GAY

  314. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 24, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    OH WAIT I’M AM AFC NORTH QB RIGHT?

  315. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 24, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Because AFC North quarterbacks are can’t deny they’re terri… wait, something isn’t right here.

  316. Tom Brady

    February 24, 2014 at 6:45 pm

    AFC North quarterbacks argueing over whos elite thats like michael sam aaron rodgera argueing over whos straight

  317. Joe Flacco

    February 24, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    Oh yeah! Well how many playoff victories do you have Gingersnap!

  318. Andy Dalton

    February 24, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    Hey! I’m the most elite QB in the AFC North. I have lead my team to the playoffs EVERY YEAR of my career. Something Joe Flaccid can’t say!

  319. Mark Sanchez

    February 24, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    God could you work it for me to become the next Browns QB my talent is far above Hoyers.

  320. Matt Ryan

    February 24, 2014 at 5:50 pm

    Fuck you Romo

  321. Alternate Universe Matt Hasselbeck

    February 24, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    #itsfunnybecauseRomowearshishatbackwards

  322. Nick Foles

    February 24, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    Well you asked for it romo your a worthless peice of shit who chokes and has a stupid hat

  323. Peyton Manning

    February 24, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    Shut up, Romo. Everyone hates you.

  324. Tony Romo

    February 24, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    And I haven’t been attacked yet

  325. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 24, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    SHUT UP BRIAN HOYER. I AM A TWO TIME SUPER BOWL CHAMPION SO I AM THE MOST ELITE QB IN THE AFC NORTH.

  326. Joe Flacco

    February 24, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    You want to go bro

  327. Drew Brees

    February 24, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    Hey he has a superbowl ring from me your welcome

  328. Brian Hoyer

    February 24, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    I don’t know what you’re talking about, Flactard. You haven’t won a Super Bowl so forget that noise

  329. Joe Flacco

    February 24, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    Well have you won a SUPER BOWL before?

  330. Brian Hoyer

    February 24, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    I went 3-0 with the browns i am more elite the any other qb in the afc north

  331. Carson Palmer

    February 24, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    Tom he’s a miserable excuse for a QB he has to play for Clevland

  332. Tom Brady

    February 24, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    Who the hell are you??

  333. Brian Hoyer

    February 24, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    What about me im 3-0 and never lost a game with THE BROWNS LET ME START

  334. Anonymous

    February 24, 2014 at 2:36 pm

    Pay me 1,000 a game I will be the browns qb then take the.saving.and buy me betrer receivers and a O line. We might get somewhere.

  335. Kacey Musgraves

    February 24, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    Isnt that bens job to explain jokes

  336. Anonymous

    February 24, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    It’s funny because Aaron Rodgers is gay.

  337. Kacey Musgraves

    February 24, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    We all know rodgers wants to put his dick into rivers mouth

  338. Philip Rivers

    February 24, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    That’s a poor choice of words for you, Rodgers.

  339. Kacey Musgraves

    February 24, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    We know you want to

  340. Aaron Rodgers

    February 24, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    Can someone put a dick in his mouth

  341. Philip Rivers

    February 24, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    Derrick Rose?? Former NBA MVP who’s career has been derailed recently by injuries??

  342. Derrick Rose

    February 24, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    *tears both ACLs*

  343. Derrick Rose

    February 24, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    Do I hear the Browns need a QB? No worries, I’m on this!!

  344. Jim Harbaugh

    February 24, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    Then why do I keep winning

  345. Brian hoyer

    February 24, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    Don’t worry Cleveland once I’m healthy i can win just like last year I’m 3-0

  346. City of Cleveland

    February 24, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    You know you don’t play anymore right?

  347. Jim Harbaugh

    February 24, 2014 at 12:13 pm

    Tears Acl

  348. The city of Clevland

    February 24, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    Someday our wish will be granted and we’ll have Jim who will bring us to the promise land

  349. The city of Clevland

    February 24, 2014 at 11:59 am

    Fuck

  350. The 12th Man

    February 24, 2014 at 11:58 am

    FUCK

  351. Jed York

    February 24, 2014 at 11:55 am

    You’re stuck here til 2015 and you’re going to like it!

  352. Jim Harbaugh

    February 24, 2014 at 11:53 am

    But I want to leave now, I want to go now

  353. Jed York

    February 24, 2014 at 11:51 am

    Not so fast, Harbaugh

  354. Ryan Tannehill

    February 24, 2014 at 11:50 am

    Jim, did you by any chance stop by Brees’ house and start drinking his Nyquil?

  355. Colin Kapernick

    February 24, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Go Phins

  356. Jim Harbaugh

    February 24, 2014 at 11:38 am

    It’s now official. I’m so proud to be coaching the Cleveland Browns and to be competing in the AFC North with my brother John. So those who will show great interest to play with a winning coach, then lets do it. I want a fresh start to a new beginning. So tired of living in the shadows of old Pete of the Seahawks and the whiners lousy owner Jed York. Sorry for venting out in this public site, but that’s how it goes. I have my list of players so be yourself and show me what you can do and you’re in the Browns. #GoBrowns

  357. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 24, 2014 at 11:20 am

    BECAUSE JERRY JONES LIKES TO GROSSLY OVERPAY MEDIOCRE AND OVERHYPED PLAYERS YOU SEE

  358. Jerry Jones

    February 24, 2014 at 11:19 am

    The Cowboys will get even more undeserved exposure! Timmy how does 5 years at $180 million sound?

  359. Dallas Cowboys Fans

    February 24, 2014 at 11:18 am

    Hey he’s won the same amount of playoff games as Tony Homo

  360. God

    February 24, 2014 at 11:17 am

    Not even I would wish that monstrosity of a quarterback on the Browns. The Cowboys though…

  361. Browns Front Office

    February 24, 2014 at 11:16 am

    (Runs away screaming)

  362. Tim Tebow

    February 24, 2014 at 11:15 am

    Wait the Browns need a Quarterback! I can do it!

  363. Pingback: NFL COMBINE: Top QB Prospects All Pretending To Be Awful Whenever Browns Scout Is Watching

  364. Vince

    February 24, 2014 at 10:53 am

    These comments make this article even better!

  365. Cam Newton

    February 24, 2014 at 10:40 am

    Hey Katherine, we had some great times at Auburn. Hit me up whenever you’re in Charlotte

  366. Katharine Webb

    February 24, 2014 at 10:09 am

    You were next on my list, Jameis. No worries.

  367. Jameis Winston

    February 24, 2014 at 10:08 am

    Me too.

  368. Russell Wilson

    February 24, 2014 at 10:08 am

    I have one championship this past season.

  369. Russell Wilson

    February 24, 2014 at 9:50 am

    But she likes a real winner

  370. AJ McCarron

    February 24, 2014 at 9:45 am

    Hey! I won TWO national championships!!!

  371. Katherine Webb

    February 24, 2014 at 8:51 am

    Oh, that was amazing, Brady!! I’m stopping at Russell Wilson’s house next to feel what its like to be with a real winner!!

  372. Geno Smith

    February 24, 2014 at 8:38 am

    Dammit Brady! Don’t you know that the rules state that college QB wives or girlfriends are off limits?

  373. Tom Brady

    February 24, 2014 at 6:27 am

    Guys, i think we just found Cutler’s mom’s replacement

  374. Tom Brady

    February 24, 2014 at 6:27 am

    And Dee Dee, the way you held my Lombardi Trophy…unbelievable

  375. Tom Brady

    February 24, 2014 at 5:54 am

    Too late kathrine that was great last night

  376. AJ McCarron

    February 24, 2014 at 5:22 am

    Forget it Brady, you’re not banging my mom and my gf

  377. Alex Smith

    February 23, 2014 at 11:13 pm

    Tom, if you’re into MILFs, McCarron’s mom is pretty hot, too. Google Dee Dee Bonner and check out her rack.

  378. Tom Brady

    February 23, 2014 at 10:05 pm

    Tell you what aj i get to bang your hot gf ill put in a good word for you

  379. AJ McCarron

    February 23, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    Hey what about me? I think I’m good enough for the first round

  380. Matt Hasselback

    February 23, 2014 at 9:54 pm

    Because im a backup qb you see

  381. Tom Brady

    February 23, 2014 at 9:30 pm

    Getting real sick of your shit Hasselbeck. Leave that job to Roethlisberger. Hes actually a starting QB at least….

  382. Drew Brees

    February 23, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    Isnt that bens job

  383. MATT HASSELEBACK FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

    February 23, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    SHE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU

  384. Kacey Musgraves

    February 23, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    Johnny if you go to the texans i can shoe you how a real texas girl is

  385. Ghost of Joe Paterno

    February 23, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    They should watch what they’re doing or else Jon will get his dad, Jerry, to have showers with them… and I won’t say anything about it

  386. Andrew Luck

    February 23, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    Mister God, I would just like you to know that while I believe you could be potentially the greatest quarterback to play the game, I completely respect your decision to not declare for this draft. Still, I would be honored to be in the same league as you.

  387. Blake Bortles

    February 23, 2014 at 8:43 pm

    Scram, churchy!

  388. Tim Tebow

    February 23, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    Jesus Can

  389. Russell Wilson

    February 23, 2014 at 8:22 pm

    Even I can’t troll at God’s level.

  390. Matt Ryan

    February 23, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    Is anyone else thinking that Wilson hacked GODS account

  391. God

    February 23, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    Oh not rot suffer josh gordon will tare his acl and youll have 50 different coaches

  392. God

    February 23, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    For about four years, then you’ll sign with Dallas and win 3 Super Bowls.

  393. Johnny Manziel

    February 23, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    So I’m damned to rot in that hellhole they call Cleveland?

  394. God

    February 23, 2014 at 8:10 pm

    And just for that, another generation of failure, sadness and despair for you, Browns fans. Which is too bad, because you would have won the Super Bowl with Manziel and Muema leading the team by 2015.

  395. Cleveland Browns Fans

    February 23, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    God Damn you, God!

  396. God

    February 23, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    …On second thought, I think I’ll stay in Heaven another eternity. Maybe declare next eternity.

  397. Cleveland Browns

    February 23, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    *Trades up to #1 spot*

  398. God

    February 23, 2014 at 7:47 pm

    None of you jizzrags! I’ve declared myself to the draft!

  399. Blake Bortles

    February 23, 2014 at 7:42 pm

    or me

  400. Teddy bridgewater

    February 23, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    Are they drafting me

  401. God

    February 23, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    The Texans, obviously.

  402. Anonymous

    February 23, 2014 at 7:08 pm

    Who is going #1 god

  403. Adam Muema

    February 23, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    (Leaves to join a Buddhist monastary in Tibet)

  404. Johnny Manziel

    February 23, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    Goddamnit!

  405. God

    February 23, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    Oh that? Nah, I was just fucking with you. You’re going to Cleveland. As are you, Man-of-spiel.

  406. Adam Muema

    February 23, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    Or… You could be like me and say that You can only play for the Seahawks because God told you.

  407. Johnny Manziel

    February 23, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    So wait if we act interested you wont draft me

  408. Jon Sandusky

    February 23, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    Nope, in fact, it only makes me want to draft one of you more.

  409. The Entire 2014 QB class

    February 23, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    Did it work? Is he gone?

  410. Kacey Musgraves

    February 23, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    God the browns are worse the taylor swift

  411. Russell Wilson

    February 23, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    Someone who put up 34 against the #4 scoring defense, 29 against the #3 defense, and 43 against yours.

  412. Russell Wilson

    February 23, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    A quarterback who didn’t spectacularly derp away his chance when everyone wanted him to win.

  413. Peyton Goddamn Manning

    February 23, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    What does that make you then, Wilson?

  414. Russell Wilson

    February 23, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    Yeah, elite QBs need to score points against great defenses.

  415. Eli Manning

    February 23, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    Ever that is too elite

  416. Peyton Goddamn Manning

    February 23, 2014 at 1:45 pm

    Shut up Flacwad! You’re about as elite as the bloodstain on the front of Andy Dalton’s panties!

  417. Joe Flacco

    February 23, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Even if I wasn’t an elite Super Bowl champion, I wouldn’t play for the Browns.

  418. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 23, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    BECAUSE WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO PLAY FOR THE BROWNS

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