Ndamukong Suh Insists Stomp On Aaron Rodgers’ Nutsack In Upcoming Game Will Not Be Intentional

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Updated: December 26, 2014

DETROIT – While preparing for Sunday’s crucial game against the Green Bay Packers that will decide the NFC North Division championship, Lions DT Ndamukong Suh insisted that the fierce stomp he will be delivering directly into the groin area of Packers QB Aaron Rodgers sometime during the first quarter will be, “completely unintentional and not at all dirty,” sources close to the fifth-year defender confirmed early today.

Detroit Lions DT Ndamukong Suh and Green Bay Packers QB Aaron Rodgers

 

“I can assure you that the upcoming heel grind I will be administering to Aaron’s ballsack during this weekend’s game will be completely inadvertent,” Suh told reporters after Friday’s morning practice. “And frankly, I’m getting pretty sick of being called a dirty player for completely accidental attacks like this one, which will be occurring on Sunday sometime around 4:35 EST.”

 

Suh, who was selected to his fourth Pro Bowl this past week, was once named the “dirtiest player in the NFL” by a Sporting News poll, and has been fined a total of $216,875 over the course of his career for numerous personal fouls.

 

“Look, football is a violent, fast-moving game,” Suh said, while filing his metal cleats to razor sharpness. “I can’t help it if my foot just happens to smash really, really hard into Rodger’s junk while I’m in the act of tackling him to the ground just after he’s released the ball for a first down pass, preferably on a short screen when there’s more bodies around to block the referee’s view.”

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9 Comments

  1. Tony Romo

    December 29, 2014 at 4:19 am

    But he never said that his stomp on Aaron Rodgers’ ankle would be unintentional.

  2. Random

    December 28, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    Wow. Suh did step on Rodgers in this game. Are you guys psychic?

  3. PFM Comments

    December 28, 2014 at 9:14 am

    Would Olivia Munn even notice a difference?

  4. Ogre

    December 26, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    NERDS!!!!

    NERDS NERDS NERDS NERDS!!!

  5. ACW

    December 26, 2014 at 7:11 am

    Hate to be “that guy,” but it should be “Rodgers’s.” Also, the game’s at 4:25 EST.

    • gschuebel

      December 26, 2014 at 9:49 am

      ACW I created an account just so I could log in and let you know you’re an idiot. It’s Rodgers’ and certainly not ” Rodgers’s ” as that wouldn’t make any sense.

      • Maverick Mopete

        December 26, 2014 at 10:45 am

        Actually, gschuebel, you’re both right. There is no hard and fast rule for where the apostrophe goes when a name that ends with S is involved. So either “Rodgers’ junk” or “Rodgers’s junk” is correct. But ACW is right in that it should not be “Rodger’s”, because that would imply that his name is Aaron Rodger.

        • ACW

          December 26, 2014 at 12:40 pm

          Yeah, Rodgers’ works too (though my personal preferences is ‘s).

      • AnonyMOOSE

        December 29, 2014 at 12:40 pm

        The only idiot here is the one who created an account just to call someone else an idiot.

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