Marcus Mariota Shows Off Blazing Speed At NFL Combine By Running Away From Buccaneers Scouts

Updated: February 20, 2015

INDIANAPOLIS – Heisman Trophy winning QB Marcus Mariota, widely expected to be one of the top players selected in the first round of this April’s draft, wowed onlookers during Friday’s session of the NFL combine with his blazing speed as he sprinted away from Tampa Bay scouts hoping to interview him about the possibility of his becoming a Buccaneer, according to impressed sources on the scene.

Marcus Mariots 40 Yard Dash


“I knew Mariota was fast, but when I saw him scampering away from those Buccaneers officials, I realized just how fast he can run when he really needs to,” said NFL network analyst Albert Breer. “When you’re faced with a dangerous situation, like a blitzing linebacker, or the risk of spending your entire career in a boring town like Tampa Bay playing for one of the least successful franchises in NFL history, it’s important to use quick feet and long strides to get yourself out of danger, which Mariota showed he can truly do.”


According to onlookers, the former Oregon quarterback wasn’t the only prospect showing off his “Tampa speed.”


“After failing to get an interview with Mariota, I saw the Buccaneers officials try to corner (former Florida State QB) Jameis Winston,” Said Sports Illustrated’s Andrew Brandt. “Sensing trouble, Winston simply juked to his left, spun away from the scouts, and took off running across the field with his patented ‘crab legs swiping speed.’ I tell you, that kid can flat out fly!”

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  2. mister83

    December 3, 2015 at 11:46 am


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  4. toadofsteel

    May 13, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    Oops I didn’t mean to post the second comment as Bob A. I was originally going to post something like “What I meant to say was (impersonating Bob A whining)” but then I forgot to change the name back when I realized that it wasn’t Bob A who made the comment.

    • MOIST

      June 16, 2015 at 9:22 pm

      I approve of this post with the stamp of MOIST

  5. Bob A

    May 13, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    I honestly doubt that was actually Bob A who wrote that. If you guys remember correctly Bob A always had really horrible grammar and spelling. Probably just some idiot trying to impersonate people again. I usually check back to this website about once a week to see if there is any new material and I’ll admit I was a little bit dissappointed that you didn’t do anything for the draft, but if you decided to move on then that is your choice. And as for whoever DID write that comment below me… YOU are the only one who should be ashamed of yourself, for writing that nasty comment and then trying to blame it on someone who everyone else knows could never construct a single sentence, much less an entire paragraph, in legible English.

    • MOIST

      June 16, 2015 at 9:23 pm

      Your conclusion, based on large amounts of empirical observation, is absolutely correct. And MOIST!

  6. Bob A

    May 10, 2015 at 5:01 pm

    What the fuck ever happened to “the website will continue, just without the convos”??? You realize its been two entire MONTHS ever since you posted something? Oh, and the draft was last week, so if the convos are coming back for “special occasions”, as you implied, and you can’t even get your lazy ass to do any regular stories for the freaking DRAFT, then I don’t know what occasion would be so special for there to ever be another convo. I hope you realize that you let a lot of people down, including me. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that I was really looking forward to seeing the convos return at least just for the draft. Shame on you.

    • MOIST

      June 16, 2015 at 9:26 pm

      This comment didn’t leave me MOIST; both because it’s quasi-nagging, and also because it’s clearly not the real Bob A. The real Bob A was incapable of creating a salient point. So no, this is not MOIST, and it does not receive my MOIST seal of approval.

  7. toadofsteel

    March 11, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    Please do an intercepted text between Bradford and Chip Kelly.

  8. Anonymous

    February 24, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    Glad to see you will still be doing articles. Just no more qb convos sadly. But hey at least it’s something!

    • AnonyMOOSE

      February 24, 2015 at 2:26 pm

      He strongly hinted that they’ll come back when something big happens. My guess is he’ll probably do one about once a month once the season starts. Also I hope the Intercepted Texts come back, those were always really good.

      • Anonymous

        March 10, 2015 at 7:15 pm

        Hope so. If he does make convos I would like to see another free agency convo and maybe a draft one. Cause free agency has been crazy so far!

      • Todd Fox

        April 27, 2015 at 10:00 am

        I hope he does an article of Tim Tebow signing with the Eagles.

  9. Guy

    February 21, 2015 at 10:04 pm

    Hate to be THAT guy, but Tampa Bay is listed as a “city” on Wikipedia.

    • Hair

      February 24, 2015 at 12:53 pm

      *is split right down the middle*

      • MOIST

        February 24, 2015 at 1:41 pm

        *is MOIST*

        • Manny Ramirez

          February 24, 2015 at 2:27 pm

          *snaps ball*

          • Seahawks Fans

            February 25, 2015 at 8:21 pm

            *buy new Tom Brady jerseys*

            • Eli Manning

              February 26, 2015 at 11:33 am

              *gets sacked*

              • Mark Sanchez

                February 26, 2015 at 11:34 am

                *runs into own linemans ass, fumbles ball, is returned for touchdown*

  10. AnonyMOOSE

    February 21, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    Yeah! Knew you’d be back. :)

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