LaDainian Tomlinson Signs One-Day Contract to Retire as a Pittsburgh Steeler
"I will always treasure the two Super Bowl rings that I am now retroactively entitled to," says former "Steeler."
PITTSBURGH – Former Chargers/Jets RB LaDainian Tomlinson held an emotional press conference today to announce the signing of a one-day contract that would allow him to officially retire as a member of the Pittsburgh Steelers, despite never having actually played for that particular team.
“It means so much to me to officially end my career here in the great city of Pittsburgh where I spent, what was it, like five of six games during my career? Four as a Charger and two as a Jet, I think?” said Tomlinson, choking back tears. “Whatever it was, I’m just so very thrilled to now retire as a member of this proud organization, and I will always treasure the two Super Bowl titles that were won by the team during my playing days, even if I didn’t, you know, technically participate in them at the time.”
Tomlinson, 34, was a five-time pro bowler during his days with San Diego, and was voted NFL MVP in 2006. After playing in 2011-2012 with New York, he signed a one day ceremonial contract last year to retire as a member of the Chargers. But today he elected to resurrect his career just long enough to sign the new one-day deal with the Steelers in order to announce his second retirement.
“My decision last year to symbolically end my career with San Diego was based on the emotion that comes with having spent nine seasons with the Chargers. Today’s decision to unretire, then re-retire with Pittsburgh, on the other hand, was based on the emotion that comes with not having ever been to the goddamn Super Bowl, and the powerful need that I feel to be remembered as having taken part in an NFL championship, albeit retroactively.”
Added Tomlinson, “I look forward to receiving my two rings in the mail any day now. Thank you, Steeler nation!”
“Holy crap, we can do that?” asked former NFL greats Dan Marino, Warren Moon, and Barry Sanders, who each then filed paperwork with the league to resume their playing careers just long enough to formally retire as members of the Patriots, 49ers, and Cowboys, respectively.