Kansas City Chiefs Surprising Success Giving Hope To Other Shitty Teams

Updated: October 18, 2013

KANSAS CITY – Following their disastrous 2-14 season a year ago, the 6-0 Kansas City Chiefs are continuing to surpass all expectations in 2013, and  have become a model of hope for many of the perennially shitty teams across the NFL.

"We're surprisingly successful!"

“We’re surprisingly successful!”


“I still can’t believe the Chiefs are undefeated,” said Jaguars RB Maurice Jones-Drew. “That’s why I went into the locker room on Wednesday and told the fellas, ‘hey, if a team that’s normally horrible year after year the way they’ve been can suddenly pull it together to play relatively competent football this season, who’s to say our normally horrible team can’t do the same thing?'”


Led by new coach Andy Reid, an unexpectedly stingy defense, and a shockingly not-totally-inept Alex Smith, the Chiefs are currently in first place in the AFC West (by virtue of a tiebreaker over the also undefeated Broncos), and have many observers wondering if the usually awful franchise might actually win the division over the powerhouse Denver team.

"We're not."

“We’re not.”


“You’ve really gotta hand it to Kansas City. They beat the Eagles and Cowboys. They destroyed the Raiders and Giants. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if they earned a first round bye,” said WR Vincent Jackson of the consistently terrible Tampa Bay Buccaneers. “And that just motivates us to try to not suck anymore either.”


While the season is a long way from over, the sudden rise of the Chiefs is being hailed by many as a potential turning point for shitty teams across the NFL landscape.


“We’ve definitely been inspired by Kansas City,” said DE Mario Williams of the 2-4 Buffalo Bills. “After seeing what they’ve done so far this year, our entire team has vowed to at least be, you know, mildly competitive in our games before we lose. And if you look closely at the stats in any of our losses, I think you’ll see we’ve accomplished just that.”



Leave a Reply


  1. Aaron Rodgers

    March 25, 2014 at 6:31 pm

    That makes me moist, thinking about all those guys manhandling each other on the field, and showering together afterwards.

  2. Matt McGloin

    March 2, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    Holy shit your right

  3. Kenneth Smith-Brady

    February 11, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    Broncos-Seahawks, and the Hawks absolutely murder them. By like 30-40 points

  4. Walla86

    October 29, 2013 at 9:35 am

    Love the story, just hilarious.

    Big time fail on “NinerFaithful”, this story has nothing to do with the Niner’s unless you want to call them inept.

  5. anghiggy

    October 22, 2013 at 9:36 am

    Ok, this one was just totally hilarious!!!

  6. Anonymous

    October 22, 2013 at 3:40 am

    Chiefs vs Niners anyone?

  7. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    Colts-Seahawks goodbye.

  8. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 9:57 am

    You guys are all crazy. We all know the Chiefs and Lions are going to the Bowl.

  9. Niner's Wont Even Make the Playoffs

    October 19, 2013 at 2:55 am

    I disagree, IFHSS. Saints-Broncos, *Saints* win. Peyton Mann-tard has a history of self-destructing against Louisiana teams, as does his brother.

  10. IFHSS

    October 18, 2013 at 8:06 pm

    LOL yea the 49ers are totally gonna win the SB. Totally, no one disagrees with that…
    Saints-Broncos. Denver wins. I am sure the defense will get good enough to go all the way.
    Meanwhile SF won’t even be able to beat the shehawks…

  11. Seth

    October 18, 2013 at 7:02 pm

    How ’bout they get out of the NFC West without being blown out by Seattle before you say they’re winning the Bowl, eh?

  12. NinerFaithful

    October 18, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    Nope Niners winning it this year. Enough Said.

  13. Seth

    October 18, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    It’d be hilarious if Chiefs win the bowl this year… Imagine how 49ers and Eagles fans will feel lol

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