Jets Hire Eleven-Year Old “Punt, Pass & Kick” Winner To Tutor Mark Sanchez

Updated: August 19, 2013
Bradley to Sanchez: "Have you tried, you know, NOT sucking?"

Bradley to Sanchez: “Have you tried, you know, NOT sucking?”

NEW YOK, NY – Eleven year old Madison Bradley, winner of the Girls’ 10-11 Division of the NFL Punt Pass and Kick competition, is now working with New York Jets QB Mark Sanchez as an outside consultant to help improve the quarterback’s mechanics, team sources confirmed early this morning.


“Madison will be spending some time with Mark over the coming weeks working on individual drills,” confirmed head coach Rex Ryan. “Together, they’ll focus on a number of issues including footwork, accuracy, read progression, not running into teammates’ backsides, and wrist control. Essentially a reinforcement of the fundamentals that can benefit any quarterback from time to time.”


Bradley, of Haddon Township NJ,expressed excitement over the opportunity to work with Sanchez, as well as confidence that the fifth-year quarterback’s struggles could be corrected with hard work and dedication.


In order to gain a competitive advantage against the Jets, Bill Belichick has reportedly been trying to steal Bradley’s diary.


“I’ve been reviewing film on Mr. Sanchez, and I think I can, like, really help him” the adolescent told reporters. “I mean, most of the things he does wrong are pretty basic skills that I mastered by age nine. I’m gonna work with him for an hour each day after I finish my homework. We’ll focus on the simple stuff. Not throwing to the guys on the other team so much, junk like that.”


Reports that the Jacksonville Jaguars were attempting to lure Bradley away from the Jets by offering her a position as their new offensive coordinator could not be confirmed at press time.

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  1. Guy Who Whispers "Toronto"

    September 7, 2014 at 8:22 pm

    *whispers* Toronto

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