Jets Equipment Manager Accidentally Washes Uniforms In Same Load With Red T-Shirt

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Updated: October 16, 2014

FOXBOROUGH, MA – In an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction seen by a nationwide TV audience, the New York Jets took to the field today for their Thursday Night Football game against the New England Patriots wearing their road white uniforms, which had been dyed an unfortunately vivid shade of pink after Jets equipment manager Gus Granneman accidentally included a bright red T-shirt in a load of the team’s laundry, according to giggling eyewitnesses on the scene today.

At least everyone in the stadium is now super fucking aware of breast cancer

At least everyone in the stadium is now super fucking aware of breast cancer.

“Yeah that was my bad,” admitted Granneman. “I was getting ready to wash a big batch of the team’s laundry last night, and there was a little room left over at the top of the basket. So I threw my new shirt in on top of the load, closed the lid, set the dial to ‘spin’ and hit the start button. Well, I guess the shirt wasn’t colorfast, because when I went to transfer the clothes to the dryer, I saw that everything had sort of a bright strawberry tint to it. The jerseys, the pants, the socks, everything. Even Muhammed Wilkerson’s man-kini was pink, although I think it might have been that color to begin with.”

 

Continued Granneman: “On the plus side, they’re pretty eye-catching, so they might make it easier for Geno Smith to find open receivers. I know he needs all the help he can get in that department anyway.”

 

Adding insult to injury, the sheepish equipment manager revealed that the shirt in question was actually an officially licensed, short-sleeved top containing the logo of the Patriots, Granneman’s favorite team.

 

“Yeah, I’m a lifetime Pats fan. Born and raised in Beacon Hill,” he said. “So I apologize to the team for letting my shirt ruin their uniforms. But hey, I guess it’s not the first time that the Patriots have made the Jets look foolish on national TV, right?”

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4 Comments

  1. Xodiac

    October 17, 2014 at 7:12 am

    Given the whole October Breast Cancer Shove It Down Your Face Awareness thing, I thought it was on purpose.

  2. BjfromNJ

    October 17, 2014 at 5:28 am

    There’s a typo- It’s Geno Smith, not Gino

  3. Bill Belichick

    October 16, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    Grumble!

  4. AnonyMOOSE

    October 16, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    what, did Ray Lewis stab them or something?

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