Jamaal Charles Insists New Contract Include Stipulation He Never Has To See Andy Reid Naked In Shower Again

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Updated: July 23, 2014

KANSAS CITY – Superstar running back Jamaal Charles reported to Chiefs training camp Wednesday after ending a brief holdout, the primary sticking point of which was Charles’ insistence that he never again be subjected to the sight of 360 lb. Kansas City head coach Andy Reid naked in the team’s locker room showers, according to sources close to the 7th year player.

Kansas City Chiefs RB Jamaal Charles and head coach Andy Reid

 

“We’re pleased to report that Jamaal’s contract dispute has been resolved to all parties’ satisfaction,” said Chiefs G.M John Dorsey. “As a general rule, our franchise does not renegotiate player contracts mid–term. But in this case, we found Jamaal’s fears of having to shower within eyesight of Coach Reid to be not only reasonable, but also just quite justified, and we were happy to rework his deal to include the necessary clauses.”

 

Added Dorsey: “When I asked Jamaal if he also wanted a higher salary, or additional signing bonus cash, he said, ‘No, I’m just mainly concerned about the shower thing.’”

 

Dorsey told reporters that steps were being taken immediately to adhere to the terms of Charles’ new contract.

 

“Jamaal and the rest of the team will continue to shower in the locker room as they always have,” Dorsey said. “But from now on, Andy will have a special, custom designed pen just outside next to the parking lot, where one of our unpaid interns will scrub him down after each game with this really long brush we bought from the Ringling Brothers people.”

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32 Comments

  1. This article makes me moist

  2. Roger Goodell

    July 28, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    “Everyone”, I’m fining you $1,000,000 and suspending you for 10 games

  3. Jerome Harrison

    July 28, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Goodell, you’re an idiot. You can’t fine players out of the NFL.

  4. Penis Who Whispers "Guy"

    July 28, 2014 at 12:08 am

    *Whispers* Guy

  5. Anonymous

    July 27, 2014 at 10:13 am

    lol the Roethlisburger tag

  6. Everyone

    July 26, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    Yourself?

  7. Roger Goodell

    July 26, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    Fuck you Jerome Harrison! Im fining you an extra $20,000 and suspending you for the whole season! And James Harrison is hereby fined $100,900 and suspended for 10 games. You know what? Fuck you Manziel! Im suspending you for 3 games for your party lifestyle! And Sean Payton is suspended for the whole season as is Andy Reid. And did my ears hear something about bounties? Vacarro is fined $60,000 snd suspended for 6 games. Any of you fuckers left?

  8. Sean Payton

    July 25, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    Go eat a big fat dick, Goodell.

  9. Jerome Harrison

    July 25, 2014 at 2:52 pm

    Fuck you Goodell! You mean James Harrison, former All-Pro LB from the Steelers, not Jerome Harrison, former HB from the Browns…….. (sobs)

  10. Aaron Rodgers

    July 25, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    I like watching guys shower.

  11. Michael Sam

    July 25, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    What you mean prize player Goodell? And i dont mind watching guys shower.

  12. Roger Goodell

    July 25, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    Talking shit about my new prize player? Not on my watch! $500,000 fine and a 2 week suspension to you Dungy! And everyone else involved with that segment is suspended. And a $1,000,000 fine and 6 week suspension to Sean Payton and Jerome Harrison.

  13. Name

    July 25, 2014 at 8:39 am

    I know, I mean I support Michael Sam and I hope he does well in football but he even said “I want to be known as a football player, not a gay football player.” Ironically, the extreme liberals who support gay rights (I also support gay rights but I am more towards the middle of the spectrum) are the same people who don’t respect Michael Sam’s desire to be left alone and treated like a normal football player. Frankly I don’t think that the far right would hate gays so much if the liberals didn’t make it a huge issue. What Dungy said is absolutely correct.

  14. Anonymous

    July 24, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    ^Exactly.

  15. Troy Williams

    July 24, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    For real, though, the Dungy thing is crazy. He said it would be a distraction, and now the media is proving him right by talking constantly about it. And he specifically said Sam deserves to play in the NFL, but he wouldn’t draft him because he wouldn’t want to deal with the idiotic media. I wouldn’t either. If I were Jeff Fisher, I’d tell the reporters “Whenever you’re talking to team members at camp, it’s only to be about football. Michael Sam is a linebacker and that should be the focus regarding him.”

  16. Ed Hochuli

    July 24, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    There aren’t enough penalty flags in the NFL to throw down on that scene.

  17. Ben Roethlesberger

    July 24, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Roethlesberger* ^

  18. That Guy

    July 24, 2014 at 6:26 pm

    Anon is secretly rothlesburger ^

  19. Anonymous

    July 24, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    ^Because the brain dead libtard media took what he said out of context like they always do with everything else you see.

  20. Tony Dungy

    July 24, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    I dissaprove of walruses in the NFL, as their lifestyle isn’t compatible with my Christian beliefs.

  21. Ghost of John Lennon

    July 24, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    I am the Walrus!

  22. Unpaid Intern

    July 24, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    OMG you don’t know how much I suffer! I was expecting to be a water boy or at worst the guy that had to picks up all the sweaty towels and washes them after practice….BUT NOOOOOOOOO. THIS IS THE WORST NON-PAYING JOB IN THE WORLD!!!

  23. Anonymous

    July 24, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    I feel bad for the unpaid intern that has to scrub that big fat walrus.

  24. Josh McCown

    July 24, 2014 at 11:27 am

    Not you Geno! Hash tag dumbass.

  25. Geno Smith

    July 24, 2014 at 11:26 am

    Oh yes! I can’t wait!

  26. Guy Who Whispers "Penis"

    July 24, 2014 at 10:46 am

    *whispers* penis

  27. Aaron Rodgers

    July 24, 2014 at 10:11 am

    SMITH, I WILL TIE YOU DOWN AND HAVE COLIN KAEPERNICK’S TATTOO ARTIST PUT UNICORNS PERMANENTLY UP AND DOWN YOUR ARMS!

  28. Alex Smith

    July 24, 2014 at 9:24 am

    Hey, Rodgers! How about beat my former back-up at least once in the playoff?

  29. Brandon Flowers

    July 24, 2014 at 9:17 am

    Thank God I got out

  30. Ben Roethlisberger

    July 24, 2014 at 3:32 am

    IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE HE’S FAT LIKE AN ELEPHANT AND THEY SCRUB ELEPHANTS DOWN AT THE CIRCUS.

  31. Aaron Rodgers

    July 24, 2014 at 1:34 am

    And still shitty…

  32. Alex Smith

    July 24, 2014 at 12:34 am

    1st!

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