INTERCEPTED TEXT: Peyton Manning And Tom Brady

By
Updated: November 21, 2013

PEYTON BRADY TEXT CONVO 475

Sprint

2:52
75%

PEYTON MANNING

RIVALRY RENEWAL TIME, BRADY!

BRING IT ON, MANNING!

I GET TO ONCE AGAIN SHOW THE WORLD MY DOMINANCE OVER YOU!

You know that I’m 9-4 against you lifetime, right?

You know that in those games, I’ve passed for more yards AND more TDs than you, right?

Wow. Good for you. That’s much better than actually winning the game, I guess.

I WILL PROVE THAT I AM THE SUPERIOR QB BY TEABAGGING MY GIANT BRONCO BALLS RIGHT IN YOUR TEAM’S MOUTH.

WE WILL PROVE THAT WE ARE THE AFC’S SUPREME TEAM BY ASS-PLOWING YOU LIKE A SUPERMODEL ON A FIRST DATE.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. That’s going too far.

Which part?

The “AFC’s supreme team” part.

Win or lose, you have no claim to AFC supremacy. We’re currently two full games ahead of you in the conference standings.

Oh really? Well I’m two full championships ahead of you in the Super Bowl standings.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BRING THAT UP, DON’T YOU?

OH, I’M SORRY. DO MY MULTIPLE SUPER BOWL TITLES HURT YOUR DELICATE, ONE-RING FEELINGS?

I hope you know that I’m on pace to break your record for passing TDs in a single season.

The only record you’re gonna break this weekend is for "Reddest Forehead in the Modern Era" because of how mad you’ll be when we pick you off 5 or 6 times.

Pick ME off? HA. With that patchwork rag of a secondary you have?

You’re right. Maybe we should sign Tracy Porter to play CB. He has a pretty good record against you.

And maybe WE should sign David Tyree to play WR. He’s done some good things against you.

Ben Roethlisberger denied you a trip to the Super Bowl by making a miracle tackle in a playoff game!

Mario Manningham denied YOU a championship by making a miracle catch in the Super Bowl!

RAHIM MOORE!

BERNARD POLLARD!

Hey, maybe you should start a “One Ring Club” with Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson, and Mark Rypien. You’ll fit right in with that bunch!

Oh yeah? Well maybe YOU should start a club for…

THINK OF YOUR OWN JOKES!

YOUR CHIN LOOKS LIKE A BUTT!

YOUR HEAD LOOKS LIKE AN ANVIL!

Oh hey, btw, I’m looking at the current QB stats. Gosh, you only have 14 passing TDs ALL SEASON?!

Wow, that’s pretty piss-poor. I had half that in my first game alone!

Meanwhile I’m looking at the Super Bowl standings, and it says you’ve only won a single Super Bowl in FOURTEEN YEARS?!

That’s pretty crap-tastic. I had double that by my fourth year in the league!

QUIT BRINGING UP YOUR STUPID SUPERBOWL WINS

QUIT LOSING TO CRAPPY TEAMS IN THE PLAYOFFS, AND MAYBE I WILL

Say the guy who lost to Baltimore last year in the playoffs.

YOU ALSO LOST TO BALTIMORE IN THE PLAYOFFS LAST YEAR!

Yeah, but we should have won. A botched coverage robbed us of the victory.

Only losers make excuses, Manning.

Really? Hey, tell me again how you lost to Carolina the other night?

WE SHOULD HAVE WON THAT GAME! THAT BOTCHED CALL BY THE REFS ROBBED US OF THE VICTORY!

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

This is what you’re gonna look like after we whip you on Sunday:

Wrong. WE are gonna beat you so bad, you're probably going to want to hide your face. So you should probably break out this little beauty again:

I don’t take clothing criticism from a man who actually thinks that UGGS are fashionable.

Not only are Uggs fashionable, they also taste about 10 times better than that shitty Papa John's pizza you peddle.

I assume the police caught the perps by following the trail of pepperoni-filled vomit?

Ha-ha. Good one. That deserves a hi-5. OOPS.

Oh, I’ll be collecting six or seven hi-5’s this Sunday. One for each TD I’m gonna toss on your team.

Let’s just hope none of your receivers commit any multiple homicides between now and then.

Funny. Hey, if the game is on the line this weekend, you should definitely throw it to Welker. He never drops a clutch pass in a big game or anything.

Maybe he only drops poorly thrown passes. He seems to do just fine with mine.

To be fair, it’s easy to throw accurate passes when your hands aren't weighted down with a bunch of rings like mine are.

THAT JOKE’S NOT GETTING ANY FRESHER.

AND YOUR HEAD’S NOT GETTING ANY SMALLER.

Maybe my head is swollen because I’m so proud of having the BEST RECORD IN THE AFC.

I’ll bet you’re less proud of the fact that I’ve won three of my past four games against you.

That W-L record of yours goes down a bit if we include the entire Manning family.

Using your little brother to fight your stat battles? Pathetic.

No, think about it: I taught Eli how to throw a football. And he used that knowledge to punk you in a couple of title games.

So in that sense, *I* have actually whipped your ass in two Super Bowls.

And in another, more accurate sense, you have blundered away all the playoffs you’ve ever been in.

I WON THE SUPER BOWL IN ’07.

DOESN’T COUNT. IT WAS AGAINST REX GROSSMAN.

SAYS THE MAN WHO BEAT JAKE DELHOMME FOR A TITLE.

I ALSO BEAT KURT WARNER.

Wow. Impressive. You beat a top notch QB like Kurt Warner? It’s almost like you had some secret illegal film on him or something.

SHUT UP! SPYGATE WAS AN OVERBLOWN BUNCH OF EXAGGEREATED NONSENSE.

FUNNY, THAT’S HOW I THINK OF YOUR PASSING STATS.

THE ONLY THING YOU’LL PASS ON SUNDAY IS A BUNCH OF HAPPY PATS FANS AS YOU HEAD BACK TO THE LOSERS LOCKER ROOM.

I HAVE FOUR PRO BOWL CALIBER RECEIVERS. YOU HAVE NONE

I HAVE THREE SUPER BOWL RINGS. YOU HAVE NONE

YOU CAN’T KEEP USING THE SUPER BOWL JOKE

I CAN’T HELP IT. SOMETHING ABOUT THE SUPER BOWL MAKES ME KEEP GOING THERE AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

YOUR HAIR STILL LOOKS STUPID

YOUR HEAD STILL LOOKS STUPID

EAT SHIT BRADY

SUCK MY BALLS MANNING

Leave a Reply

32 Comments

  1. Pingback: Dit is allemaal niet waar. Maar wel grappig « One Yard Short

  2. Anonymous

    December 18, 2013 at 9:51 am

    this is actually a freaky example of foreshadowing.

  3. Anonymous

    December 3, 2013 at 10:14 am

    Hahahaha welker did end up dropping the pass that could have won the game. Best txt ever!!!!!!

  4. Anonymous

    November 25, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    fn hilarious, luvd it. keep up the good work PFM, f the critics

  5. Anonymous

    November 25, 2013 at 11:38 am

    “Brady says “I have three Super Bowl rings, you have none.”
    it prob meant to say one

  6. Anonymous

    November 25, 2013 at 9:59 am

    “Brady says “I have three Super Bowl rings, you have none.” Who writes this shit?”

    … Peyton already pointed out the flaw in Brady’s statement lol, it’s just a joke dude.

  7. Anonymous

    November 25, 2013 at 7:22 am

    Best. Intercepted. Text. Ever.

  8. Neil

    November 24, 2013 at 9:54 am

    “How is this even a real convo between them? And how was it obtained let alone who the hell refers to someone else by last name when they are talking? It’s as if they’re trying to get you to believe the convo is really them.”

    are you dumb? these are obviously all fake conversations…

  9. Anonymous

    November 23, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    (No credit) ^^

  10. Anonymous

    November 23, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    @Anonymous Brady gives Peyton credit for the 06 championship due to it being against Rex Grossman and playing like ass that postseason. Just part of the troll logic they use on each other.

  11. Anonymous

    November 23, 2013 at 10:03 am

    Brady says “I have three Super Bowl rings, you have none.” Who writes this shit?

  12. King D

    November 23, 2013 at 8:04 am

    @ Josh Hollingsworth : They didnt make the play-offs that year. I thought this one was cool. not the best but made me laugh.

  13. Anonymous

    November 23, 2013 at 12:01 am

    Hilarious! love this. The only thing I noticed is that Brady at one point says to Peyton “I have three super bowl rings you have none” When he mentioned Peyton has one ring (which he does) earlier in the convo.

  14. Anonymous

    November 22, 2013 at 7:03 pm

    Love the throwback to the first NFL QB’s on Facebook!

  15. PFM Staff

    November 22, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    @ Jeffrey A. Coogan: Typo fixed. Thanks for letting us know!

  16. Tyler Penner (@TylerPenner)

    November 22, 2013 at 3:19 pm

    I like how the last line of the conversation is the same as the last line of the very first Facebook conversation… then again, does Brady have anything else he wants Manning to do?

  17. Josh Hollingsworth

    November 22, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    A whole Manning-Brady trash talk sesssion without the most relevant trash talk statistic coming up??? “When you got injured, your backup lead your team to an 11-5 record. When I got injured my team went 2-14.”

  18. Matt

    November 22, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    A manning – brady game is what spawned the QB facebook convos last year! I’ve been living a happier life ever since then. Thank you PFM!

  19. Jeffrey A. Cogan

    November 22, 2013 at 10:44 am

    Your friendly neighborhood grammarian. “Yeah, but we should have win. A botched coverage robbed us of the victory.” should be “Yeah, but we should have won.” Sorry guys.

  20. Mike

    November 22, 2013 at 8:14 am

    They finally updated their intercepted texts to IOS 7!

  21. Anonymous

    November 22, 2013 at 7:32 am

    How is this even a real convo between them? And how was it obtained let alone who the hell refers to someone else by last name when they are talking? It’s as if they’re trying to get you to believe the
    convo is really them.

  22. Anonymous

    November 22, 2013 at 6:44 am

    @Nemo – Peytom Branning is going to be a great pocket passer, but Ruscam Kaeperluck III is going to run circles around him.

  23. Anonymous

    November 22, 2013 at 2:16 am

    Not only is this one funny, but it also pumps you up for the game. I like it, PFM!

  24. Seth

    November 21, 2013 at 11:12 pm

    I’m just hoping for a shootout, got Gronk and Decker starting this week in fantasy

  25. Nemo

    November 21, 2013 at 6:45 pm

    BREAKING NEWS: Brady and Manning decide to create clone using their combined DNA, NFL shits it’s pants as Peytom Manbry is born able to throw ball 123 yds.

  26. Anonymous

    November 21, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    Keep up the good work, all your pieces are hilarious

  27. Anonymous

    November 21, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    I wonder why manning didn’t bring up Bradys fedish for young boys

  28. AJ

    November 21, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    @Neil, it’s because they switched carriers. Sprint is always funnier than AT&T.

    And he’s right, this is the best one in ages.

  29. IFHSS

    November 21, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    Excellent, Manning and the Brocnos will take this one as well. “We should have won*”

  30. Anonymous

    November 21, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    best one yet

  31. Anonymous

    November 21, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    Haha same here. And since they usually carry over to the Facebook ones, that will be all the funnier.

  32. Neil

    November 21, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    i havent enjoyed an intercepted text like this one in a while!

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