Homophobic Houston Texans Refuse to Select Michael Sam With First Overall Draft Pick

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Updated: May 9, 2014

NEW YORK – Scandal marred the first day of the NFL draft Thursday when the Houston Texans, clearly uncomfortable with the notion of a gay man inside their locker room, refused to select Missouri linebacker Michael Sam with the first overall choice in the 2014 NFL draft.

HOUSTON TEXANS REFUSE TO DRAFT MICHAEL SAM

 

“It’s shocking and frankly disgusting that this sort of hostility toward homosexuality still exists in todays’ NFL,” said Sarah Kate Ellis, CEO and President of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). “Houston’s unwillingness to choose an openly gay athlete with the first overall pick of the draft simply confirms what we’ve suspected all along: The Texans are 100% prejudiced against gay people, and Coach Bill O’Brien is obviously a total homophobe.”

 

“Look, we have nothing against Michael Sam. Really we don’t,” said O’Brien, reading from a prepared statement. “His decision to come out as a gay man back in February was a brave and admirable act, and we truly applaud him for his courage and stuff. We’re even considering choosing him with one of our later picks, in rounds five or six maybe. We just, you know, really wanted to choose Jadeveon Clowney in the first round. Not because he happens to be straight. But because he’s a better football player.”

 

Added O’Brien: “Trust us, we even have a gay friend and everything. Seriously, we’re not homophobes.”

 

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell promised swift and decisive disciplinary measures in response to the Texans’ shameful action.

 

“We in the National Football League are 100% committed to a policy of inclusion and tolerance, and I am personally appalled by the Houston Texans’ vicious, hateful decision not to select Michael Sam with the first overall draft choice,” said the commissioner. “As punishment for this despicable move, I am hereby stripping the Texans of a first round draft choice, a fine that is retroactive to this year’s draft. Therefore, Jadeveon Clowney is officially a free agent, and may now negotiate with any NFL team.”

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32 Comments

  1. Pingback: Did The Houston Texans Owner Violate NFL Discrimination Policy By Supporting Anti-HERO Ordinance | About Magazine

  2. aaron rodgers

    June 16, 2014 at 9:17 am

    I AM GOING TO TAKE THIS GUY WHO WHISPERS “PENIS” TO A SOLITARY PLACE SO I CAN TEST THE HANDLE…

  3. Guy Who Whispers "Penis"

    May 11, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    *Whispers* penis

  4. All of you people pretending to be NFL QBs are so talented. Please write more; your talent is so obvious.

  5. Peyton Manning

    May 10, 2014 at 10:32 am

    Wilson, I will get Aquaman to feed you to his shark.

  6. Russell Wilson

    May 10, 2014 at 9:38 am

    Too bad you didn’t win this year

  7. Peyton Goddamn Manning

    May 10, 2014 at 8:02 am

    My FORMER team then got stuck with your brown-nosing noodlearm Luck, Two times a loser

  8. Andrew Luck

    May 10, 2014 at 12:59 am

    With all due respect, Mr. Manning. You should consider a back up. Because your team went 2-14 when you didn’t have a valuable back-up.

  9. Peyton Goddamn Manning

    May 9, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    Denver doesn’t need a Quarterback, they only need to get behind me, although not in an Aaron Rodgers type way

  10. Cecil Lammey

    May 9, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    WHY HASN’T BRETT SMITH BEEN DRAFTED YET?????!!! WHY DIDN’T THE DENVER BRONCOS TAKE BRETT SMITH WITH THEIR FIRST PICK?????!!! HE IS THE BEST QUARTERBACK IN THE DRAFT AND IT IS A CRIME THAT HE DIDN’T GET INVITED TO COMBINE!!!!!!!

  11. Anonymous

    May 9, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    Because John Elway selects players he dosent need to a high contract you see?

  12. John Elway

    May 9, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    Relax, Goodell. I just signed fairy-boy Sam to a 10 year contract for $455 million.

  13. Roger Goodell

    May 9, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    $30,000.00 fine for every team that passes on Michael Sam. Also, $15,000.00 fine on James Harrison because his name doesn’t rhythms.

  14. Donald Sterling

    May 9, 2014 at 11:55 am

    You can add the Redskins to that list. As long as I am minority owner we will never draft Michael Sam. I don’t hate gays in fact I would draft white gay guys if they are great players. I just hate you cause of the color of your skin!

  15. Cam Newton

    May 9, 2014 at 11:28 am

    Oh, oh! What is, “Things Donald Sterling says to black people at Clippers games?”

  16. Tom Brady

    May 9, 2014 at 11:27 am

    Dear God Stafford and Mccown. I’d prefer if you stopped coming here anymore.

  17. Josh Mccown

    May 9, 2014 at 10:54 am

    Hey man thats not how you do it hastag not smart hashtag stupid hashtag realtwitter right hear

  18. Matthew Stafford

    May 9, 2014 at 10:24 am

    Sam Bradford isn’t making sick jokes? #Bradfordchanged #FakeBradford #Imconfused

  19. Sam Bradford

    May 9, 2014 at 7:39 am

    Sounds like a good weekend plan, Jaws. Don’t forget the anal beads!

  20. Ron Jaworski

    May 9, 2014 at 6:16 am

    Jon Gruden, just because you and Johnny Football had that one night in Bangkok, don’t mean you have to continue to have a mancrush on a celebrity quarterback. Now excuse me while I go give a handjob to Bon Jovi while watching the Philadelphia Soul play.

  21. Jon Gruden

    May 9, 2014 at 6:06 am

    All I can see is a bunch of Manziel-mophobes! He should have gone first overall, second overall, third overall, heck every team should have drafted Johnny Football! I love Johnny, he’s so talented, brave, handsome…

  22. Russell Wilson

    May 9, 2014 at 5:42 am

    I know something else that is screwing with your head.

  23. Aaron Rodgers

    May 9, 2014 at 5:41 am

    Wait, I mean, I’m not gay! Like, at all! This draft is really screwing with my head.

  24. Aaron Rodgers

    May 9, 2014 at 5:40 am

    I’M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND, MICHAEL SAM! WE BROKE UP TWO WEEKS AGO!

  25. Michael sam

    May 9, 2014 at 4:03 am

    Sorry i got so excited about playing with my boyfriend i changed my name

  26. Aaron Rodgers

    May 9, 2014 at 4:02 am

    Hey guys dont worry aaron personally called me and said he would force the packers to draft me

  27. Ben Roethlisberger

    May 8, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    BECAUSE HE’S GAY

  28. Tom Brady

    May 8, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    I’m sure Rodgers can tell us how it feels being passed up because of your sexuality.

  29. Jordan Bordles-Brady

    May 8, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    Doesn’t the GM draft the players

  30. Kenneth Smith-Brady

    May 8, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    Holy shit, this is so damn brilliant

  31. Random LGBT activist

    May 8, 2014 at 5:33 pm

    Of course, the fact of he’s only being projected as a 5th-7th round pick only says that the whole NFL media it’s homophobic, racist and bourgeois!

  32. Ben Roethlisberger

    May 8, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE EVERYONE’S AFRAID OF PISSING OFF GLAAD.

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