Guy Running Up Score in Online “Madden” Game Turns Out to be Bill Belichick

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Updated: December 26, 2013

An online “Madden ’25” video game player using the gamertag “HoodieLord6969″ who has been continuously running up the score against his cyber opponents was revealed today to be none other than New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick himself.

Bill Belichick Playing Video Games

Belichick is currently trying to insert a line of code into the game’s files that would allow his avatar to refuse to shake hands with opposing coaches.

 

“Yeah, that ‘HoodieLord’ guy is a total dick,” said Josh Baker, 14, of Oak Grove IL, whose Indianapolis Colts lost to Belichick’s Patriots by a score of 58-3 late Wednesday evening. “Every time I play him, he builds up these massive leads by the start of the fourth quarter. And even when there’s like, thirty seconds left in the game and he’s ahead by four or five touchdowns, he’s still throwing bombs, and trying to get extra TD’s just to run up the score. What an asshole.”

 

“Look, it’s not up to me to stop my digital offense,” said Belichick when informed of the teenager’s comments. “It’s up to Josh to stop my digital offense. If he doesn’t like me passing deep late in the game, all he has to do is press the X button, select my WR icon, then use the D-pad to shade the post route I keep burning his ass with.”

 

In addition to his penchant for driving up the score, other gamers have accused Belichick of specific rules violations.

 

“He’s definitely using cheat codes,” remarked Milwaukee’s Allyson Flynn, 16. “He always seems to know exactly when I have a blitz called, or if I’m setting up a screen to a RB. There’s no doubt he’s running some program that shows him what plays I’m calling. But when I used my headset to tell him that I thought he was a cheating jerk, he just grumbled something about ‘misinterpreting the rulebook.'”

 

Belichick has remained unwilling to address the charges of improper game conduct.

 

“I’m not going to get into any of that. I’m just trying to focus on next week’s game right now,” he said, referring to his upcoming match on Friday against 12-year old Connor Baringer of San Antonio,TX.

Leave a Reply

9 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    February 7, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    And yet he doesn’t want Madden to show in the game what a crook!

  2. Anonymous

    December 27, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    Duh

  3. Anonymous

    December 27, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    these commenters don’t get that this article is satire.

  4. Anonymous

    December 27, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    The kids dont get he’s a fucking NFL coach

  5. Sam

    December 27, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    Cheat codes? Maybe he is just that good. Come on, it is HIS JOB to pick apart the strategy of the other teams and counter. Either way it’s a game and you can always play something else or turn it off if you get mad.

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  7. Mark

    December 26, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    You laugh now, but it IS actually true.

  8. Nemo

    December 26, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Lies! I am HoodieLord6969.

  9. Anonymous

    December 26, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Cheat codes? I always thought Belichick was a screen-peeker.

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