Ghost Of Tom Landry Horrified To See What’s Become Of Cowboys
DALLAS – Looking down from a perch high in the rafters of AT&T stadium, the ghost of Dallas coaching legend Tom Landry watched his former team lose to the San Francisco 49ers 28-17 on Sunday, and was horrified to discover what had become of the once proud franchise.
“My goodness, that team is just awful,” Landry’s shaken spirit said. “They couldn’t cover. They couldn’t tackle. They made silly mental mistakes. And how many times did that quarterback of theirs turn the ball over? Three? Four? It was simply disgraceful.”
Landry, whose soul transitioned to its current ghostly state in February of 2000, told reporters he made a special trip to Texas this weekend in order to watch his former team play.
“I was talking recently with the ghost of Al Davis, and he told me about the struggles the Cowboys have had in the 2000’s. So I decided to see for myself by floating back into town to watch their game today, and I was flabbergasted by how untalented, and poorly coached they seem to be. Just sloppy, sloppy football.”
Added Landry: “I felt like I was watching one of those perennially awful teams like the Seattle Seahawks or the New England Patriots.”
Landry’s ghost said that during the twelve years he’s spent in the Great Beyond, he hasn’t kept track of his former team very closely.
“Well, I’ve kept myself pretty busy honestly,” the deceased coaching legend said. “Most Sundays, I usually just fly out to the country somewhere to play paintball with Lombardi, Halas, and Gibbs.”
When informed that Joe Gibbs wasn’t technically dead, Landry stated, “No, I’m talking about Eddie Gibbs. He’s a plumber from Vancouver who got killed last year by a moose. Jeez, is it okay with you guys if I have some friends who AREN’T coaches?”