Free Agent DeMarcus Ware Looking Forward To Sacking Tony Romo

By
Updated: March 11, 2014

DALLAS – Pro bowl DE DeMarcus Ware, released by the Cowboys in a surprising cap-clearing maneuver at the start of the NFL’s free agency period, told reporters he’s looking forward to continuing his Hall of Fame career in a new city, and greatly looks forward to “one day very soon sacking the living hell out of Tony Romo.”

DeMARCUS WARE WANTS TO SACK COWBOYS TONY ROMO

 

“Understand, I’m not just talking about a gentle, ‘in-the-grasp’ type sack. Hell no, I really want to take his lights out,” Ware told reporters as he carried his duffel bag out of Cowboys headquarters for the last time. “I’m just imagining myself in a Saints uniform, or maybe the Seahawks or Giants, lining up against Dallas in a big game, like on a late season Sunday night contest or something. And on a key third down snap with just a couple of minutes left in the game, I’d put a swim move on (Dallas OT Tyron Smith), burst through the line, and WHAM, I clobber him right in the chest. Just completely annihilate him, and send him flying back ten, twelve yards maybe.”

 

A slightly salivating Ware then added, “Oh man, look at me. I’m sporting a little wood here just thinking about it.”

 

Ware explained that his Romo-sacking  interest began several years ago.

 

“I’d say sacking Tony Romo has been a dream of mine since around January of 2007,” Ware said. “That was the year of that bobbled snap in Seattle, remember? It was my first playoff game, and I was pretty excited that we were about to win and advance to the next round. Until… you know, that snap. I’d say, yeah, that’s when those fantasies began to form pretty strongly in my head.”

 

Asked for more examples of situations that grew his interest in Romo sacking, Ware added, “Well, there was that time he shit the bed against the Vikings in the playoffs, that other time he threw the game-losing pick to the Jets, that meltdown he had last year against Denver, that other meltdown he had last year against Green Bay, that other meltdown… you know guys, I’d love to sit here and list all the times I’ve thought about sacking Tony Romo, but my wife’s gonna have dinner ready in about five hours.”

 

When questioned by reporters if money would be a primary factor in his quest for a new contract, Ware claimed, “No, my criteria for my next team really isn’t about how much cash they have to offer or where in the country they’re located. It basically comes down to how much RSO, or ‘Romo Sacking Opportunities,’ a team is capable of offering me. Right now, the Redskins, Eagles, and Giants certainly have the kind of RSO available to get me interested.”

 

Asked if he would enjoy playing against Romo and the Cowboys in a playoff game, Ware responded, “No, I haven’t really thought about that. I’m trying to keep this fantasy at least somewhat realistic.”

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92 Comments

  1. Drew Brees

    March 25, 2014 at 8:21 am

    I will say this about Tony Romo. He’s more elite than Joe Flacco.

  2. Josh McCown

    March 20, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    They should have a sack Tony Romo day, where every Cowboys defensive player gets to do that. Hash tag then put it on YouTube

  3. nobody important

    March 19, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    Who doesn’t want to sack Romo?

    • Tom Brady

      March 19, 2014 at 4:19 pm

      Eagles, Redskins, and Giants fans.

  4. Sergeant Olivia Benson

    March 18, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Is that a confession ben

  5. Ben Roethlisberger

    March 18, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    ALLEGEDLY

  6. Ben Roethlisberger

    March 18, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    NOW LET ME GO DATE RAPE SOMEBODY

  7. Ben Roethlisberger

    March 18, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    ITS FUNNY BECAUSE MATT STAFFORD THINKS THIS IS TWITTER, YOU SEE

  8. Matt Stafford

    March 18, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    @mrmcown do you really not know how it works #stupid #imbetterthenyou #golions

  9. Josh McCown

    March 18, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    I’ve been named the starter so I get to be in the club. Hash tag starters are starters so nyah

  10. Mike Glennon

    March 17, 2014 at 5:21 am

    He was signed by the Buccaneers to replace whatever shitball QB, wait…

  11. Tom Brady

    March 17, 2014 at 2:32 am

    Get lost McNoWins, these comments are for true starting QBs, not ones who rode Cutlers jock like the rest of us ride his mom

  12. Josh McCown

    March 15, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    Hash tag gottem!

  13. Cam Newton

    March 15, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    Oh, oh, I got this, “Things Cutler’s mom says after sex!”

  14. Jay Cutler

    March 15, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    Whoever it was I don’t really care

  15. Andy Dalton

    March 15, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    Whoever it was its gross

  16. Peyton Manning

    March 15, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    Wilson i will have demarcus ware and von miller beat your head in untill you cant even see the ugly seahawk jerseys

    • Sam Bradford

      March 15, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      You know what else it’s fun as?…

    • Anonymous

      March 15, 2014 at 3:44 pm

      Getting fucked by a horse while cleaning out Goatse Man’s butthole.

    • Sam Bradford

      March 15, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      That was supposed to be me, not Anonymous! He’s stealing our identities

  17. Russell Wilson

    March 15, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    Almost as fun as beating Peyton Manning in a Superbowl

  18. Hunter

    March 15, 2014 at 10:56 am

    Hes right they are fun to do

  19. Anonymous

    March 15, 2014 at 8:33 am

    Enough with fake qb convos. You 15 yr olds aren’t actually funny. Why do all the funny things in life have to be ruined by teenagers.

    • Aidan Williams

      March 15, 2014 at 8:47 am

      They aren’t very funny, but they’re fun to do, try joining in sometime.

  20. Stop the QB posts is a dick

    March 14, 2014 at 1:38 pm

    Stop the QB posts is a dick

  21. Yoda

    March 13, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    Does something right darth anonymous does

  22. Darth Anonymous

    March 13, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    *Smashing time machine and force choking all future and alternate NFL characters*

  23. Aaron Rodgers

    March 13, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Brock Osweiler, I don’t think I have ever heard of you? and Goodell, that is $10 Million more Thompson won’t use

  24. New England Patriots

    March 13, 2014 at 11:33 am

    Hey we got 50 million

  25. Brock Osweiler

    March 13, 2014 at 11:26 am

    Like you do on michael sams dick

  26. Brock Osweilet

    March 13, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Dont worry coach fox said i get the playoffs so peyton cant choke

  27. Aaron Rodgers

    March 13, 2014 at 11:24 am

    Peyton, I am not worried, come the play-offs you will fail, and choke again!

  28. Peyton goddamm manning

    March 13, 2014 at 11:23 am

    Never underestimate the power of payton godamm manning

  29. Aaron Rodgers

    March 13, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Hey guys, besides all this other nonsense, we have a serious issue going on, I think the Broncos are stealing money from somewhere, or how are they signing all these people!?!?

    • Roger Goodell

      March 13, 2014 at 11:26 am

      I have decided to give every team in the NFL a $10 million cap increase

  30. Stacy Kiebler

    March 13, 2014 at 10:48 am

    So you need to leave that cold fish Gisele, marry me and so that we can have lots more Tommy babies together.

  31. Tom Brady

    March 13, 2014 at 6:59 am

    Shit

  32. Stacy Kiebler

    March 13, 2014 at 5:00 am

    Tom? Why won’t you answer my calls/texts/emails? We made love. You told me you loved me while you fucked me so hard for 2 days!!! That was 31 days ago and NOTHING!!!! Tom, I have something very important to tell you. I’m pregnant, with OUR love child.

  33. Stop the QB Posts

    March 12, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    Will the f’er who thinks he can write for PFM’s QB FB convo’s please shut up? Seriously. If you want to write for them so bad, get a job. Or screw off. Either would be fine.

  34. Tony Romo

    March 12, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    YES! I wont have to play ware for 4 years!

  35. Philip Rivers

    March 12, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    IFHSS? One of those dicks who interrupts the comment convos? By the way, I never argeed to that contract, DeMarcus.

  36. IFHSS

    March 12, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Now all the broncos need is to get a QB that won’t choke. LETS GO DENVER!!!

  37. Joe

    March 12, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Broncos are starting to turn into the Yankees of the NFL. There so desperate that they are practically “buying” a championship.

  38. Demarcus Ware

    March 12, 2014 at 11:50 am

    Channing Bitches! Just signed a 3 year 30 million dollar contract to shut up Philip Rivers. Go Broncos

  39. Philip Rivers

    March 12, 2014 at 10:40 am

    Aqib Talib? Free agent CB that’s now a Bronco?

  40. Aqib Talib

    March 12, 2014 at 10:38 am

    You know what I’ll enjoy? Intercepting Tom Brady. Get ready Brady cause I’m going to have a pick 6 next time I play you!

  41. Demarcus Ware

    March 12, 2014 at 10:20 am

    I’ll enjoy giving Romo a career ending injury for sure!

  42. Jerry Jones

    March 12, 2014 at 10:16 am

    I’m the smartest gm in the world releasing my best player and over paying a qb that chokes. And don’t worry Romo you can be the starting qb for another 4 years until Ware gives you a career ending injury.

  43. Tom Brady

    March 12, 2014 at 10:13 am

    That’s if your even a starting qb for the Cowboys for that long Romo.

  44. Tony Romo

    March 12, 2014 at 10:10 am

    Oh god no I’m sorry Demarcus Ware please go to the Broncos. Since we just played them I won’t have to face you for 4 years!

  45. Matt Ryan from the a

    March 12, 2014 at 7:38 am

    Vomit ugh your disgusting Smith

  46. Alex Smith from alternate universe

    March 12, 2014 at 4:35 am

    A tie is NOT* like kissing your sister. You see, a tie is more like brushing your teeth using your brother’s hairy penis covered in your mom’s period, then gargling it out with a shot of your uncle’s ballsweat and pouring it onto your hang nail.

  47. Ben Roethlisberger from alternate universe

    March 12, 2014 at 4:29 am

    No, but Alex Smith is. After the tie between the rams and 49ers, Alex Smith went up to his sister in the crowd and French-kissed her

  48. RG3

    March 12, 2014 at 4:26 am

    Wait, so Bradford is not a twisted freak pervert in your universe?

  49. Sam Bradford from alternate universe

    March 12, 2014 at 4:25 am

    OMG THAT IS SO DISGUSTING! VOMITS*

  50. Sam Bradford

    March 11, 2014 at 10:48 pm

    They say it’s like watching your grandfather get ass fucked by an elephant while also watching your dead grandma engaging in bestiality with a lizard.

  51. Sam Bradford

    March 11, 2014 at 10:45 pm

    You know what they say about alternate universes

  52. Alex Smith

    March 11, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    Which one of them

  53. Tom Brady

    March 11, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    See Fucko look what youve done

  54. Yoda

    March 11, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Fix world i must destroy darth anonymous and alternate universe will i

  55. Darth Anonymous

    March 11, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    Oh, how I love all this chaos I created. *evil laugh*

  56. Matt Hasselback from another universe

    March 11, 2014 at 5:55 pm

    NO ITS FUNNY BECAUSE IN OUR UNIVERSE SHES JUST DATING JOE FLACCO WHILE TOM BRADYS DATING A FAT UGLY CHICK

  57. Ryan Fitzpatrick from another Universe

    March 11, 2014 at 5:50 pm

    IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE IN OUR UNIVERSE GISELE IS A FAT UGLY CHICK WITH CRANIODIAPHYSEAL DYSPLASIA WHILE IN YOUR UNIVERSE SHE IS A SMOKESHOW SUPERMODEL.

  58. Gisele Bünchden from an alternate universe

    March 11, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    Come back to bed joe you elite superbowl winning hunk of big dick stop talking to that loser

  59. Joe Flacco from another Universe

    March 11, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    Tom Brady, only elite quarterbacks are allowed to visit other Universes. Go back home and masterbate to the thought of me banging your troll of a girlfriend for lolz.

  60. No one ever

    March 11, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    Romo is actually worth his contract and is a decent QB

  61. Skrillex

    March 11, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    Romo YOU CAN EAT SHIT AND FUCKING DIE

  62. Manny Ramirez

    March 11, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    *snaps ball

  63. Colin Kaepernicking

    March 11, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    Go fins woooo

  64. James Harrison

    March 11, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Yeah And make him Pay back all my fine because he’s an asshole. Also Make Shure my Boys down Miami are in top level contracts next year.

  65. Patrick Star

    March 11, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    Hey lets take our roger goodell and push him somewhere else

  66. Every NFL players and fans in the world

    March 11, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  67. Roger Goodell from an Alternate Universe

    March 11, 2014 at 3:49 pm

    And thus, we attracted more and more fans than ever before. That resulted in higher league profits, and base salary went up to 1 billion at the minimum. Last season, Brandon Weeden alone made 3 trillion dollars. Not to mention the NFL fans are happier than ever, too

  68. Roger Goodell from an Alternate Universe

    March 11, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    No, that is the league’s minimum salary in our universe. You see, I wanted to let football be an actual manly, tough, and hard-nosed sports, so I did not pass any of the rules regarding physical contact of any means.

  69. Roger Goodell

    March 11, 2014 at 3:45 pm

    Wait, 1 billion dollars? That is more than the NFL’s value!

  70. Roger Goodell from an Alternate Universe

    March 11, 2014 at 3:44 pm

    DAMMIT MATT, I TOLD YOU NOT* TO USE THAT TIME MACHINE! YOU ARE COMING WITH ME BACK TO OUR UNIVERSE, AND FOR VIOLATING THE LEAGUE’S POLICY YOU ARE FINED 1 BILLION DOLLARS!

  71. Matt Hasselbeck from an Alternate Universe

    March 11, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    WHY AM I TYPING IN #allcaps

  72. Tom Brady from an Alternate Universe

    March 11, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    Hasselbeck! Your job is to explain the jokes, not to ask questions.

  73. Matt Hasselbeck from an Alternate Universe

    March 11, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    ITS FUNNY BECAUSE KAEPERNICK IS A DOLPHINS FAN. HEY WAIT IF IM FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE THEN WHY DOES IT SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE ACTUALLY THE ONES FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE TO ME. im confuzed

  74. Jim Harbaugh

    March 11, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    Umm, Colin? You do realize that you are the starting QB for the Sanfrancisco 49ers right? If you really want that elite-level contract, you have to possess the heart to play for this team

  75. Colin Kaepernick

    March 11, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    THE FUCK YOU CAN. I LOVE DOLPHINS AND THEY WILL ALWAYS BE #1 IN MY HEART

  76. Blaine Gabbert

    March 11, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    Who changed my name to york

  77. Blaine York

    March 11, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    Can i play against the dolphins kap

  78. Colin Kaepernick

    March 11, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Gabbert, the only thing you will be a part of is holding my clipboard and warming up my spot on the bench during December games.

  79. Jed York

    March 11, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    You know youll be like 3rd stringer right kid

  80. Blaine Gabbert

    March 11, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    Im so happy to be finally part of a winning franchise.

  81. Dan Fouts

    March 11, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    Terry Bradshaw? NFL Hall of Hame QB and 4 time Super Bowl champion for the Pittsburgh Steelers

  82. Terry Bradshaw

    March 11, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    NO ITS FUNNY BECAUSE IFHSS IS SICK AND TIRED OF WEEKLY QB CHATS

  83. Ben Roethlisberger

    March 11, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    BECAUSE IFHSS THINKS PEOPLE IMITATING THE WEEKLY QB CHATS ARE REALLY NOT THAT FUNNY.

  84. IFHSS

    March 11, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    Wow these ppl trying to be funny are STILL here…

  85. Ben Roethlisburger

    March 11, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    ITS FUNNY BECAUSE DEMARCUS WARE SREWED BY TONY ROMO

  86. Anonymous

    March 11, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    Come to the giants we play them in week 17

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