NFL QBs ON FACEBOOK: HALL OF FAME EDITION

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Updated: August 5, 2013

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PEYTON MANNING

THE NFL PRESEASON HAS BEGUN, BITCHES!!!

Every NFL Fan in the Entire Universe likes this

TONY ROMO

And I kicked off the preseason in style by KICKING RYAN TANNEHILL’S ASS IN THE HALL OF FAME GAME.

RYAN TANNEHILL

What? I only threw 5 passes in that stupid game.

TONY ROMO

That’s all it took for you to lose, apparently.

RYAN TANNEHILL

YOU DIDN’T EVEN PLAY IN THE GAME ROMO!

ELI MANNING

No wonder Dallas was able to win.

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Your Cowboys just got lucky Romo. DOLPHINS RULE, WHOOOOO.

DREW BREES

So, umm…. what are we gonna talk about? There’s only been one preseason game. Not much else is going on.

BILL PARCELLS

Well I know what I want to talk about.

PHILIP RIVERS

Newly enshrined Hall of Fame coach Bill Parcells?

TONY ROMO

Congratulations on your well-deserved honor, Coach.

BILL PARCELLS

STICK YOUR COMPLIMENTS UP YOUR OVERPAID ASS, ROMO.

BILL PARCELLS

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR RUINING THE END OF MY CAREER!

TONY ROMO

Oh. I guess you’re talking about the time I dropped that snap in Seattle, huh?

BILL PARCELLS

No genius. I’m talking about one of your 500 other game-losing meltdowns.

MATT SCHAUB

I honestly can’t tell if that’s sarcasm or not.

TROY AIKMAN

What’s this? Someone is criticizing Tony Romo? NOT ON MY WATCH.

PHILIP RIVERS

Troy Aikman? Three time Super Bowl champion and 2006 Hall of Fame inductee?

CAM NEWTON

And professional Tony Romo ball washer.

TROY AIKMAN

TONY ROMO IS A BLAMELESS, HOLY CREATURE WHO HAS NEVER MADE A SINGLE MISTAKE IN HIS ENTIRE BEAUTIFUL LIFE!

BILL PARCELLS

YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN ANNOUNCEHOLE, AIKMAN!

BILL PARCELLS

TONY ROMO DESTROYED MY LAST SHOT AT A SUPER BOWL BY SCREWING UP A PLAY SO SIMPLE A BRAIN-DAMAGED BABOON COULD HAVE CAUGHT IT

DREW BREES

He's right. Jay Cutler WOULD have caught that snap.

BRETT FAVRE

LEAVE TONY ROMO ALONE!

PHILIP RIVERS

Brett Favre? Celebrated QB for the Falcons, Jets, and Vikings?

MATT RYAN

He also played for the Packers at one point.

BRETT FAVRE

There is nothing wrong with a talented gunslinger who occasionally throws season ending interceptions.

Peyton Manning likes this

AARON RODGERS

GET OUT OF HERE FAVRE. NO ONE WANTS YOUR GRIZZLED, GREY BALLSACK AROUND HERE.

BRETT FAVRE

NO, YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK TO THE BENCH, RODGERS. THIS HERE CONVO IS FOR CLASSIC QBs THIS WEEK.

TOM BRADY

So uh, whatcha been up to Favre?

ANDY DALTON

Throwin’ picks and textin’ dicks, probably.

BRETT FAVRE

Oh fer fuck’s sake. Would you let that go already? I texted ONE dick-pic during my career. JUST ONE.

ANTHONY WEINER

Amateur.

TERRY BRADSHAW

IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE ANTHONY WEINER TEXTED PHOTOS OF HIS PENIS A BUNCH OF TIMES.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Hey. I was just gonna say that!

BRETT FAVRE

Okay, I’ve said my peace. I’m quitting this convo. See ya, swamp nuggets.

AARON RODGERS

Good riddance.

PEYTON MANNING

Hey, um, guys? Remember us? The CURRENT NFL QBs?

DREW BREES

We never gave you old bastards permission to come in and hog our Facebook convo.

JOE MONTANA

You mean the way that I HOGGED ALL THE SUPER BOWL WINS IN THE 80’s? HAHAHAHAHA!

PHILIP RIVERS

Hall of Fame QB Joe Montana?

JOE MONTANA

You forgot, “four-time champion, three-time MVP, and 49ers LEGEND” Joe Montana.

STEVE YOUNG

Until they replaced you with your younger, more handsome, more talented backup.

JOE MONTANA

SHUT YOUR WORTHLESS MOUTH STEVE YOUNG YOU PUBIC-HAIRED GENITAL WART OF A MAN. I’M THE ONLY 49ers QB THAT BELONGS IN A “CLASSIC” CONVO!

STEVE YOUNG

I’M GETTIN’ REAL TIRED OF YOUR SHIT, JOE MONTANA. I WAS AS GREAT OF A NINERS QB AS YOU EVER WERE.

JOE MONTANA

THOSE NINE RINGLESS FINGERS OF YOURS SAY OTHERWISE, SHITCORK.

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Does anyone know who either one of those two idiots are?

ELI MANNING

They’re both classic QB’s who had legendary careers for your team. You know. The San Francisco 49ers?

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Huh. Not ringing any bells. GO DOLPHINS!!!

TERRY BRADSHAW

IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE COLIN KAEPERNICK IS A MIAMI FAN.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

NO, IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE COLIN KAEPERNICK KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT HIS OWN TEAM’S HISTORY.

JOE MONTANA

Eat SHIT, Steve Young. Everyone knows you have to win multiple Super Bowls to be considered a classic QB, so you can suck my four-time championship balls.

TROY AIKMAN

Me and my three rings support this notion.

JOHN ELWAY

Two rings here. RIGHT ON, BROTHERS.

KURT WARNER

Just one ring here, but it sure feels classic to me!

DAN MARINO

Ummm….

TROY AIKMAN

HAHAHAHAHAHA DAN MARINO NEVER WON A CHAMPIONSHIP.

BRAD JOHNSON

SUCKS TO BE YOU MARINO. Boy, I sure do love my Super Bowl ring.

JIM McMAHON

Me too!

DOUG WILLIAMS

Me too!

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Me too!

ROBERT KRAFT

Motherfucker.

BRETT FAVRE

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with only having one ring!

AARON RODGERS

Goddammit. YOU SAID YOU WERE QUITTING THE CONVO, FAVRE.

BRETT FAVRE

I changed my mind. I’M BACK!

ESPN, Peter King, and John Madden just creamed their pants reading this

DAN MARINO

FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK ALL OF YOU.

DAN MARINO

I WAS THE NFL’S RECORD HOLDER FOR TD’S AND CAREER PASSING YARDAGE.

BRETT FAVRE

Key word: “Was.”

BRETT FAVRE

Now I own all your records, along with a bright, shiny Super Bowl championship ring on my hand.

BRETT FAVRE

All you have in your hand is that pathetic needle-dick that you jerk on every night until it dribbles out a sad little mixture of semen and failure.

SAM BRADFORD

We call that a “Cutler Cocktail.”

JOE NAMATH

Did someone say “cocktails?”

BRETT FAVRE

Okay, now I really am quitting. SMELL YA LATER, BITCHES.

AARON RODGERS

AND STAY OUT, YOU WRINKLED OLD PILL POPPER.

STEVE YOUNG

Listen, Marino. There’s absolutely NO shame in having only one Super Bowl win.

Drew Brees, Kurt Warner, and Peyton Manning agree with this

DAN MARINO

Yes, but I didn’t win any.

STEVE YOUNG

I know. I was talking about me. You, on the other hand, should feel a SHITLOAD of shame. HAHAHAHA.

TERRY BRADSHAW

HE’S SAYING THAT DAN MARINO SUCKS BECAUSE HE ONLY PLAYED IN ONE SUPER BOWL.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

NO YOU IDIOT, HE’S SAYING THAT DAN MARINO SUCKS BECAUSE HE NEVER WON A SUPER BOWL

DREW BREES

Uh-oh. Looks like we got us an old fashioned, “Joke Explain-Off.”

BEN ROETHSBERGER

SHUT UP TERRY BRADSHAW. NO ONE EXPLAINS JOKES BUT ME.

TERRY BRADSHAW

THIS IS A CLASSIC QB CONVO. I’M THE ONE EXPLAINING JOKES NOW.

NEIL O’DONNELL

IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE ALL STEELERS QBs ARE MORONS.

LARRY BROWN

I can verify that.

JOE MONTANA

Well you should feel shame, Steve Young. All you have to show for your miserable NFL career is one sad little Super Bowl ring and the title of, “Concussion King.”

TROY AIKMAN

Hey! I was the king of concussions.

STEVE YOUNG

No I was the king of concussions!

TROY AIKMAN

Oh yeah? Well how many did you have?

STEVE YOUNG

How many what?

TROY AIKMAN

Concussions.

STEVE YOUNG

What about them?

TROY AIKMAN

How many did you have?

STEVE YOUNG

How many what did I have?

TROY AIKMAN

CONCUSSIONS!

STEVE YOUNG

I can’t remember. Because I had so many.

TROY AIKMAN

You had so many what?

STEVE YOUNG

Concussions.

TROY AIKMAN

What about them?

ABBOT AND COSTELLO’S GHOSTS

ENOUGH, ALREADY. WE GET IT.

RGIII

Cool it, you guys. Concussions are no laughing matter.

RGIII

And neither are knee injuries.

RGIII

And neither are concussions.

RILEY COOPER

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, ROBERT GRIFFIN. WE DON’T LIKE YOUR TYPE AROUND HERE.

DREW BREES

Whoa whoa WHOA. That is NOT cool.

ANDY DALTON

Seriously, Cooper? Like you’re not in enough trouble already?

RILEY COOPER

What? I’m just saying that this conversation is supposed to be for Hall of Fame QB’s only.

RILEY COOPER

AND I’LL FIGHT EVERY "NHOFFER" IN HERE.

MATT SCHAUB

“Nhoffer?”

RILEY COOPER

Non Hall of Famer.

MATT SCHAUB

Of course.

WARREN MOON

Riley Cooper, how’d you like MY Hall of Fame FOOT up your racist ASS?

WARREN MOON

Maybe you should spend more time trying to be open-minded, and less time injuring yourself by slipping on a rubber mat like a dumbfuck.

RILEY COOPER

That wasn’t me. That was Kevin Kolb in Buffalo.

WARREN MOON

Really? Huh. All you crappy white players look alike to me.

JOE FLACCO

Hello? CURRENT Super Bowl champion QB here? Maybe I could get a word in?

JOHN ELWAY

SHUT YOUR MONOBROWED MOUTH FLACCO. THIS IS A CLASSIC QB CONVO.

JOHN ELWAY

When it’s time for a “marginally talented QB who lucked into a Super Bowl win” convo, we’ll let you know.

TRENT DILFER

Can I get on that mailing list too?

ROGER STAUBACH

Fellas, fellas. Can’t we just agree that the Lord loves all QBs, classic or otherwise?

Tim Tebow likes this

JOE MONTANA

PISS OFF, STAUBACH. You may have won two Super Bowls, but you still lost three other ones. I can’t think of anything more pathetic than that!

JIM KELLY

(Sob)

JOE NAMATH

Did someone say “have a vodka?”

TROY AIKMAN

No Namath, no one said “ have a vodka.”

JOE NAMATH

DON’T MIND IF I DO.

JOE NAMATH

(Hiccup)

PEYTON MANNING

I’m really getting sick of these geriatric attention whores monopolizing our convo.

BRETT FAVRE

I’M BACK!

AARON RODGERS

STOP DOING THAT!

BRETT FAVRE

LOL JK I’M QUITTING.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE RETIRED THAN UNRETIRED WITH THE PACKERS.

TERRY BRADSHAW

NO IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE RETIRED THAN UNRETIRED WITH THE VIKINGS.

JOE FLACCO

Listening to Bradshaw and Roethlisberger is like watching two circus gorillas debate quantum physics.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

TERRY BRADSHAW, YOU’RE SO DUMB YOU COULDN’T SPELL CAT IF THEY SPOTTED YOU THE “K” AND THE “A.”

TERRY BRADSHAW

JUST REMEMBER BEN ROETHLISBERGER: I STILL LEAD YOU IN SUPER BOWL WINS 4-2.

RGIII

To be fair, Roethlisberger still leads you in alleged rapes 2-0.

JOE NAMATH

(hiccup)

JOE NAMATH

(passes out in pool of vomit on floor)

DONOVAN McNABB

Well, I’m sure you guys saw that I officially retired as a Philadelphia Eagle this week.

DONOVAN McNABB

Which means I’ll be joining all of you Classic QB's in the Hall of Fame in just 5 short years!

JOHN ELWAY

YOU?! IN THE HALL OF FAME?!

STEVE YOUNG

HAHAHAHAHA

TROY AIKMAN

LOLOLOLOLOL!

RILEY COOPER

NHOFFER, PLEASE!

JOE MONTANA

McNabb, The only way you’ll ever get into the Hall of Fame is if you get hired there to sweep up the floors after closing.

JOHN ELWAY

And you just know he’ll get tired and puke half way through his shift each night.

ELI MANNING

Well, this sure was stupid.

ANDY DALTON

Seriously. It was just a bunch of quarterbacks making dick jokes and using swear words like a 14-year old. Who the hell wants to read THAT?

JAY CUTLER

Hopefully, us regular QBs will get some more lines next week.

TOM BRADY

Don't worry, Cutler. This Friday is your first preseason game, and you’ll probably play about two series.

TOM BRADY

So yeah, I guess we can discuss both your turnovers then.

BRETT FAVRE

I’M BACK!

AARON RODGERS

Fuck me.

BRETT FAVRE

SO WHO WANTS A DICK PIC? HUH? YOU? HOW ‘BOUT YOU?

BRETT FAVRE

FUCK IT. DICK PICS ALL AROUND.

AARON RODGERS

I hate you, Brett Favre. I hate you so very, very much. I can’t think of one human being I despise more in this world.

RUSSELL WILSON

'Sup?

AARON RODGERS

I WILL ENCASE YOUR HEAD IN MOLTEN BRONZE, TEAR IT FROM YOUR SHOULDERS, AND MAKE YOU THE INAUGURAL BUST IN MY OWN PERSONAL "HALL-OF-FUCK-YOU," WILSON!

Matt Flynn likes this

NFL QBs ON FACEBOOK: HALL OF FAME EDITION

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3 Comments

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    August 28, 2014 at 5:19 am

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  2. Anonymous

    June 6, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    Throwing pics and texting ducks lmao

  3. Anonymous

    April 15, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Money

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