NFL QBs ON FACEBOOK: AND THEY’RE OFF

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Updated: September 9, 2013

NFL QBs ON FACEBOOK header image for posts 400w

PEYTON MANNING

So, how did you ladies spend your first game of the 2013 season?

PEYTON MANNING

Because I spent mine wiping my ass with Baltimore’s toilet paper defense FOR 7 BIG FAT TDs!!!! WHOOOO!!!

The Guy You Were Probably Playing in Fantasy Football This Week likes this

JOE FLACCO

Son of a BITCH!

PEYTON MANNING

I TOLD you Flacco! Didn’t I tell you that the home team almost always wins the season opener?

JOE FLACCO

YES, BUT WE SHOUL HAVE BEEN THE HOME TEAM!!!!

PEYTON MANNING

Sorry, can’t hear you over the sound of me NOT GIVING A FUCK. HAHAHAHA.

JOE FLACCO

IT WASN’T MY FAULT! MY RECEIVERS KEPT ROPPING MY PASSES!

PEYTON MANNING

Oh Flacco. You know how they say, “it’s a poor carpenter that blames his tools?”

PEYTON MANNING

Well I prefer, “it’s a poor carpenter who drafts Joe Flacco in his fantasy league, because Joe Flacco throws like a right-handed 8-year old girl using her left hand.” HAHAHAHAHA

JOE FLACCO

SUCK MY ICK, MANNING!

JAY CUTLER

What the hell’s wrong with your replies, Flacco?

MATT SCHAUB

Oh I get it. It’s because his “D” is malfunctioning.

JOE FLACCO'S WIFE

I can confirm this.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

You see, it’s funny because it’s a reference to both the crappy Baltimore defense, and Joe Flacco’s impotence.

ANDY DALTON

So should we rename Joe Flacco, “Joe Flaccid?”

CARSON PALMER

Isn’t that too “on-the-nose?”

CAM NEWTON

Or maybe it’s too “on-the-dick?”

JOE FLACCO'S WIFE

At least someone’s on the dick.

TOM BRADY

Come on over to my mansion this week, Joe Flacco’s wife. You can see my ONE-AND-OH FACE.

E. J. MANUEL

For your information Brady, we ALMOST beat you. And you really didn’t play all that great.

TOM BRADY

Rookie, for YOUR information, there are only two things that I am not great at:

TOM BRADY

1. Not being handsome

TOM BRADY

2. Not being AWESOME.

BUFFALO BILLS FANS

Fuck this. When does hockey season start?

TOM BRADY

I mean, I’d have to be a completely pathetic failure to lose a game in the closing seconds to a rookie QB. Who could possibly do that anyway?

CLOCK

Ticks

CRICKETS

Chirp

TUMBLEWEEDS

Roll by

PHILIP RIVERS

Uh, Josh Freeman? That was your cue to say “Sup”

JOSH FREEMAN

The fuck it is. I AM NOT THE REASON MY BUCS LOST TO THE STUPID JETS YESTERDAY.

LAVONTE DAVID

‘Sup?

LAVONTE DAVID

(shoves Joe Flacco)

JOE FLACCO

HEY! What are your pushing me for? I stepped out of this convo a whole page ago.

LAVONTE DAVID

That’s just how I roll, baby.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

It’s funny because Lavonte David shoved Geno Smith out of bounds and gave the Jets a free shot at a last second field goal.

JOSH FREEMAN

GODDAMMIT! We were so close to winning that game. SO CLOSE!

TONY ROMO

Freeman, the way you let those guys come from behind like that, I almost mistook you for Cutler’s Mom.

JAY CUTLER

LEAVE MY MOM OUT OF THIS!

MICHAEL VICK

Said no orgy organizer, ever.

GENO SMITH

That game was AWESOME. GENO SMITH FOR THE LAST SECOND WIN, BABY.

TOM BRADY

Enjoy it rooktard. Because THIS week you get to taste the fury of a TOM BRADY BOSTON TEABAGGING.

TOM BRADY

Man, what a great schedule. E.J. Manuel and Geno Smith twice each this season? IT'S LIKE I PLAY AGAINST BUMBLING ROOKIES ALL YEAR!

MATT RYAN

Hey Butt-Chin, you play me in week 4. And I'M no rookie.

DREW BREES

Really? Because you SURE PLAYED LIKE ONE YESTERDAY. HAHAHAHAHA

MATT RYAN

Goddammitt.

DREW BREES

Hey Ryan, remember how you gave me shit because of the interceptions I threw in last year’s game?

DREW BREES

LOOKS LIKE THE FAIL’S ON THE OTHER FOOT NOW, ISN”T IT?

MATT RYAN

SHUT UP. I only threw one interception.

DREW BREES

That’s right. Just one little old, GAME LOSING INTERCEPTION INTO THE END ZONE AS TIME EXPIRED TO LET DOWN YOUR ENTIRE TEAM. LOLOLOL.

TOM BRADY

You went full Romo, Ryan. You should never go full Romo.

DREW BREES

Oh Ryan, a classic interception like that deserves a great name.

DREW BREES

How about “The Fourth Quarter Falcon Fail?”

CAM NEWTON

That’s a terrible name. It’s not catchy at all

DREW BREES

No, it’s the perfect name because HIS THROW WASN’T CATCHY EITHER. HAHAHAHA.

TONY GONZALEZ

MATT RYAN YOU BONY LITTLE WEASEL-FACED TURD!

MATT RYAN

Hey Tony. Tough loss yesterday, huh?

TONY GONZALEZ

Don’t you “Tony” me you clogged dick vein of a man. I CAME BACK FOR ONE LAST YEAR TO WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP, AND YOU’RE ALREADY FUCKING IT UP.

TONY GONZALEZ

AFTER ALL THE PRO-BOWL YEARS I WASTED PLAYING FOR CRAP TEAMS, YOU DAMN WELL BETTER GET ME TO THE SUPER BOWL!

Steven Jackson likes this

PEYTON MANNING

HEY FUN FACT YOU GUYS: I ALREADY HAVE ONLY 1 LESS PASSING TD THIS YEAR THAN THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS HAD ALL OF LAST SEASON

MATT SCHAUB

Wow, that is surprising. The Kansas City Chiefs scored a touchdown last season?

ANDY DALTON

Geez Alex Smith, your Chiefs were PITIFUL last year.

ALEX SMITH

I WASN’T EVEN ON THE CHIEFS LAST YEAR!

COLIN KAEPERNICK

And yet you are now. How’d that happen again?

ALEX SMITH

EAT SQUIRREL SHIT, KAEPERNICK! I THREW TWO TDS YESTERDAY AND WE WON THE GAME

TOM BRADY

Yeah, against Jacksonville. That’s about as easy as scheduling a game of kickball against the J.V. squad of the local Amputee Academy.

TOM BRADY

And then they don’t show up, so you play Jacksonville instead.

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Meantime, I made Aaron Rodgers and the Packers my personal bitch. YET AGAIN.

AARON RODGERS

STICK YOUR DICK IN A TOASTER, KAEPERNICK!

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Last season, I had 181 yards rushing during the NFC Championship game, and yesterday I had 412 YARDS PASSING WITH 3 TDs!

CAM NEWTON

You memorized all your stats?

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Nope. GOT ‘EM TATTOO’ED ON MY COCK.

COLIN KAEPERNICK

And there was still room left over to add “Official Packer Smacker” up near the tip.

AARON RODGERS

ARGGGGGHHH! I HATE SCRAMBLING QUARTERBACKS FROM THE NFC WEST!

AARON RODGERS

IF I COUD HAVE JUST THROWN A TD PASS IN THE 4th QUARTER WE WOULD HAVE WON

RUSSELL WILSON

You mean, the way I did?

AARON RODGERS

WILSON, I WILL STRAP YOU AND COLIN KAEPERNICK EACH TO A CHAIR, PRY YOUR EYES OPEN “CLOCKWORK ORANGE” STYLE, AND FORCE YOU TO WATCH THAT ANNOYING MADDEN COMMERCIAL YOU TWO MADE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU’RE DRIVEN INSANE FROM IT’S IDIOCY!

PHILIP RIVERS

So you’re gonna make ‘em watch it twice?

ADRIAN PETERSON

All you gas-passers better recognize that I had a 78 YARD TOUCHDOWN RUN ON MY FIRST PLAY FROM SCRIMMAGE! WHOOOO.

ADRIAN PETERSON

THIS YEAR, I’M SETTING THAT SINGLE SEASON RUSHING RECORD FOR SURE. YEAH BOI!

LESLIE FRAZIER

Adrian, you do realize that we lost the game right?

ADRIAN PETERSON

Did we? Huh. I don’t usually check the final score until, like, Tuesday or Wednesday.

LESLIE FRAZIER

You’re an amazing talent Adrian. But I really wish you’d focus more on team victories and less on individual records.

ADRIAN PETERSON

I’ll focus more on team victories if you do.

LESLIE FRAZIER

What’s that supposed to mean?

ADRIAN PETERSON

Who do you start as our QB again?

LESLIE FRAZIER

Christian somebody or other.

ADRIAN PETERSON

Exactly.

DREW BREES

Peterson, you’re not even the league leader in rushing.

DREW BREES

THAT distinction belongs to some RB named Terrelle Pryor of Oakland

TERRELLE PRYOR

I’m a QB actually.

DREW BREES

I’ve seen you throw. I disagree.

ANDREW LUCK

Congratulations on an excellent first start, Terrelle. You may have lost the game, but you proved that you have a bright future in this league

ANDY DALTON

Luck, if your nose was any more brown, it would be moving to Baltimore.

MATT FLYNN

TERRELLE PRYOR, YOU JOB STEALING, TURD-JUGGLING THUNDERCUNT. THAT STARTING QB SPOT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE!

CARSON PALMER

Get over it Flynn. He earned that job. You’re nothing more than a terrible QB.

CARSON PALMER

He’s a terrible QB who can run.

TERRELLE PRYOR

Man, I love taking a job away from an inferior talent

CARRIE UNDERWOOD

Tell me about it.

FAITH HILL

Bitch, I will CUT YOU.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

It’s funny because Carrie Underwood stole Faith Hill’s singing job on Sunday Night Football, you see.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Sigh.

CAM NEWTON

Ben? You okay buddy?

ALEX SMITH

Your joke explanations seem a little less… forceful today.

PHILIP RIVERS

They’re not as penetrating as usual

TONY ROMO

You normally thrust them on us more aggressively than this.

MATT STAFFORD

WE’RE REFERENCING THE FACT THAT YOU’RE A RAPIST.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

I haz a sad, you guys.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

My best lineman, Morris Bouncey, suffered an ouchie yesterday.

BEN ROETHLISBERGERS

And my team lost to the Tennasey Tight ‘Uns.

PEYTON MANNING

There’s always a bright side Ben. Just remember that I threw for 6 more touchdowns than you and Jake Locker COMBINED.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

How is that a bright side for me?

PEYTON MANNING

Who cares about you? It makes me so happy that I STAT-GASM FOR HOURS UNTIL I SPRAY WIN-JISM ALL OVER MYSELF. HAHAHA.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

All we needed was one more touchdown to tie the game.

DREW BREES

DON’T SAY THAT WORD!

BRANDON WEEDEN

What, “touchdown?”

ANDY DALTON

See? I KNEW that Weeden was allergic to those.

DREW BREES

No, don’t say “tie.” Legend tells us that if the word “tie,” is uttered three times in a convo, then he will appear.

SAM BRADFORD

'Sup fellas?

MATT SCHAUB

AHHH! COVER YOUR EYES!

SAM BRADFORD

Hey, did you guys see that we BARELY avoided overtime against the Cardinals?

SAM BRADFORD

Thank goodness, because otherwise that game might have ended up in a tie.

SAM BRADFORD

And you know what they say about ties.

PHILIP RIVERS

WE DON’T WANT TO KNOW!

GENO SMITH

What? It’s like kissing your sister, right?

SAM BRADFORD

No, silly!

SAM BRADFORD

A tie is like guzzling a tall glass of your aunt’s used douchewater then spitting it back into your Grandpa’s missing eye socket while your jerk off the family rottweiler’s “red rocket.”

DREW BREES

GAHHH

E. J. MANUEL

PUKE

MATT RYAN

BRB you guys. I have to go wash my eyes out with bleach after reading that.

PEYTON MANNING

WE ARE NOT MAKING A BIG ENOUGH DEAL OVER THE FACT THAT I THREW SEVEN TOUCHDOWNS

ANDREW LUCK

Really? ‘Cause respectfully, it kind of feels like you’ve made quite a big deal about it already.

PEYTON MANNING

THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME ANYONE HAS THROWN SEVEN TD’S IN ONE GAME SINCE 1969!

ANDY DALTON

Coincidentally, that’s also the last time Brandon Weeden won a football game.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE HE’S SO OLD

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Hey, I’m feeling better you guys.

CAM NEWTON

See Roethlisberger? That’s why they say, “when you get knocked off the roofie’d sorority girl, you just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and slide right back into that saddle."

PEYTON MANNING

TO PUT IT IN PERSPECTIVE, IF EACH OF MY TD PASSES WAS A SAILOR ON SHORE LEAVE BANGING JAY CUTLER’S MOM, THAT WOULD BE NEARLY ONE THIRD OF HER NIGHTLY BUSINESS!

TONY ROMO

Hey, guess what I have that none of you jagoffs do?

MATT SCHAUB

A complete lack of friends?

TOM BRADY

A permanent black cloud of suck that hovers above your head, raining failure down upon you wherever you go?

TONY ROMO

WRONG. I have SOLE POSSESSION OF FIRST PLACE IN MY DIVISION

RGIII

Only because my Redskins haven’t played yet!

MICHAEL VICK

And neither have my Eagles.

RGIII

And neither have my Redskins

DREW BREES

Romo you fucktard. My Saints ALSO have sole possession of first place.

ANDY DALTON

So do my Bengals

JAY CUTLER

You lost to me yesterday, Firecrotch.

ANDY DALTON

I know. But everyone else in my division lost too. So we’re all 0-1 and tied for the division lead.

BROWNS FANS

We’ll take it. FIRST PLACE BABY.

TONY ROMO

AS I WAS SAYING, My Cowboys are 1-0 thanks to our DOMINATION of Eli Manning last night.

TONY ROMO

Hey Eli. I hope you enjoyed that BEATDOWN we gave you on national TV

ELI MANNING

Romo, I hope you enjoyed that basket of poisonous spiders I had delivered to your locker room after the game.

DAVID WILSON

Actually, I dropped those in the hallway on the way over there.

ELI MANNING

DAMMIT! How about the box of spitting cobras?

DAVID WILSON

Fumbled those too.

ELI MANNING

I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE TRUSTED YOU WITH THOSE IMPORTANT HANDOFFS

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

BECAUSE DAVID WILSON FUMBLES A LOT, YOU SEE.

ELI MANNING

Remember Romo: I still wiped my ass with that toilet paper defense of yours for 450 YARDS AND 4 TOUCHDOWNS

PEYTON MANNING

HEY! That toilet paper gag is a registered Peyton Manning property. DON’T BE STEALING MY JOKE, ELISHA

ELI MANNING

Well, I just figured that, you know, brothers share things, right?

PEYTON MANNING

WRONG! MY BRONCOS PLAY YOUR DEFENSELESS GNATS THIS WEEK, AND THAT MAKES YOU THE ENEMY.

PEYTON MANNING

SO PREPARE YOUR ANUS FUCKNUTS, BECAUSE WE’RE COMING IN DRY!

ARCHIE MANNING

THIS is what I’ve been waiting for. My only two sons, in a fight to the finish. At stake: THEIR FATHER’S LOVE.

COOPER MANNING

I keep telling you Dad. You have THREE sons.

ARCHIE MANNING

Oh really? How many touchdowns did YOU throw this weekend?

COOPER MANNING

YOU KNOW THAT I WORK FOR AN ENERGY INVESTMENT BANKING FIRM!

ARCHIE MANNING

Well that’s nice, Pumpkin. Fathers love hearing about their daughters’ successful careers.

ELI MANNING

So Dad, will you be coming to the game with one of those “half-and-half” jerseys?

ARCHIE MANNING

Close. I’ll be coming to the game with one of those “High powered contract lawyers.” BECAUSE WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU TWAT DROPPINGS LOSES THIS GAME IS OUT OF MY WILL!

PEYTON MANNING

Fine by me. My team actually has running backs and a defense.

PEYTON MANNING

Not to mention a QB that threw for SEVEN MOTHERFUCKING TOUCHDOWNS!!!!

ELI MANNING

Daaaaad! MAKE HIM STOP!

NFL QBs ON FACEBOOK: AND THEY’RE OFF

47 Comments

  1. Brandon

    September 9, 2013 at 6:16 am

    Ahhh. Happy Monday… Thank you Profootballmock.com!

  2. Becky L Kindvall

    September 9, 2013 at 6:46 am

    These get better every week. David Wilson killed me! Great work!

  3. Donovan Mason

    September 9, 2013 at 7:55 am

    Make it stahp dad pls

  4. Anonymous

    September 9, 2013 at 8:22 am

    You went full Romo, you should never go full Romo.

  5. Bill Sanford

    September 9, 2013 at 8:34 am

    Epic, as usual!

  6. matt b

    September 9, 2013 at 8:38 am

    love it!!!

  7. Anonymous

    September 9, 2013 at 8:53 am

    Dude are you all Cincinnati Bungholes fans? Andy Dalton blew in that game . Plus Brandon Weeden threw a touchdown pass that was pretty nice against the dolphins. This stuff is fun when it’s true. Everyone has to have a sense of humor about their team but when it’s inaccurate it just seem slanted and no as humorous. More like rabid drunk fans in a parking lot

  8. Martin

    September 9, 2013 at 9:04 am

    this one was good. This years is already better then most of last years..

  9. Chris

    September 9, 2013 at 10:15 am

    Anonymous, you have to understand that each QB has a reputation that was built last year and the lines are written around THAT. Not necessarily what happens on the field. For instance Sam Bradford is sick in the head so he rarely ever talks about his team unless they tie or the word tie is mentioned.

  10. Anonymous

    September 9, 2013 at 10:21 am

    Surprised Rodgers wasn’t more pissed about another blown call by the refs…

  11. Pat

    September 9, 2013 at 11:05 am

    I think Anonymous(#2, the obvious Brown fan) is the drunk in a parking lot trying to talk philosophy with the other drunks in the parking lot :)
    Poor Ben haz sad – LOL!

  12. Richard DeJoseph (@Shmoobuster311)

    September 9, 2013 at 11:26 am

    Morris Bouncy lol

  13. Abdul Ileiwat

    September 9, 2013 at 11:34 am

    i cried reading bradford’s tie reference, hahaha!!!!

  14. Seth

    September 9, 2013 at 11:37 am

    Pat, Browns fans are still depressed that they lost their team to B’more right as they got good (AKA wiped that Cleveland stink of failure off) LOL
    Go Ravens ^_^

  15. Anonymous

    September 9, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    I get that players get reputations. Trust me I think it’s very funny to poke fun at everyone’s team including mine. Which yes is the Browns. Being a Browns fan you have to laugh at yourself. However having said that part of the fun of these posts is recapping the stuff that actually happened. If the best cut that can be come up with is your team sucks because you sucked last year then it loses something. My only point was noticing an elevation of Andy Dalton character wise as if he was Tom Brady or Peyton Manning. I got no problem laughing at the crappy play of my team. If you want to make jokes about how many interceptions Weeden threw yesterday that makes sense. But if you say he hasn’t won a game or passed for a touchdown it doesn’t make sense. It’s like saying Brady’s wife, Giselle isn’t hot. It’s a cut down but one that makes no sense. That’s all

  16. klin

    September 9, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    you guys should make the pictures bigger. They really make it funnier, but you can hardly see it unless you can zoom in on an iphone or ipad.

  17. Anonymous

    September 9, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    Kap….. make sure to keep room on your junk for the rest if these clowns. You pass like manning (the good one) and run better than all of them. Thanks bouldin. You look good in 81, sorry T.O

  18. Brandon

    September 9, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    Why do I have to play Roethlisberger here (minus all the raping). Anonymous, you need to learn what comedic devices are. In the case of laughing at Weeden never throwing a TD, it is funny because he has thrown TDs. Look up the word hyperbole.

  19. Anonymous

    September 9, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    I thought kap would say something about that tie! But still funny a’f Yeah I’m a niners fan!

  20. Anonymous

    September 9, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    Sam Bradford i literally almost died

  21. Anonymous

    September 9, 2013 at 5:34 pm

    Nice try throwing out an SAT word , Brandon , but it doesn’t work unless you use it properly. A hyperbole is a figure of speech that isn’t meant to be taken literally. For example” I’m so hungry I could eat a horse”. Doesn’t really apply here. Now what we are talking about here is a bit that uses caricature( note the proper use of a SAT word) which is predominately funny do to that. Now when it steps outside of the caricature and just goes for the weak shot its not funny. Ill put it in terms maybe someone of your limited intelligence can understand. Lets say I say” your mom is so fat she has more chins then a Chinese telephone book” that’s funny if she is actually fat. If she isn’t fat then I just sound stupid. Once again I laugh at my team all the time. The part where they referenced Browns fans thinking we will take the conference because everyone lost yesterday was hilarious. It’s funny because its caricature. I’ll laugh all day long at what’s rooted in at least partial truth. However when it’s baseless it just sounds like homers spouting uninformed cuts .

  22. Anonymous2

    September 9, 2013 at 10:55 pm

    than* a Chinese telephone book

  23. Anonymous

    September 9, 2013 at 11:53 pm

    Funny due* to that

  24. Leona Stewart

    September 10, 2013 at 5:15 am

    Much needed comic relief…my team lost this week. Looking for a better week this week.

  25. Anonymouser

    September 10, 2013 at 5:26 am

    Actually if she’s not fat and everyone knows it, it’s even funnier.

  26. Anonymous

    September 10, 2013 at 6:58 am

    Is Andy Dalton allowed to talk about sole possession, seeing as how he doesn’t possess a soul?

  27. Anonymous

    September 10, 2013 at 7:07 am

    I wish they would have waited until after the monday night games to do this one Im sure Matt Schaub would have a lot more to say as well as Vick and RG3 going at it otherwise hilarity still

  28. Anonymous

    September 10, 2013 at 7:07 am

    Typing on a phone with auto correct folks. The point is the point. If you can’t come up with a better arguement then typographical errors its weak. Point is the author has a slant. Andy Dalton has problems throwing the long ball. Has he thrown a long pass? Yes. However we don’t see an exaggeration of that! Furthermore if we use you all arguement that ” it’s funny because its not true” then this bit would be hilarious if every week the whole thing was about how Peyton Manning and Tom Brady can’t throw touchdowns. Would that be funny? No. Having said that this is a funny bit for the most part. However I noticed one interesting break from their standard comedy mold which made me wonder if there was a little loyalty to their team. I called them out on it out of curiosity. If you all aren’t smart enough to get that I feel very sorry for you. My comment was simply posted to see if there would be a honest response where their loyalties lie. To be honest I noticed it less in comments about my team and more in the fact that Andy Dalton wasn’t getting the same treatment everyone else’s QB was getting. Bottom line I get the bit. What I was questioning was the parts when it steps outside of the mold of the bit. All I was trying to see was if the author would say” yes I’m a Bengals fan”. Nothing more.

  29. Anonymous

    September 10, 2013 at 8:54 am

    The author probably is a Bengals fan, or possibly a thoroughly disgruntled Browns fan. What other NFL fans would be so sick of facing Monday mornings that they would resort to this creative brilliance… just to satisfy their interest in football and make Monday morning enjoyable again? A die-hard Jaguars fan watching Tom Coughlin win super bowls with the Giants is another possibility.

  30. Solitare

    September 10, 2013 at 10:19 am

    I am a rabid drunk fans in a parking lot. That happens to think that this is accurate and funny
    . Go Cincinnati Bungholes

  31. Anonymous spellchecker

    September 10, 2013 at 12:05 pm

    I swear guys, I really can spell and use correct grammar. It really is just the auto-correct on my phone!

    Sure it is.

  32. Anonymous

    September 10, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    Lol if spelling is an issue then half the posts on here should be laughed at. It’s funnier that you chuckle heads throw out words like hyperbole and don’t know what they mean. I’m sure that impresses your dungeons and dragons buddies, but people that actually know what the words mean think you sound stupid. If the best you can come up with is that something was spelled wrong its pretty sad. How about a valid arguement that actually contradict the observation? For the record ” well I think it’s funny ” isn’t a valid argument. What’s even funnier to me is that you all are trying so hard to argue that the bit is funny and I never said it wasn’t. Pay attention and read slow if you have to. Hell, read with your finger if it helps some of you. I was just making an observation and trying to get an answer from the author. I will now sit back and wait for the inevitable responses from the slow witted to explain comedy to me and tell me it’s funny when I’ve already said it was funny.

  33. Chuck

    September 10, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Does anyone else feel like Anonymous could be renamed Rothlesburger? I am cracking up her

  34. Anonymous

    September 10, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    Whoa – Thanks for the Shout out Tom. Somehow I knew you’d take notice of my teams name this year (Boston Teabaggers Party) Much love – but try to get a few more points on Thursday.

  35. Anonymous

    September 10, 2013 at 5:18 pm

    I think you’re all dumbasses.

  36. Joe

    September 10, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    “And neither have my Redskins” and I DIED laughing.

  37. Brad Evanson

    September 11, 2013 at 8:53 am

    Woo hoo! Regular season convos, baby! Love it!

  38. Rusty

    September 11, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    These kill me. I can’t stop laughing every week here in the office. Great writing!!

  39. hellonatasmotiejunas

    September 11, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    These guys are confirmed Giants fans (or Cowboys haters, or both).

    “Remember Romo: I still wiped my ass with that toilet paper defense of yours for 450 YARDS AND 4 TOUCHDOWNS”

    Yeah, and THREE interceptions; including a whole bucket of retard on the FIRST PLAY FROM SCRIMMAGE where you threw a screen pass directly to DeMarcus Ware.

    That second interception was on Eli Manning too. Threw way behind his receiver and gift wrapped it for a lurking Will Allen.

    Sure, the third one wasn’t his fault…but since when do we give losing quarterbacks a pass on flak about their losses when they turn the ball over three times just because they put up a bunch of yards and scored a few TDs? Does no one remember this site’s teardown of Romo when he lost 29-24 to the Giants last year? Or when Romo lost to the Saints in Week 16? To reiterate above posts, the NFL QBs chat is funny and the characters are interesting; but based on the way this conversation went I would have had no clue that the Giants didn’t lead the entire game and literally derped away every opportunity at every turn to go ahead (likewise, how is the focus on Ben losing his center when his team lost to the effing TITANS).

    When the Giants are 0-2 after PFM throws for another 7 TDs next week (*especially* if the Cowboys/Eagles are 2-0) we’ll see if the good guys over at NFL QBs have the stones to rag on their own team. If we see Eli Manning bring up the Super Bowl season where the Giants started out 0-2 then we’ll know *exactly* how homer these guys are lol.

  40. Joe

    September 12, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    I don’t know about them being Giants fans… and Cowboys haters narrows it down to about 95% of the country.
    I wouldn’t want to be a Cowboy fan this year either… you almost lost to a Giants team begging to lose the game. They had to hand you the ball SIX times to give you the win… and let’s face it, they were about to win with only the 5 turnovers.

    And come on, the Eagles, really? With all the running around Vick is doing it will be 3 to 4 weeks tops before he looks like the loser in a dog fight. The Cowgirls will implode for some insane reason (one way or another linked to Jerry Jones). So it comes down to whether or not RGIII can stay alive or the Giants win the division by default.

  41. Anonymous

    September 12, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    This was cool. I see some ppl didnt like the off-season convo’s. Personally the draft was hilarious. But as long as i get my Wilson troll comment, im good.

  42. Anonymous

    September 12, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    Forgot to add, my other fav troll Bradford. two must haves!

  43. Anonymous

    September 14, 2013 at 11:16 am

    Actually Tom Brady lost to Russell Wilson in the closing second of a game last year…

    (“I mean, I’d have to be a completely pathetic failure to lose a game in the closing seconds to a rookie QB. Who could possibly do that anyway?”)

  44. Vater

    September 15, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    Perhaps just as humorous as the mock QB Facebook conversation are the comments from morons whining about stuff not discussed regarding their team’s performance. “Hey, I get humor!”

  45. Anonymous

    September 24, 2013 at 6:14 am

    AWESOME STUFF!

    Ben Rothlisraper – It’s because he thinks the read was great.

    Love how Ben explains all the jokes lolz

  46. Ryan

    October 25, 2013 at 12:20 am

    “TOM BRADY – I mean, I’d have to be a completely pathetic failure to lose a game in the closing seconds to a rookie QB. Who could possibly do that anyway?”

    Wow, Brady opened his suck too soon.

  47. Anonymous

    January 17, 2014 at 9:34 am

    i wish there was more of russell wilson

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