HOW’D YOU LIKE THAT KANSAS CITY KLOBBERING I GAVE YOU YESTERDAY, ALEX SMITH?
Like . Comment . Share . 6 hours ago
SUCK A DONKEY DONG, MANNING!
6 hours ago . Like
HAHAHA. YOUR HOME CROWD WATCHED ME THROW FOR 403 YARDS AND 5 TDs!
To put that into perspective, if each one of my TDS was a large Papa John’s pepperoni pizza, you’d have FIVE PAPA JOHN’S PIZZAS FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF ONLY $59.73!
Or you could eat five cardboard boxes for roughly the same taste, at a fraction of the cost.
Hey Smith, it’s true about how loud the fans in your stadium are. My ears are still ringing from all their loud sobs yesterday. HAHAHA.
DAMMIT! I can’t believe I lost to that pizza peddling, five-headed goon again!
Don’t forget that I had 174 yards and 4 TDS.
And I had 106 yards, including a big 77 yard catch and run.
That’s why they call us “Black and Decker”
Well you are a couple of tools.
I TOLD YOU, ALEX SMITH. I told you that your 9-0 start would crumble into a 9-7 final record.
AND NOW YOU’RE 0-3 SINCE THEN. LOLOLOLOL
Meanwhile you’re 2-1 in the last three weeks Manning, thanks to me.
WRONG. I’m 3-1. Because I won this past Thursday.
You didn’t play last Thursday.
THE FUCK I DIDN’T. I won the annual “Manning Family Thanksgiving Backyard Touch Football Game” at my Dad’s place.
It was tied in the 4th quarter, until my Mom got her third interception of the game off Eli.
Well then maybe the Redskins should have signed Mama before last night’s game because I PASSED MY GIANTS TO VICTORY RIGHT OVER THE ROTTING CORPSE OF RGIII’S REDSKINS! BOOYA!
EAT FRESH SQUIRREL SHIT, MANNING!
LOLOL Griffin. It’s so ironic that you’re a spokesperson for Subway. Because beating you yesterday totally gave me a footlong.
HE’S TALKING ABOUT A 12 INCH BONER
BIG GAME TONIGHT, BITCHES! My Saints versus Russell Wilson’s Seahawks in a battle for NFC dominance!
And you know what? I’m feeling a little cough coming on. Think I’ll drink a cup of the most effective nighttime liquid cold and flu medicine you can find at your local pharmacy.
Yes Brees. We’ve all seen your stupid Nyquil commercials.
DON’T YOU DARE INSULT NYQUIL, ALEX SMITH. Unlike you, that shit performs exactly the way it’s supposed to.
So Drew Brees and Russell Wilson will be playing on the same field? Get ready for lots of “short QB” jokes.
Don’t worry. Most of those gags go right over their heads.
I’M ROOTING FOR YOU TONIGHT, BREES! Take that midget Russell Wilson Sea-Dwarf down a few more notches wouldya?
Remember Wilson you could take away a full four inches from my magnificent frame, and I’d STILL be taller than you.
And you could take away a full four wins from our record, and we’d still be ahead of you in the standings.
WILSON, I WILL ROLL YOU IN BATTER, DROP YOU IN A DEEP FRYER, AND MAKE YOU AVAILABLE IN UNLIMITED QUANTITIES AT THE SIZZLER BUFFET!
BECAUSE RUSSELL WILSON’S KIND OF A SHRIMP, YOU SEE.
LOL THAT’S FUNNY LOL COUGH COUGH COUGH
Uh-oh. Still coughing. Guess I better double my dose of Nyquil GLUG GLUG GLUG.
Be careful, Brees, too much of that stuff can make you groggy and incoherent.
THAT’S NOT TRUE. I’VE BEEN MIXING NITE QUILL WITH MY GATORADE FOR YEARS NOW AND IT HASN’T MADE ME GOGGY INCOHESIVE OR WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN?
Hey you dildos, it’s SING-ALONG TIME!
THE HOUSTON “D,” GOT FUCKED BY ME… (CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-CLAP)
… DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS!
I always figured you’d have some form of the Clap, Brady.
Okay Matt Schaub. You know the rules. I beat you on the field. So now I get to bang your wife.
What?! Case Keenum started yesterday. I never even took the field in that stupid game!
Yes I know you didn't play. The fact that your team scored more than 6 points tipped me off.
But that doesn't change the fact that your wife is surprisingly hot. And judging by Case Keenum’s face, I’m guessing the only girlfriend he has is inflatable.
So you can drop your wife off at my place around 10pm tonight and wait in the driveway with the engine running. I won’t be long.
YOU’RE NOT SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE, BRADY. Not again, anyway.
You shoulda thought of that before your defense let me HAMMER THEM LIKE FRESH GROUND BEEF HAHAHA.
Did someone say fresh ground beef?
The redheaded Wendy’s Commercial Girl? The one with the red hair, from the Wendy’s commercials?
Well expositioned, Rivers.
If you want REAL fresh ground beef, bite into a Hot ‘N Juicy Bacon Portabella Melt, now available at your local participating Wendy’s
Hey Redheaded Wendy’s Commercial Girl, you’re making my mouth water a little bit.
How’d you like me to be the Jack in YOUR Box?
I‘d sooner be a serving wench for the Burger King
Are you sure? I’d love for you to sample my meat.
I want to get my hands on her nuggets
I’d really like to butter her buns
Miss, I apologize. I am so sorry you’re being subjected to this awful sexism.
5 hours ago . Like
Quit trying to white-knight your way into my panties, Luck. I wouldn’t let you bang me with Ronald McDonald’s striped dick.
Well, I hope all you fellas enjoyed your Thanksgiving.
Me, I loved GOBBLING UP 330 YARDS AGAINST THE PACKERS TO MOVE MY LIONS BACK INTO FIRST PLACE IN OUR DIVISION. WHOO-HOOO!
Sorry Matt Ryan and Matt McGloin, but Matt Stafford is now officially the LEADER OF THE MATT MAFIA! #BestQBNamedMattInNFL
Meanwhile YOU, Matt Flynn, are the SHITTIEST OF ALL THE BACKUP MATT QBs!
5 hours ago . Like .
MATT SIMMS, MATT BARKLEY,MATT SCHAUB, MATT CASSEL, MATT MOORE,and MATT HASSELBECK all breathe a sigh of relief
YOU’VE RUINED OUR CHANCES AT THE PLAYOFFS WITH YOUR OFF-TARGET PASSING!
YOU CAN’T BLAME ME! I’M ONLY GOOD AT THE “SIGNING BIG MONEY CONTRACTS” PART OF FOOTBALL, NOT THE ACTUAL “PLAYING” PART.
FUCKITY-FUCK FUCK! OUR STUPID BACKUP QBS ARE THE MOST PATHETIC HUMANS ON THE PLANET!
DISCOUNT DAAAHHHHBLE CHECK!
I stand corrected.
We know who you are, pal. You’re the State Farm Discount Daahhble Check guy.
YEAH, NO SHIT NORM FROM CHEERS. I’M ONLY THE MOST RECOGNIZED AND BELOVED INSURANCE SPOKESPERSON ON TELEVISION!
Get fucked, cheesedick.
Interrupting coach, wh….
GET OUTTA THE WAY JIZZBUCKET! MIKE TOMLIN’S GOT HIS FOOT ON THE PLAYING FIELD! HAHAHA!
THAT’S NOT FUNNY! I would’ve had a TD if not for your stupid “Coachus Interruptus”
I suffered from “Coachus Interruptus” once, when Jeff Fisher walked in on me having a thee-way with a couple of tackling dummies in the Rams hot tub.
Well despite that illegal troll stroll of yours Mike Tomlin, my Ravens STILL beat your cheating Steelers.
Only because Emmanual Sanders dropped that damn 2-point conversion in the end zone!
On the plus side, I just signed a lucrative endorsement deal with Butterfinger.
You know what, dum-dums? I should totally sign an endorsement deal with Scott’s Lawnmowers. ‘CAUSE I CHEWED UP 275 YARDS AGAINST THE RAMS. YUK YUK YUK YUK YUK!
WHOA. TRIPPY. GONZO FROM THE MUPPET SHOW IS ON FACEBOOK?
That’s not Gonzo, Drew. It’s Colin Kaepernick.
Don’t count out my 49ers in the divisional race yet, Dickwads! If the Saints can just beat the Seahawks tonight, we’re right back in it!
MY HANDS ARE MELTING. EVERYTHING’S MOVING REALLY SLOWLY. I THINK MY SCAR IS TALKING TO ME.
Yeah, we’re fucked.
Brees, you balls-tripping, Nyquil addict. You’re only supposed to take that stuff once every four hours.
OR “AS NEEDED.” AND TRUST ME, DADDY NEEDS HIS COUGH-COUGH, SLEEP-SLEEP JUICE.
FUCK IT. IMMA DRINK THE WHOLE BOTTLE GLUG GLUG GLUG.
LOOKOUT EVERYONE, ‘CAUSE DREW BREES IS RIDING THE GREEN DRAGON TONIGHT, WHOOO!
POP QUIZ, CUMBOXES: Guess who’s the NFL’s only UNDEFEATED QB?
4 hours ago . Like
Um, no one.
WRONG, PALMJOB. I am currently the NFL’s ONLY undefeated QB, assuming that we’re only counting Canadian games.
Choke on a pound of back-bacon, Ryan.
Hey, I’ve got a better quiz. Which starting NFL QB is gonna get his skinny head bashed in for failing to get the all-time greatest TE in NFL history into the Super Bowl? WHO CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION?
I’ll take a stab at it.
I’ll take a shot at it.
I’ll take a crack at it.
I’LL TAKE AN ALLEGED MULTIPLE DATE RAPE AT IT.
CHECK ME OUT, RAISIN-DICKS!. I threw for another 3 TDs with NO picks to whip up on Carson Palmer’s Cardinals
Congratulations, Foles. You’re now officially the best QB in the NFL who also happens to be a Napoleon Dynamite doppleganger.
I DEFY YOU TO NAME ANYONE WHO PLAYED BETTER THAN ME YESTERDAY!
Hey! I had 261 receiving yards!
I had 4 sacks!
I had 211 rushing yards to take the NFL lead. AND my Vikings beat the Bears!
You SUCK, Robbie Gould. We would have won yesterday if you’d hit that chip shot field goal in overtime.
HAS THERE EVER BEEN A MORE PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT A GAME WINNING FIELD GOAL THAN THAT?
Just wait until I return to our lineup. I’ll get us back into that top wild card spot
Panthers coach Ron Rivera? Whose daring style has earned him the nickname, “Riverboat Ron?”
DAMN STRAIGHT. My rambling, gambling defense sacked Mike Glennon FIVE TIMES yesterday
ROFL, HE'S GONNA BE SORE UNTIL NEXT WEDNESDAY!
WEDNESDAY? You mean HUMP DAYYYYY!
Tom, how happy are dumbasses who sign up with our crappy discount insurance agency?
I’d say happier than Sam Bradford fucking a bag of puppies
Blimey, that’s disgusting
FOR FUCK’S SAKE. WHY DOES GEICO INSURANCE HAVE SO MANY GODDAMN MASCOTS?
You know Coach Rivera, I had a little something to do with that victory too.
Yeah, but I’m still your Mom’s favorite player.
(begins warming up arm)
KID I WILL SMASH YOUR FACE INTO A CAR WINDSHIELD, AND THEN TAKE YOUR MOTHER, DOROTHY MANTOOTH, OUT FOR A NICE SEAFOOD DINNER AND NEVER CALL HER AGAIN!
4 hours ago . Like .
Ron Burgandy likes this
DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT!
Well, MY Colts beat Tennessee yesterday and are now almost guaranteed to win the AFC South! Hooray for me!
Forgive me everyone. I…I don’t know what came over me to become such a braggart like that.
Big deal. Beating the Titans is just like Geico insurance: So easy, even Andrew Luck can do it.
BECAUSE ANDREW LUCK TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE A CAVEMAN!
My god, I forgot about the cavemen. THAT’S ENOUGH MASCOTS, GEICO INSURANCE.
Luck, you only won that game because Tennessee’s shitty QB threw 3 awful picks.
That’s why 4 out of 5 cornerbacks surveyed preferred the easily interceptable flavor of Ryan Fitzpatrick.
DAMMIT! I CAN’T BELIEVE MY CHARGERS LOST TO THE BENGALS! We needed that win BADLY to stay in the playoff race.
3 hours ago . Like
Don’t feel bad Rivers. You could still sign an endorsement deal with Secret Deodorant.
“Philip Rivers: Strong Enough for a Man, But Plays Like a Woman.”
HAHAHAHA. THAT PUPPY DOG'S ENGORGED RED PENIS IS CALLING PHILIP RIVERS A WOMAN!
That’s not the engorged red penis of a dog, Brees. It’s Andy Dalton.
Though to be fair, it is easy to confuse the two.
HEY, DID YOU GUYS EVER THINK THAT MAYBE OUR ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS, LIKE, JUST A TINY ATOM IN THE SCAR OF A SUPER-DUPER ENORMOUS QUARTERBACK, LIKE, IN A TOTALLY DIFFERENT DIMENSION SOMEWHERE?
Brees, I really think you need to put down the Nyquil now.
POUR DOWN SOME MORE NYQUIL, YOU SAY? DON’T MIND IF I DO GLUG-GLUG-GLUG-GLUG ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
(lists Drew Brees as “Questionable: Coma” on injury report)
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June 5, 2014 at 1:01 am
Wow @anonymous you are fucking annoying bro like take a damn break. Let these fucking guys breathe your always the first comment. ” it’s good guys but it’s not abc prime time material”. it’s a funny website that does good on its purpose. Stop acting like it’s the one cable network show in Bosnia.
February 13, 2014 at 7:42 pm
Awwww, they forgot the Gieco money stack. Was kinda waitng for that and another flow blow up.
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December 10, 2013 at 12:31 pm
Colin Kapernick as Gonzo is hilarious to me.
December 9, 2013 at 7:11 am
I can’t wait till the snow day one comes out!
And I absolutely loved the grammar discussion! was highly informative with the exception of the aggressive attitude of involved. Since “correct English” was not given by God (or whoever),aggressively asserting correct spelling such that one would attack someone for lacking it in one instance is a tenuous proposal. There are conventional norms, most of which developed in in the aftermath of print technology, helping to sell books and newspapers to a broader audience. These norms of grammar and spelling were especially helpful in the bureaucratic administration for colonial powers . If these norms didn’t develop, there would have had to be multiple versions of books, newspapers, and and documents for every dialect.
The idea of “correct” grammar and spelling is all fine and good in that it helps us communicate more efficiently and effectively with each other, and the norms of writing one adheres to will help determine how broad and what type of audience will read one’s work. Still, to make fun of someone for not sharing in it 100% of the time is just silly.
December 8, 2013 at 9:07 pm
This whole convo was redeemed with the one-liner of Wes Mantooth, lol
December 8, 2013 at 5:12 pm
It’s always nice to see someone so graciously take constructive criticism. PFM Staff, I like you guys even more now. Plus, you make me laugh my ass off every time.
December 8, 2013 at 12:59 am
For what it’s worth, I DEFINITELY appreciate the spelling/grammar corrections from you guys.
I suck at proofreading in general, but I really suck at it when it’s 5am on a Monday morning, and I’m all bleary eyed from putting the finishing touches on the loose collection of dick jokes that is the QB convo. So by all means, please continue to keep me honest as to any typos or errors I make.
Thanks also to you guys that come to my defense regarding the grammar corrections, but trust me, I’m not offended by it. Everyone that’s offered feedback has done it in a constructive and helpful way, so it’s totally cool.
Happy week 14, y’all.
December 7, 2013 at 10:20 pm
First, I didn’t mean to start a grammar war here. My only reason for making the comment was because an earlier comment indicated that the author clearly has a respect for the English language and wanted to make the corrections. However, since the dumbass was (hilariously) made, I will state (even though Kong already did it quite eloquently) that even thought “till” looks strange, it is correct. ‘Til is generally considered incorrect, although it has been used so often that it has found a place in the English language. In the U.K., however ’til is considered correct usage. Not so in the U.S. But when somebody responds with “dumbass,” and then makes a dumbass comment, well, I had to respond.
But enough grammar shit. Back to the mock, because another episode is coming in two days, and after all, that is all that really matters.
December 7, 2013 at 4:46 pm
Rw3 look it up, moron.
December 7, 2013 at 2:56 pm
Great comment Kong. I with plus/minus options for comments would be added to the comment section. If you can get by the your team vs. my team battles, it gets pretty funny in here.
December 7, 2013 at 6:00 am
He’s not a dumbass; it just depends on where he’s from. Till and ’til are actually two different words with two different etymologies. Till is the earlier form, attested as early as 1330; Until is actually derived from till, not the other way around as in ’til (a backformation which showed up much later). Both are common, so it’s up to you which one you like. Till is commoner in Scotland, where it can be used like dative “to” in some situations, while ’til is commoner in the U.S. Take your pick. Either is technically correct, but to U.S. eyes, ’til would probably be the best choice. Depends on how many worldwide readers you have. And bottom line, it’s YOUR page, so spell it however the hell you want to.
Got to hand it to you, PFM Staff, for how gracious you are at taking grammar and spelling suggestions.
And let me finish by saying I’ve been a football fanatic for 25 years now, and a writer for 20 years – your knowledge of football is a lot deeper than my own. Some of the references you make are almost esoteric but brilliantly done; the set-up for them in your writing makes these jokes almost blindside me when I read them. Outstanding work, each and every one. Thank you.
December 5, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Please add more russell wilson. he is only the QB on the best team in the nfl
December 5, 2013 at 8:27 am
Yeah the guy who corrected you on ’til is a dumbass. You were correct, till is incorrect.
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Sherman Channing Humphrey III
December 4, 2013 at 2:29 pm
Too many fillers now. Gieco, Wendy’s, Rim-shots, Discount double checks… None of us write for PFBM so we cant tell them how do do what they do.. but I can say it was much funnier when they just stuck to football and insulting/bullying each other… etc. IMO
December 4, 2013 at 10:09 am
On the geico part about the caveman, orakpo (who was on the geico commercial with the caveman) should have been included. That would be funny.
December 4, 2013 at 9:33 am
Can’t help but love… ERIC DECKER
December 4, 2013 at 7:02 am
Um…who cares about grammar on these? Most facebook posts have terrible spelling and grammar…some incorrect ones make it seem more realistic anyway.
December 4, 2013 at 5:37 am
Hehe… you said “staff”…
December 3, 2013 at 3:49 pm
@PFM: I didn’t realize you had a staff of volunteer trolls to do after the fact proof reading for you
December 3, 2013 at 3:17 pm
@waitwhatbruins: I do welcome the grammar and spelling corrections, so thank you. Although I thought that as a contraction of “until” the “’til” spelling was correct, no? Regardless, I’ll make that change. Thank you for keeping me honest, and I hope to begin speeling better in the futore.
December 3, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Awesome as usual. And I hate to be the grammar police, but since it seems that you welcome them and want them corrected, here’s another: The correct spelling is “till,” not ” ’til.”
Just wait ‘til I return to our lineup. I’ll get us back into that top wild card spot
December 3, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Always one of the highlights of my week, aside from watching Rivers lose, of course, or Brady whine to the refs, or the Jags try to resemble a football team. They’re so cute when they do that.
December 3, 2013 at 1:11 pm
i started reading these right before the manning bowl omfg had to back track and read them all. so funny
December 3, 2013 at 1:05 pm
I wish NFL QB’s were really like this! Would be hilarious to watch post game interviews!
December 3, 2013 at 12:45 pm
Loving the new characters
December 3, 2013 at 12:27 pm
Maybe the whole saints team had too much nyquil cause the whole team was like half asleep, or they just suck in the cold
December 3, 2013 at 12:23 pm
Guess drew breed did take to much no quilt dude was half asleep yesterday
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December 3, 2013 at 10:05 am
Rivers introducing the redhead Wendy’s girl, the Wendy’s girl with red-hair…absolutely hilarious…laughed out loud
December 3, 2013 at 9:35 am
I loved how they mentioned Gonzo.
December 3, 2013 at 9:23 am
December 3, 2013 at 7:41 am
A Nyquil coma would indeed explain much.
December 3, 2013 at 6:30 am
“It would be funny if Brees sucked tonight. Then this would be prophetic, and probably warrant a Tuesday followup of some sort.”
Well, he didn’t play great…
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December 3, 2013 at 3:52 am
Sadly prophetic, after watching the Saints get whupped tonight. Still funny, tho! Loved the Saban interjection!
Jason malamut (@Jasonmalamut)
December 3, 2013 at 3:17 am
If Nick Foles breaks Mannings record next week, I’d love to see a section of the comments focusing on these 2
December 3, 2013 at 2:31 am
Pretty sure the “GOGGY” was intentional, as Ben is an idiot you see.
December 3, 2013 at 2:02 am
2 more typos
5 TDs = 7 pizza’s
Ben says “GOGGY” not gRoggy
Keep up the good work though reading these have become my monday night ritual
December 3, 2013 at 1:08 am
Tom Brady will win another Super Bowl when pigs fly
Geico pig: he really just say that?
December 3, 2013 at 1:05 am
The NFL Play 60 kid coming after Cam Newton is awesome
December 3, 2013 at 12:51 am
Guess Brees really *did* take too much NyQuil…
December 3, 2013 at 12:16 am
cant believe no UGGS reference for tom brady
December 2, 2013 at 11:29 pm
The Tony Gonzo death threats are really good. Also: why is Jay Cutler not Smokin’ Jay Cutler? Figured that’d be the obvious gimmick for him
December 2, 2013 at 11:08 pm
You JINXED BREES!! WTF?!?!?!?!
December 2, 2013 at 8:24 pm
My favorite line was “THE FUCK I DIDN’T”
December 2, 2013 at 8:02 pm
Brees is playing like he is riding the Green Dragon tonight.
December 2, 2013 at 7:59 pm
Bree’s really is on NyQuil, isn’t he.
December 2, 2013 at 7:39 pm
Tannehill had a few lines: he’s the straight man for a few of these jokes (which for a Miami fan is probably better than the alternative)
December 2, 2013 at 7:28 pm
Happier than a pig in shit lol. Love pfm, great job as always, look foward to mondays!
December 2, 2013 at 7:24 pm
I feel bad I criticized about no Tannehill, i forgot to mention that i thiught this one was hilarious. Its hard to be a fins fan lol, I see tannehill have one line and im like
December 2, 2013 at 7:00 pm
Oh, and the geico banjo line about bradford was f’ing hilarious
December 2, 2013 at 6:58 pm
Holy fuck, this one made me laugh so hard I almost choked on my Papa John’s pizza, or was it the taste? Either way, I coughed up a lung laughing.
So, Tannehill is now the some sarcastic straight man. Not bad. I like the different personalities
December 2, 2013 at 6:45 pm
PFM needs to make an Alternate Universe where the Packers actually defeated the Seahawks last season.
December 2, 2013 at 6:37 pm
Been reading these since last year and I gotta say, I actually hope for the weekend to go by quicker just to read these. Amazing as usual guys!
December 2, 2013 at 6:36 pm
One of the best yet! Couldn’t help but to laugh out loud more than few times. Keep up the great work!
December 2, 2013 at 6:12 pm
looks like brees still high on nyquil lol
December 2, 2013 at 5:37 pm
The Wilson troll and the Roethlisberger comments are the best parts.
December 2, 2013 at 4:35 pm
The Geico guys’ names are Jimmy and Ronnie, there’s no Tom.
December 2, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Between this week’s mock and the comments, I am crying! Thanks!!
December 2, 2013 at 3:39 pm
Vagina! Brilliant as always. Love a Monday thanks to PFM!
December 2, 2013 at 2:59 pm
I look forward to these every Monday. Thanks!
December 2, 2013 at 2:55 pm
I just wanna shave my balls n hump flow leg while sniffing her dirty panties
December 2, 2013 at 2:51 pm
Was a decent one this week… gave me a few laughs. I know some people love having the ‘guests’, but for me personally, too much non-QB talk slowly ruins it for me. Whether it be coaches, Archie/Cooper Manning, advertisement personalities, etc. A small interjection here and there is okay, but long sidebars that really don’t involve the QBs are just buzzkillers for me.
Russell Wilson and Sam Bradford always make it worth it regardless.
December 2, 2013 at 2:47 pm
No mention of Romo’s fever game?
December 2, 2013 at 2:41 pm
Really? no one wants to acknowledge HOW FUCKING GREAT FLO was. She was so pissed it made me LOL pretty damn loud. I do agree though there were way to many funny parts. Good Job PFM keep it up.
December 2, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Tannehill and Bree’s had me rolling
December 2, 2013 at 2:03 pm
Nobody gives a crap about the Browns or the Jags…
Also, I can’t believe there are morons that read these and then have to nerve to criticize the writers for them not being funny. Every single one of these is absolutely brilliant!
December 2, 2013 at 1:50 pm
No Brandon Weeden? Guy KICKED THE BALL OUT OF BOUNDS TO GIVE UP A SAFETY. Not to mention that the Browns had the lead with under three minutes to go only to throw two interceptions, and a fumble in 2 minutes and 47 seconds letting the Jags not only catch up, but pass by TWO FIELD GOALS.
December 2, 2013 at 1:34 pm
The Roethlisberger I’LL TAKE AN ALLEGED MULTIPLE DATE RAPE AT IT.” line might have been the best line in any of these yet LMAO
December 2, 2013 at 1:18 pm
Exactly. Profootballmock.com can call them bagpipe guys if they want to, it’s their goddamn page!
December 2, 2013 at 1:12 pm
You missed that Geico Pig and the stack of money with eyes, not to mention all of the celebrities like Little Richard and Randy Johnson. Geico spends a fortune of advertising.
December 2, 2013 at 1:06 pm
I think they ought to go a little farther with the Russell Wilson trolling. They could also turn him into a pervert like Bradford, because he is a big holy roller as well.
December 2, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Neither of the “annoying banjo playing” guys play banjos in those commercials.
December 2, 2013 at 12:30 pm
Good. My opponent is starting Brees in fantasy and I need to win that game to be in the playoffs.
On another note, I can think of a more pathetic field goal attempt that’s been burned into every Raven’s fan memory
December 2, 2013 at 12:29 pm
Nick saban comment was my favorite, this weeks post might be my all time favorite, great stuff
At some point you need to work in a Leo DiCaprio/Gisele joke for Tom Brady
December 2, 2013 at 12:16 pm
only thing missing was a JaMarcus Russell like for Brees cough syrup addiction.
December 2, 2013 at 12:13 pm
“I’ll take a stab it.” <——–Priceless.
December 2, 2013 at 11:42 am
This one was the best this year! Great Job guys!
December 2, 2013 at 11:40 am
Loved Eli’s Subway Footlong comment!
December 2, 2013 at 11:31 am
Where was the GEICO pig?
December 2, 2013 at 11:30 am
Also Eli should have mentioned that Tuck is also a subway spokesman LOL
December 2, 2013 at 11:22 am
How does five td’s = seven pizzas?
December 2, 2013 at 11:17 am
No Romo bragging followed by the traditional beat-down he so richly deserves? Although I see Romo’s wife is both hot & pregnant…
December 2, 2013 at 11:16 am
This one made me laugh out loud several times. They just keep getting better this year!
December 2, 2013 at 10:58 am
Thanks for the heads up, Denver Land! As usual, 10 or 15 proofreads still weren’t enough to catch all the typos. Fixed ‘em! Thanks again.
December 2, 2013 at 10:49 am
Brees had me LMAO
December 2, 2013 at 10:46 am
2 typos, fellas.
#1: AARON RODGERS
YOU’RE RUINED OUR CHANCES AT THE PLAYOFFS WITH YOUR OFF-TARGET PASSING!
#2: MATT RYAN
WRONG, PALMJOB. I am currently thr NFL’s ONLY undefeated QB, assuming that we’re only counting Canadian games.
December 2, 2013 at 10:45 am
This one was so good that I had to read it again. Love it when random non-NFL people are dropped into the conversation.
December 2, 2013 at 10:36 am
December 2, 2013 at 10:34 am
“I’ll take an alleged multiple date rape at it” was priceless.
December 2, 2013 at 10:28 am
not so good…..sorry, i enjoy reading every week, no need for the insurance claims, just stick with the players
December 2, 2013 at 10:27 am
I live for Russel Wilson’s one liners! LOL
December 2, 2013 at 10:26 am
Everyone is always telling everyone else to eat something.
December 2, 2013 at 10:21 am
Hahahahahaahhahaha. Freakin hilarious!!!
December 2, 2013 at 10:20 am
HAHAHA I think this one was REALLY good!!!!
too many funny parts to quote just one
I love the troll jokes with Wilson. How about this one? Assuming Wilson wins again this week, he’ll make the playoffs. Have Aaron Rodgers say something like “it can take YEARS to make the playoffs twice.” Wilson responds with “unless you’re me…” and everyone threatens him xD.
At this point, Jets references would be just plain cruel…
Roethlisberger yelling “VAGINA!”
December 2, 2013 at 10:17 am
Maybe the best one ever!
Classic way of getting Bradford mentioned! Brilliant stuff.
Funny, as always
December 2, 2013 at 10:15 am
It would be funny if Brees sucked tonight. Then this would be prophetic, and probably warrant a Tuesday followup of some sort.
December 2, 2013 at 10:09 am
The Nick Saban reference was priceless.
Geaux F Yourself
December 2, 2013 at 10:07 am
dude shut the fuck up, this was hysterical
December 2, 2013 at 10:06 am
No tannehill whipping the jets?
December 2, 2013 at 10:02 am
Ehhh, this one was nto as good as the last few. Hopefully next week will be better
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