NFL QBs on FACEBOOK: “SNOW PLOWED”

By
Updated: December 9, 2013

SNOW PLOWED 475 CONVO

JAY CUTLER

SNORE. What a boring day in the NFL yesterday.

CARSON PALMER

Boring? You thought yesterday was boring? What are you, HIGH?

JAY CUTLER

A little, yeah. But still. Those games were a total snoozefest.

JAY CUTLER

Nothing but crappy teams with crappy QBs bumbling around in crappy weather.

JOE FLACCO

Then you clearly missed the AVALANCHE of AWESOME I unleashed against the Minnesota Ice Queens.

JOE FLACCO

FIVE TOUCHDOWNS SCORED IN THE LAST TWO MINUTES OF THE GAME. I CALL THAT PRETTY EPIC.

PHILIP RIVERS

Eli Manning calls that “a good month.”

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

HE’S NOT VERY GOOD THIS SEASON.

JACOBY JONES

Well I could NOT be happier.

JACOBY JONES

After getting my kick return TD STOLEN by Mike Tomlin last week, the karma gods repaid me with a 77 yard kick return THIS week!

THE KARMA GODS

“Repaid,” hell. Our opponent in fantasy was starting the Vikings defense. We did what we had to do.

JOE FLACCO

You twatknobs have to admit: That was pretty damn elite the way I led my team to that comeback victory.

MATT CASSEL

You also threw three interceptions.

PHILIP RIVERS

Eli Manning calls that, “an average quarter”

CARSON PALMER

Settle down Flacco. You squeaked by Matt Cassel and the Vikings. You can’t brag about mounting a comeback to barely beat a backup QB on a 9-loss team.

TOM BRADY

‘Guess what everyone? I MOUNTED A MASSIVE COMEBACK TO BARELY BEAT JASON CAMPBELL AND THE BROWNS!

GENO SMITH

Oh great. Looks like there’s a front of hot air moving in

TOM BRADY

“Hot air,” my ass. I’m more of what you’d call a “cumming storm.”

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

THAT’S WORDPLAY

JASON CAMPBELL

BLOW ME, BRADY. YOU KNOW THAT PASS INTEREFERENCE CALL AT THE END OF OUR GAME WAS BULLSHIT!

TOM BRADY

Oh I don’t think there was anything wrong with that penalty at all.

TOM BRADY

In fact, I’ve always believed that NFL referees make their best calls on cold, snowy days.

RAIDERS FANS

GET FROSTBITE ON YOUR TAINT, BRADY!

JASON CAMPBELL

WE SHOULD HAVE WON THAT GAME! WE HAD A SIX POINT LEAD WITH ONLY A MINUTE LEFT!

TOM BRADY

Well there’s your mistake, needledick.

TOM BRADY

What were you thinking, leaving me an entire 60 seconds? Don’t you know I could probably score TWICE in that time?

JOE FLACCO

Yeah, that’s probably what your wife thinks… no wait. I mean, a minute is probably how long to takes you to get your wife, twice, so…

JOE FLACCO

DAMMIT. I know there’s a “wife” joke in here somewhere.

TOM BRADY

SHUT YOUR STUTTERHOLE, FLACCO. Only I can come up with quality “wife” jokes.

TOM BRADY

For example, picture your wife having hot, steamy sex with her favorite guy.

JOE FLACCO

Where's the joke?

TOM BRADY

Wherever you go until they’re finished.

JASON CAMPBELL

This loss to the Patriots was YOUR fault, Billy Cundiff! If your last second field goal try hadn’t fallen short, we would have won!

BILLY CUNDIFF

You can’t blame me! That was a 58-yard kick! NO ONE could make a kick that far!

MATT PRATER

HEY EVERYONE. I HIT A 64-YARD KICK YESTERDAY!

PHILIP RIVERS

Holy crap, how many kickers are we going to have in this convo?

CARSON PALMER

Well so far we have Billy Cundiff and Matt Prater. So that’s one.

PEYTON MANNING

GO GET LIQUORED UP, ALL YOU IDIOT KICKERS. The real story is how PEYTON GODDAMN MANNING CONTINUES HIS ASSAULT THROUGH THE AFC.

PEYTON MANNING

Yet again, I hung up FIFTY FAT POINTS on a helpless defense. SUCK IT, TITANS.

PEYTON MANNING

NO DEFENSE CAN WEATHER MY TOUCHDOWN TYPHOON.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

THAT’S ANOTHER WEATHER TERM.

WES WELKER

What happened? Did we win? I took a 40 minute shower, and missed the 2nd half of the game. Because I kept vomiting and shitting my pants.

TONY ROMO

You got a concussion. Welker. Your second in four weeks.

ALEX SMITH

That’s not surprising. Wes Welker gets concussed when he brushes his teeth too vigorously.

PEYTON MANNING

WES WELKER’S FREQUENT CONCUSSIONS CAN’T STOP ME.

PEYTON MANNING

NOR CAN THE TITANS DEFENSE, OR THAT INEPT NEW ASSISTANT OF MINE ON THE SIDELINES

RYAN TANNEHILL

You have an “inept new assistant?”

JOHN FOX

He means me.

PEYTON MANNING

397 YARDS! FOUR TOUCHDOWNS! WHAT A GAME I HAD!

PEYTON MANNING

WHO SAYS PEYTON MANNING CAN’T PERFORM IN COLD WEATHER?

TOM BRADY

Your wife, during a vacation to Alaska?

TOM BRADY

BOOM. That’s how it’s done, Flacco!

NICK FOLES

Well I’ll tell you who CAN perform in cold weather. NICK FOLES, FUCKERS!

NICK FOLES

Even those loser Lions and a freezing Philadelphia snowstorm can’t cool off my BLAZING HOT HEAT WAVE.

CARSON PALMER

“Blazing hot heat wave” is a redundant term.

GENO SMITH

So is “Loser Lions”

MIKE GLENNON

Man, that Philly blizzard looked nasty. There was so much white stuff. White, everywhere!

RILEY COOPER likes this

MICHAEL IRVIN

Did someone say, “White stuff?”

NICK FOLES

Poor Matt Stafford. You and those tiny bitch hands of yours fumbled FIVE times in that blunderstorm.

MATT STAFFORD

BUT IT WAS SO COLD! My cheeks started to swell up in the second half.

TONY ROMO

How could you tell?

NICK FOLES

You know Stafford, your coach could’ve made a snowman on the sideline, slapped a helmet on his head, and it would have been a better QB than you.

TONY ROMO

Smarter too.

MATT RYAN

And thinner.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

AND SMARTER.

DREW BREES

WELL THERE WAS CERTAINLY A HOT BREES BLOWING IN N’AWLINS LAST NIGHT!

DREW BREES

‘CAUSE I WAS RAINING DOWN ENOUGH TOUCHDOWNS TO MAKE THE PANTHERS DEFENSE FOLD LIKE A CHEAP UMBRELLA.

CARSON PALMER

You know what? I think that’s enough weather references now.

DREW BREES

What? I’m just saying that Cam Newton’s performance yesterday was A FAILSTORM HAILSTORM

DREW BREES

A TOUCHDOWN DROUGHT

DREW BREES

A TSUNAMI OF TSUCK

DREW BREES

But my performance, on the other hand, was what you’d call a DREW BREES SCORE-NADO.

CAM NEWTON

Also known as “SCAR-MAGEDDON”

DREW BREES

Aw Newton. Still bitter that I put up more points before halftime than you did all game?

DREW BREES

Man, you guys really need to work on your first half defense.

CAM NEWTON

BEFORE LAST NIGHT’S GAME. WE’D ONLY ALLOWED 2 FIRST HALF TD’s ALL SEASON

DREW BREES

Well, before last night’s game, I hadn’t anally raped a Panthers defense all year.

DREW BREES

So I guess two streaks got snapped yesterday, eh?

CAM NEWTON

CHOKE ON A SNOW CONE, BREES!

DREW BREES

HAHAHAHA. I threw for 4 TD’s, AND I passed 50,000 career yards passing!

DREW BREES

To put that into perspective, it would take Matt Schaub about three decades to throw for 50,000 yards.

NICK FOLES

Or two seasons, if you include INT returns.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

HE THROWS A LOT OF PICK-6s

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Well the weather was pretty bad out in San Francisco yesterday. Because the air was so thick with PLUCKED SEAHAWKS FEATHERS LOLOLOLOL.

RUSSELL WILSON

Ha, ha. Very funny. Say Kaepernick, how’s the weather way down there where you are?

COLIN KAEPERNICK

I’m taller than you, dumbass.

RUSSELL WILSON

I meant in the standings.

COLIN KAEPERNICK

WILSON, I WILL YANK OUT YOUR SPLEEN AND…, wait, what’s going on?

COLIN KAEPERNICK

You’re actually talking? You normally only get one line in these convos, and it’s usually to do some stupid joke about that “Fail Mary” game last year.

MICHAEL IRVIN

DID SOMEONE SAY, “DO A LINE?”

RUSSELL WILSON

Yeah, well, I occasionally contribute some extra dialogue into these convos.

RUSSELL WILSON

For example, on weeks when I lose to an opponent I truly respect and admire, I make exactly five comments.

COLIN KAEPERNICK

But so far you’re only had four.

CRICKETS

Chirping

COLIN KAEPERNICK

WILSON, I WILL DROWN YOU IN A TIDAL WAVE OF TOUCHDOWNS DURING THE INEVITABLE RUBBER MATCH WE’RE GOING TO HAVE IN THE PLAYOFFS.

SAM BRADFORD

I had a rubber match once.

SAM BRADFORD

The security guard at the Ringling Brothers circus found a used condom next to the dancing bear cage that was an exact match to the one I was wearing just five minutes earlier.

JOE FLACCO

Wait, you raped a circus bear?

SAM BRADFORD

Well, you should have seen how it was dressed.

MARSHAWN LYNCH

Beast mode, motherfuckers. Sigh.

MARSHAWN LYNCH

Beast mode experiencing contrasting emotions.

MARSHAWN LYNCH

Beast mode feels strong sense of personal pride for passing 1,000 yards, which juxtaposes sharply with melancholy Beast Mode has over losing to puny 49ers.

FRANK GORE

GORE MODE MOTHERFUCKERS

FRANK GORE

Gore Mode made Beast Mode his BITCH by gaining 38 more yards on 3 less carries.

FRANK GORE

You know what Gore Mode calls a good day? When Gore Mode runs for 51 yards late in the game to put the freeze on the Shithawks’ winning streak.

MIKE GLENNON

You know what Trent Richardson calls 51 yards? “A good two-week total.”

ANDY DALTON

Guess that’s why Trent Richardson couldn’t stop Andrew Luck from getting buried in in my BENGAL BLIZZARD!

CARSON PALMER

We used “blizzard” already.

TOM BRADY

That’s okay. We can use it again and again and again.

TOM BRADY

Just like Matt Schaub’s wife. BOOM.

PEYTON MANNING

So Andy Dalton played Andrew Luck? I guess that’s a battle of “The Redhead” versus “The Bedhead”

NICK FOLES

The ”Carrot Top” versus “The Caveman”

COLIN KAEPERNICK

“No Arm” versus “No Soul”

ANDREW LUCK

Well, even though my Colts lost, I’m still proud that we clinched the AFC South division title.

JOE FLACCO

What? Andrew Luck won his division even though he lost the game?

PHILIP RIVERS

By that logic, you’d think Eli Manning would have won the NFC East three or four times by now.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

BECAUSE HE LOSES A LOT.

RYAN TANNEHILL

Did all you crotchwipers see my Dolphins WHIP THE STEELERS IN THEIR OWN SNOWY STADIUM?!

RYAN TANNEHILL

You can call this cold fish, “a winner!”

TOM BRADY

I usually call a cold fish, “Mrs. Flacco.”

TOM BRADY

BOOM. Oh, I am just KILLING IT.

MIKE TOMLIN

GAHHHHH. WE WOULDA PULLED OFF A MIRACLE KICK RETURN FOR THE WIN, IF ANTONIO BROWN DIDN’T STEP OUT OF BOUNDS AT THE 13 YARD LINE!

NFL SIDELINE

HAHAHAHA. TOUGH TINSEL, TOMLIN.

NFL SIDELINE

Remember last week when you blatantly cheated by stepping over me onto the field?

NFL SIDELINE

THE KARMA GODS USED ME TO SHOVE SOME HOT IRONY UP YOUR ASS!

GENO SMITH

Wait, so the karma gods punish cheating coaches? How come Bill Belichick hasn’t felt their wrath?

DREW BREES

‘Cause as a demon spawned hell beast, he’s technically higher on the deity flow chart than they are.

NFL SIDELINE

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go before Michael Irvin tries to snort me.

YES, WE PUT MICHAEL IRVIN IN THE CONVO EARLIER just to make this joke

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

HOW DID WE LOSE THAT GAME? I THREW FOR 3 YARDS AND 349 TOUCHDOWNS!

ANDREW LUCK

Um, I think you want to reverse that. Mr. Roethlisberger.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Like this?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

TOUCHDOWNS 349 AND YARDS 3 FOR THREW I. ME BLAME CAN’T YOU!

LIKES THIS, Yoda does

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Well, he doesn’t make any less sense that way.

PHILIP RIVERS

Hey, you know what DOES make sense? MY CHARGERS, BEATING THE GIANTS BY 23 POINTS!

ELI MANNING

GODDAMMIT. That loss knocked us out of the playoffs!

PHILIP RIVERS

Well, look at it this way Manning:

PHILIP RIVERS

Even though you lost the game and are tied for the league lead in INTs, I am currently having what may very well be my finest season!

ELI MANNING

How is that supposed to make me feel better?

PHILIP RIVERS

It’s not. I just wanted you to look at it that way. HAHAHAHAHA.

ELI MANNING

I HOPE YOUR FACE GETS FROZEN LIKE THAT, RIVERS!

PHILIP RIVERS

And while your Giants will be home for the new year, I’m positioning my Chargers for a possible wild card berth in the AFC!

ARCHIE MANNING

(immediately begins orchestrating trade for Eli back to Chargers)

ALEX SMITH

Did everyone enjoy watching that RGIII shitstorm in Washington as much as I did? HAHAHA

RGIII

SIT ON AN ICICLE, SLEET-FOR-BRAINS!

ALEX SMITH

Hey Griffin, you know why we beat you so badly yesterday? Because our “Chiefs” nickname honors Native Americans. But “Redskins” is just a racist slur.

ALEX SMITH

So the karma gods punished you by giving us a 35-point victory.

NATIVE AMERICANS

While they’re at it, could the karma gods also give us back all the land white people stole from us?

KARMA GODS

Sorry. You guys gotta stay on the reservations. We need our cheap smokes.

DAN SNYDER

MIKE SHANAHAN, YOU INSUBORDINATE HAS-BEEN COCKBISCUIT!

DAN SNYDER

How DARE you disrespect me publicly like you did yesterday? You are so fired. You and your entire family of filthy orangeskins!

MIKE SHANAHAN

You can’t fire me! I quit a year ago. I just never told you or anyone else until now.

DAN SNYDER

YOU’VE RUINED THE MAGNIFICENT FRANCHISE I’VE WORKED SO HARD TO BUILD!

TONY ROMO

Does Dan Snyder have some other NFL franchise I'm not aware of?

DAN SNYDER

We don't even have a first round draft pick next year. We gave it up as part of the trade for RGIII!

MIKE SHANAHAN

Too bad. You could’ve used that pick to address your glaring need at quarterback.

RGIII

Hey! I AM A PREMIER YOUNG NFL QB!

KIRK COUSINS

SO AM I!

DAN SNYDER

THAT’S RIGHT! WE STILL HAVE TWO OUTSTANDING YOUNG QBs ON OUR ROSTER!

RYAN TANNEHILL

With a total of three good knees.

JAY CUTLER

See? Like I said, nothing interesting happened in the NFL yesterday.

JAY CUTLER

But TONIGHT, the forecast calls for partly crushed Cowboys, and scattered Tony Romo turnovers.

TONY ROMO

Cutler, I’ll have you know that my rating in the month of December is the highest of ANY QB during the last 4 seasons.

JAY CUTLER

You know what they say, Romo. There are 3 kinds of lies:

JAY CUTLER

Lies, damn lies, and lies that claim that Tony Romo DOESN’T suck in December.

ALEX SMITH

Those are the worst kind.

TONY ROMO

YOU CAN'T TALK SHIT TO ME, CUTLER. YOU’RE NOT EVEN PLAYING TONIGHT!

JAY CUTLER

So? Just because I’m injured doesn’t mean I can’t kick a little ass in the convo.

AARON RODGERS

THEN HOW COME I HAD LESS LINES IN THIS STUPID CONVO THAN RUSSELL WILSON?

NFL QBs on FACEBOOK: “SNOW PLOWED”

Leave a Reply

74 Comments

  1. Pingback: pro football mock.

  2. Anonymous

    December 16, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    loved the yoda shit

  3. Pingback: NFL QBs ON FACEBOOK: 2013 - Page 5

  4. Hich

    December 16, 2013 at 11:52 am

    IT’S UP!

  5. Anonymous

    December 16, 2013 at 11:34 am

    faster faster you fools you fools!

  6. Paul D

    December 16, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Of course once it IS published, a lot of people will complain about it….

  7. L.Johnson

    December 16, 2013 at 11:09 am

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz HURRY UP

  8. Anonymous

    December 16, 2013 at 11:08 am

    Where is my precious

  9. Anonymous

    December 16, 2013 at 11:06 am

    I’m with you all. My Mondays are not complete without a QB Facebook convo. I used to want them on Tuesdays to include MNF but I’m used to it now.

  10. Anonymous

    December 16, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Please get the new one in!!!

  11. Paul D

    December 16, 2013 at 10:39 am

    It must be taking them some time to work in Eli’s 5 picks, Romo’s latest December fail-fest and everything else.

  12. Anonymous

    December 16, 2013 at 10:11 am

    No kidding. WE WANT WEEK 15! Between the Mannings and Brady losing, Romo being Romo in December, and my Saints playing like crap on the road I can’t wait to read this one.

  13. Anonymous

    December 16, 2013 at 10:06 am

    WHERE IS IT???

  14. Chrth

    December 16, 2013 at 9:11 am

    They’re usually up at 12 EST. I don’t recall ever seeing one before 11am and I’ve been reading them since the beginning.

  15. Anonymous

    December 16, 2013 at 9:03 am

    Interesting that these are always up at 9 – 10 am EST and yet this weeks hasn’t been put up yet. I guess Tommy Boy getting beat by the Dolphins hurts the PFM guys and they don’t want there golden boy to feel bad.

  16. Anonymous

    December 15, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    I cannot wait for the one in the morning. Romo is going to get crapped on worse than ever before!

  17. Anonymous

    December 15, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    Romo actually avoided being crapped on today…according to the game I just watched, that ain’t gonna last.

  18. Dave

    December 12, 2013 at 9:23 pm

    If the pats lose, lauren tannehill will jump in and claim brady’s wife! “uhhh… can I watch” “me too”…

  19. Anonymous

    December 12, 2013 at 10:11 am

    *Fewer lines

  20. Anonymous

    December 12, 2013 at 9:34 am

    FYI, the Pats were down by five. not six. They missed the 2-point try.

  21. Pingback: NFL Quarterbacks Conversation on Facebook: Week 13 Round-Up | Total Pro Sports

  22. Tim

    December 12, 2013 at 6:09 am

    @Ebad careful, Joe Flacco might ragequit.

  23. Anonymous

    December 11, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    So if the Dolphins beat New England this week, does that mean that Ryan Tannehill gets Brady’s wife?

  24. Anonymous

    December 11, 2013 at 8:32 am

    Die hard Pats fan here, and love how you categorize Bill as a higher demon than karma! Brady wife jokes are the best….keep it up

  25. Anonymous

    December 11, 2013 at 7:04 am

    When Mike Tomlin Complains.

  26. Anonymous

    December 11, 2013 at 7:04 am

    Shouldn’t it be a lateral, not a kick return?

  27. Anonymous

    December 11, 2013 at 6:40 am

    Would like to see some more Jags in this considering they have the longest winning streak in the AFC and are still not out of the playoff hunt, surprisingly.

  28. Anonymous

    December 10, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    Took me about 5 minutes to finally get the Russel Wilson joke. BAHAHAHA!

  29. Anonymous

    December 10, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    I was wondering when Wes Welker was going to make a reference to his Old Spice commercials. Well done.

  30. Anonymous

    December 10, 2013 at 11:09 am

    In the last two weeks there should,have been,something about jones-drew or ace sanders td

  31. Anonymous

    December 10, 2013 at 10:30 am

    you guys should wait till after monday nights game to post these, seeing romo get slammed after that performance would have bee great.. love when romo get crapped on.lol

  32. Pingback: Daybreak Doppler: Will The Packers Win Force a Rodgers Return | PocketDoppler.com

  33. D-Money

    December 9, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    Gore Mode! LOL. I’m a Hawk fan but I was on the floor laughing when I read that!

  34. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    A couple Schaub mentions but no lines for him after he finally was pushed back on the field to help his team lose more completely?

  35. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    This was the funniest one yet. The Mike Glennon picture and comments are hilarious. And Beast Mode pops up when I least expect it. Love it!

  36. Hich

    December 9, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    Amazed at all the Tannehill love in the comments. I, too, want to see moar!

    Was hoping for Rivers exposition when Tomlin appeared. Enjoyed it overall, though. :)

    Tannehill’s character ideas… Already partially established as a bit of a straight-laced guy. Weird seeing him introduce himself arrogantly in this one! Would be kind of interesting to see him continue to be overshadowed by his wife.

  37. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    I didn’t understand Rodgers line

  38. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 7:47 pm

    I love how Carson Palmer seems to have instantly earned respect on the convos even though he really has not done anything yet

  39. Ebad

    December 9, 2013 at 7:38 pm

    Love having tannehill, keep him in it, hes turning into an elite qb

  40. Nemo

    December 9, 2013 at 6:04 pm

    I wish people would understand 4 things about this feature:

    #1- RB and Coaches aren’t usually part of the convo (except Beast Mode), unless making a point. So no 217 yd Shady McCoy love.

    #2- It’s a parody, not real. #facepalm

    #3- Ben Roethlisberger is the funniest QB.

    #4- Laugh at it.

  41. Daniel Thrall

    December 9, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    i love how insanely thin mike glennon’s head is

  42. Karsten

    December 9, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    I just still cant determine what kind of person Tannehill is in these convos… Any suggestions?

  43. Amy Zonin Dalton

    December 9, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    Glad to see my boy Tanny a little more! These are the highlight of the day, thanks for the LOLs!

  44. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    MISTAKE: Antonio Brown stepped out on the 12-yard line. Not the 13

  45. Nate

    December 9, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    Nothing about McCoy putting up 217 yards? Sigh…

  46. tent163phantoka

    December 9, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    LOL at the sideline and yoda likes. also:
    WILSON:For example, on weeks when I lose to an opponent I truly respect and admire, I make exactly five comments.
    KAEPERNICK: But you’ve only said four lines
    *Crickets*
    KAEPERNICK: WILSON, I WILL DROWN YOU IN A TIDAL WAVE OF TOUCHDOWNS DURING THE INEVITABLE RUBBER MATCH WE’RE GOING TO HAVE IN THE PLAYOFFS.

  47. RPM

    December 9, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Kudos for digging up Michael Irvin’s ‘White Line Fever’.

  48. Carol

    December 9, 2013 at 1:31 pm

    I’m surprised that there wasn’t a mention about how Peyton Manning not only managed to win and clinch a playoff spot for his team but for his former team too, by being the ones to beat the Titans. Otherwise, hilarious. Brady and his jokes were my favorite part. And Wilson’s trollish ways are always entertaining.

  49. Kam Srak

    December 9, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    Love that Foles is getting in more. Go Eagles!

  50. ben Rberger

    December 9, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    That’s because he’s so funny!

  51. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    Roethlisberger is so hilarious

  52. Dave

    December 9, 2013 at 11:53 am

    Sam Bradford continues to be my favorite character! The bear rape line was… wow!
    I actually like the Tannehill use. Sure, I would like to see the QB of my team get more time, but I like how you use him as something of a straight man who gets a sarcastic quip in.

  53. Dave

    December 9, 2013 at 11:51 am

    Personally, I couldn’t care “less” how he uses the word “less”. You understand what he means by it, right? So, what’s the problem? It’s not like he is publishing this in a major newspaper or journal. There is no rule that dick jokes need to be told in the Queen’s English. Moreover, he is mimicking the way most people speak and write on facebook. If every character strictly adhered to text-book English linguistic norms, it would make this whole thing much more dull.

  54. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 11:09 am

    Can you please learn when to use the word “less?” You should use the word less fewer times. See what I did there?

  55. Mike

    December 9, 2013 at 11:06 am

    should of had something about the jaguars sweeping the Texans

  56. Jo Momma

    December 9, 2013 at 11:03 am

    Nothing about the irony of Billy Cundiff giving up a game with a last minute field goal????

  57. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 10:57 am

    “TOUCHDOWNS 349 AND YARDS 3 FOR THREW I. ME BLAME CAN’T YOU!” Effing hilarious. Well done PFM!

  58. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 10:48 am

    This is a good one. I don’t care for Rodger’s line at the end though. Seems really forced and kind of breaking the fourth wall.

  59. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 10:44 am

    Lynch’s first line says “Best mode” instead of “Beast mode”.

    Unless that was intentional, but I doubt it.

  60. Cygnia

    December 9, 2013 at 10:27 am

    Poor, poor Beast Mode.

  61. Max

    December 9, 2013 at 10:27 am

    NFL SIDELINE
    Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go before Michael Irvin tries to snort me.
    4 hours ago . Like .YES, WE PUT MICHAEL IRVIN IN THE CONVO EARLIER just to make this joke
    Lol

  62. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 10:20 am

    Peyton and his liquored up idiot kicker…beautiful.

  63. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 10:09 am

    Russell Wilson is the best – I wonder how the convo after a Denver vs Seattle Super Bowl will look like, if it comes to that? Russell Wilson will probably have to say a lot more in the playoff convos.

  64. Blake

    December 9, 2013 at 10:04 am

    This one was definitely one of the best all year. Also a ravens fan, and also love big ben. Brady was my favorite in this one. “Your wife during a vacation to alaska? BOOM. Thats how it’s done Flacco!” Glorious.

  65. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 10:01 am

    Lol the Irving joke. Does he really do crack?

  66. King D

    December 9, 2013 at 9:58 am

    This was pretty funny. Bradford, Big Ben, and Russell killed it as usual. Wasn’t sure if i’d like the Micheal Irvin bit but it panned out imo. And less rivers being a dick and more captain exposition!

  67. Ben R

    December 9, 2013 at 9:48 am

    BECAUSE I’M SO SMART YOU SEE!!!

  68. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 9:44 am

    TSUNAMI OF TSUCK!

  69. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 9:37 am

    More Tannehill! He’s earned his respect

  70. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 9:36 am

    “Wait, you raped a circus bear?” “Well, you should have seen how it was dressed.”
    ROFLMFAO

  71. Anonymous

    December 9, 2013 at 9:32 am

    This was the funniest Russell Wilson bit yet.

    And I can’t believe I’m saying this since I’m a Ravens fan, but Roethlisburger is my favorite character in this segment.

  72. Vincent Tobiaz (@vincenttobiaz)

    December 9, 2013 at 9:30 am

    Uhm the karma gods already got BB back, 18-1. and the second gnats loss in sb? and gronk? and like no SB since then? ENOUGH :(

  73. J.M.

    December 9, 2013 at 9:25 am

    Nothing about Kubiak getting fired? Really?

  74. IFHSS

    December 9, 2013 at 9:14 am

    Still bitter that* I put up more points before halftime than you did all game?

You must be logged in to post a comment Login