NFL QBs ON FACEBOOK: “THE INJURY REPORT”

By
Updated: October 21, 2013

INJURY LIST FEATURED 475

PEYTON MANNING

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY!

ALEX SMITH

HAHAHA MANNING. You went back to your old stadium and got HUMILIATED by Andrew Luck.

JIM IRSAY

Serves you right Fuckbucket. That’s what you get for ONLY WINNING US ONE MEASELY SUPER BOWL IN THIRTEEN YEARS OF SERVICE!

PEYTON MANNING

DAMMITT! PEYTON FUCKING MANNING DOES NOT LOSE FOOTBALL GAMES, ESPECIALLY TO HIS OLD TEAM, AND DOUBLE ESPECIALLY TO ANDREW RATFACE LUCK

ANDREW LUCK

Well, it was a very exciting game Mr. Manning you SHIT PISS CUNT FUCKSTICK!!!!!

PEYTON MANNING

Oh Christ. Luck, are you breaking character again to try to mouth off to me? KNOCK IT OFF. I’M NOT IN THE MOOD

ANDREW LUCK

No Mr. Manning, I’m honored to have played against you. I wish you nothing but AIDS FUCK LICK MY COCK SHIT BUNGHOLES.

CARSON PALMER

You’re not being a very gracious winner, Luck.

RGIII

Or a very coherent one either.

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Gentlemen, I believe I can diagnose this situation

PHILIP RIVERS

Dr. James Andrews? Orthopedic surgeon to America’s most famous athletes?

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Andrew Luck is clearing suffering from a rare case of “NFL Tourette’s Syndrome.”

JOSH FREEMAN

Really?

TERRELLE PRYOR

Gosh.

ANDREW LUCK

FUCK FUCKITY FUCK CUNTFLAP FUCK

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

It occurs whenever an NFL QB leads a team to victory against its former starter.

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Is it serious, Doc?

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Well, Aaron Rodgers caught a case back in 2010 when he beat Brett Favre. He’s yet to shake it.

AARON RODGERS

GET FUCKED, YOU COCK STROKING QUACK.

PEYTON MANNING

This is BULLSHIT. How could a worthless bootlicker like Andrew Luck beat me? There must be some rational explanation.

PEYTON MANNING

Hey Doc Andrews. Any chance I caught a 24-hour case of “Failure Fever?”

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Doubtful. Ever since I quarantined Mark Sanchez, we’ve been able to prevent that outbreak.

ANDREW LUCK

For what it’s worth Mr. Manning SUCK MY COCK BALLS ASS PUSSY SHIT.

PHILIP RIVERS

Luck, this new condition of yours is going to seriously damage your future endorsement possibilities.

PROFOOTBALLMOCK

On the plus side, he can write for us now.

CAM NEWTON

Andrew Luck’s not the only one with an ailment. It seemed like EVERYONE got injured yesterday.

CAM NEWTON

The Texans lost both Arian Foster and Brian Cushing to injuries

MATT SCHAUB

Don’t forget that I also missed that game with an ankle injury.

CAM NEWTON

Yes, but we’re only discussing injuries that are bad for the Texans.

CASE KEENUM

DAMMIT. I came so close to beating the Chiefs in my first-ever start!

ALEX SMITH

TOUGH TITTIES, TEXAS TWATHEAD. You lost any chance of winning that game when you coughed up the ball near the end of the 4th quarter

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Hmmm. Clearly a bad strain of “fumble-itis.”

ALEX SMITH

Meantime, I’VE got my own winning affliction. DIAGNOSIS: 7-AND-OH-SIS. HAHAHA.

ALEX SMITH

Symptoms include chronic touchdowns, massive erections, and THE ONLY PERFECT RECORD IN THE NFL.

ALEX SMITH

Next stop: SUPER BOWL, BITCHES!

ELI MANNING

OMG, just thinking about Andy Reid winning a Super Bowl makes me nauseous.

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

I recommend you induce vomiting immediately.

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Here, this should help:

TONY ROMO

Very funny, assholes. Hey, do any of you jizzrods know what the number “27,485” represents?

COLIN KAEPERNICK

The amount of 4th quarter interceptions you’ll be throwing this December?

DREW BREES

The number of feminine hygiene pads you go through during your heavy flow days?

ALEX SMITH

The dollar amount, in billions, that Dallas is over the salary cap next year?

TONY ROMO

WRONG. It’s the number of yards I’ve now thrown for after my first 100 starts.

TONY ROMO

THAT’S THE HIGHEST NUMBER IN NFL HISTORY.

DREW BREES

And yet your “Yardage to Super Bowl” ratio remains at zero.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

THAT’S BECAUSE ANY NUMBER DIVIDED BY ZERO IS ZERO.

TONY ROMO

You can’t annoy me today, dickwads. Not when I’m ALL ALONE IN 1st PLACE ATOP THE NFC EAST!

NICK FOLES

Where am I?

PHILIP RIVERS

Concussed Eagles QB Nick Foles?

NICK FOLES

The last thing I remember was getting sandwiched by 2 Cowboy defenders. Then I woke up and Michael Vick was attaching electrodes to my genitals.

MICHAEL VICK

Motherfucker, you steal my job, you get the “Rottweiler” treatment

TONY ROMO

Foles, you’ll be pleased to know that your replacement Matt Barkley somehow managed to spit up 3 PICKS in just NINE MINUTES OF PLAYING TIME! LOLOL

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Sounds like he caught a raging case of “intercept-alepsy”

DREW BREES

ALL RIGHT, WE GET IT DR. JAMES ANDREWS! You don’t have to diagnose every player with some stupid football-themed disease.

ANDY DALTON

Hey, did you guys all see Matt Stafford and his Lions COUGH UP THAT GIANT SUCKBALL against my Bengals yesterday?

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Sounds like you gave them a nasty case of “Gingivitis.”

DREW BREES

STOP THAT!

ANDY DALTON

I threw for 371 yards, 3 TDs, AND led the winning field goal drive to avoid overtime.

JOE FLACCO

Quit being so cocky, Dalton. You know that kick was just barely good by the width of one of your curly red pubes.

ANDY DALTON

Oh Flacco. Sounds like you’ve caught that strain of “Cincy-Envy” that’s going around the AFC North these days.

ANDY DALTON

I recommend you drink lots of fluids, and get plenty of rest this January while you’re at home watching ME in the playoffs

JOE FLACCO

DAMMIT LIONS. YOU HAD THAT GAME IN HAND! HOW COULD YOU CHOKE AWAY THAT VICTORY?

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Maybe they have a… “Stafford infection?”

DREW BREES

I HATE YOU

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

JOE FLACCO, YOU’RE JUST SORE BECAUSE MY STEELERS KNOCKED OFF YOUR BALTIMORE RAISINS! WHOOOO!

JOE FLACCO

GET AIDS OF THE BRAIN, WORTHLESSBURGER

PHILIP RIVERS

Do we know that Ben doesn’t have that already?

ALEX SMITH

It would explain a lot

JOE FLACCO

MY RAVENS AREN’T OUT OF IT YET, SHITLORDS! Just remember last year at this time, no one thought we were destined to win the Super Bowl. And what happened next?

COLIN KAEPERNICK

You caught a hot streak thanks to Anquan Boldin, Ed Reed, Ray Lewis, Bernard Pollard, Cary Williams, and Dannell Ellerbee?

JOE FLACCO

EXACTLY. SO… shit.

TOM BRADY

CHRIS JONES, YOU STUPID LATE-PENALTY COMMITTING MOTHERFUCKER!

TOM BRADY

YOUR PUSH IN THE BACK GIFT-WRAPPED THAT OVERTIME VICTORY FOR THE JETS!

GENO SMITH

HAHAHA SUCK IT TOM BRADY

TOM BRADY

THIS ISN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. TOM BRADY DOES NOT LOSE TO THE NEW YORK JETS

GENO SMITH

GET USED TO BEING MY BEANTOWN BITCH, BRADY. BECAUSE THESE ARE THE NEW NEW YORK JETS.

GENO SMITH

Last year’s squad would’ve just butt-fumbled away that game. BUT NOW WE COMMIT GENO-CIDE ALL OVER YOUR ASS

TOM BRADY

IT’S NOT FAIR. No game should be decided in the closing minutes by an obscure NFL rule!

RAIDERS FANS

DIE, BRADY.

GENO SMITH

HAHAHA YES, YES TOM BRADY. YOUR WATERY PATRIOT TEARS OF FAILURE ARE LIKE SWEET, SWEET MEDICINE.

TOM BRADY

I HOPE YOU GET GONORRHEA OF THE ARM, SMITH

GENO SMITH

I HOPE YOU GET GONORRHEA OF THE BRAIN, BRADY

TOM BRADY

I HOPE YOU GET GONORRHEA OF THE DICK, SMITH

CAM NEWTON

Wouldn’t that just be regular gonorrhea?

TOM BRADY

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS, CHRIS JONES!

CHRIS JONES

I’M SORRY, OKAY? I’M SORRY I COMMMITTED THE GAME-LOSING PENALTY!

RYAN TANNEHILL

I’M SORRY I FUMBLED IN THE FOURTH QUARTER TO RUIN MY DOLPHINS’ COMEBACK!

ANDREW LUCK

I’M SORRY FOR BITCH FUCKER PUSSYBALLS SCROTUM!

JAMAAL CHARLES

I’M SORRY I INJURED BRIAN CUSHING WITH A LOW BLOCK!

PROFOOTBALLMOCK

WE’RE SORRY FOR LAST WEEK’S CONVO IN GENERAL!

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Guys, I’m worried about Sam Bradford. We’ve had the word “overtime” mentioned twice now, and he hasn’t shown up to announce that a tie is like fingerbanging Hitler, or whatever.

SAM BRADFORD

‘Sup fellas? Ow.

TONY ROMO

You okay, Bradford?

SAM BRADFORD

No. I got hurt against the Panthers. I had to spend the night in ICU.

TONY ROMO

“Intensive Care Unit?”

SAM BRADFORD

“Incestually Conjoined Underwear.”

TONY ROMO

How did that help with your knee injury?

SAM BRADFORD

That’s exactly what my sister kept asking.

GENO SMITH

So is the injury serious?

SAM BRADFORD

Yeah. The doctors say I damaged my ACL

GENO SMITH

“Anterior cruciate ligament?”

SAM BRADFORD

“Anally Concealed Lube-dispenser”

ANDY DALTON

What’s the prognosis?

SAM BRADFORD

Well, I’m scheduled for an MRI tomorrow morning

ANDY DALTON

Let me guess: A “Massive Rear-end Intrusion?”

SAM BRADFORD

No. A Magnetic Resonance Imaging. Don’t be gross.

ANDY DALTON

Sorry.

SAM BRADFORD

The buttsex doesn’t happen until mid-afternoon.

CAM NEWTON

Well I’m glad you threw that pick to our defense before you got injured, Bradford.

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

A classic case of premature ejac-uception

DREW BREES

ISN’T THERE A ROTATOR CUFF YOU SHOULD BE BUTCHERING SOMEWHERE?

RGIII

Meantime, my Redskins squeaked by Cutler and the Bears for win #2!

ALEX SMITH

HEY, HEY. Watch your mouth, Griffin. That name is VERY offensive!

RGIII

“Redskins?”

ALEX SMITH

“Bears”

YOGI BEAR

We resent our species being associated with Jay Cutler in any way

BALOO THE BEAR

YER DAMN STRAIGHT

WINNIE THE POOH

FUCKIN’ A!

SNUGGLES THE FABRIC SOFTENER BEAR

I’LL CUT THE NEXT MOTHERFUCKER WHO USES THAT TERM

JAY CUTLER

LEAVE ME ALONE. Those cheating Washington bastards injured me yesterday. I feel like crap.

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Ah A nasty yeast infection, I assume?

JAY CUTLER

NO, YOU WITLESS DOORKNOB. I have a pulled groin.

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Which is a coincidence since your Mom’s been pulling on all our groins for years now.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

HE’S TALKING ABOUT HANDJOBS

RGIII

Tough shit, Jay Cutler. If you didn’t want to get injured, then you shouldn’t have been born with such a punchable face.

ALEX SMITH

Yeah. So next time you see her, tell your Mom it’s her fault.

CAM NEWTON

Wait, she’s here with me right now. I’ll tell her.

JOE FLACCO

What was her response?

CAM NEWTON

“Mmmgph rrppgg brggghhh.”

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

BECAUSE SHE HAS A MOUTH FULL OF PENIS, YOU SEE.

FOZZIE BEAR

WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA

MATT RYAN

You know ladies, I think I’ve caught some new disease too.

MATT RYAN

See, yesterday I felt so brave and mighty that I wasn’t afraid to face the Buccaneers even without my 2 elite WR’s

MATT RYAN

So it’s pretty clear I have a massive case of SWOLLEN BALL SYNDROME. HAHAHA.

TONY ROMO

Matt Stafford also has “Swollen ball syndrome.” Only he has it on his face.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

BECAUSE HIS CHEEKS ARE SO ROUND AND PUFFY

DREW BREES

Enjoy your win while you can, Ryan. Because your playoff hopes are on life support, and I’m afraid they only have five more weeks left to live.

DREW BREES

BECAUSE THAT’S WHEN YOUR FALCONS WILL BE LOSING TO MY SAINTS, YOU SEE. HAHAHA

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Dude, the joke works better if you don’t over-explain it.

AARON RODGERS

Hey speaking of medical nonsense, my doctor has asked me to keep track of my bowel movements.

AARON RODGERS

So I hope he saw those BIG STEAMING PILES OF BROWNS I LEFT SCATTERED ALL OVER LAMBEAU FIELD YESTERDAY!

MATT STAFFORD

Gross.

AARON RODGERS

Ahh, the world is back as it should be. Jay Cutler is laid up with a case of infected ovaries, and my Packers are ON TOP OF THE NFC NORTH.

PHILIP RIVERS

How’s Jermichael Finley? That looked like a nasty hit he took yesterday.

AARON RODGERS

Who? Oh, whatever. I don’t need him. THE MIGHTY AARON RODGERS DOESN’T NEED ANYONE

AARON RODGERS

STICK A HELMET ON ANY 6’2 HAT RACK, AND I’LL GET IT 9 CATCHES FOR 146 YARDS AND A TD

JARRETT BOYKIN

Those are exactly the numbers I had yesterday.

AARON RODGERS

SEE?

BRANDON WEEDEN

You guys. I don’t feel good at all. I think something is definitely making me sick.

ANDY DALTON

Alzheimer’s?

BRANDON WEEDEN

No.

JOE FLACCO

Menopause?

BRANDON WEEDEN

Nope

PHILIP RIVERS

The knowledge that the Browns are 3-0 when Brian Hoyer starts, and 0-4 when you do?

BRANDON WEEDEN

There it is.

MATT RYAN

Well we still have the Giants-Vikings game tonight to look forward to.

RGIII

Should be great. Eli Manning and his Picks-lexia versus Josh Freeman and his raging case of Turnover Diarreah.

ARCHIE MANNING

DON’T REMIND ME OF MY OFFSPRINGS’ LOSING WAYS

ARCHIE MANNING

Isn’t it bad enough that now BOTH my NFL sons are bringing disgrace to my family?

PEYTON MANNING

I am still 6-1 Dad.

ARCHIE MANNING

You are 6-and-out-of-the-will.

OLIVER LUCK

HAHAHA. SUCK IT ARCHIE MANNING

PHILIP RIVERS

Oliver Luck? Former teammate to Archie Manning and father of Colts QB Andrew Luck?

OLIVER LUCK

Hey Archie? Remember when we were on the Oilers together back in ’82?

OLIVER LUCK

You forced me to be your personal SLAVE by driving your stupid brats back and forth to McDonald’s every day after practice?

OLIVER LUCK

WELL OLD OLLIE LUCK FINALLY HAS HIS REVENGE!

PHILIP RIVERS

Are you saying that, as payback for Archie Manning making you run his errands, you raised Andrew Luck to become an NFL QB just so that one day he could ruin Peyton Manning’s perfect season?

RYAN TANNEHILL

Talk about holding a grudge.

OLIVER LUCK

IT WAS THE PERFECT LONG CON, BITCHES.

OLIVER LUCK

Oh, and I also rubbed “Super Miracle Forehead Grow” cream on that punk’s head every chance I got.

OLIVER LUCK

NOW YOU KNOW HOW YOU GOT THAT ENORMOUS BONERSKULL, FRANKENHEAD!

DR. JAMES ANDREWS

Technically, the medical term for that is “Elephantitis of the Noggin”

DREW BREES

I HOPE YOU ACCIDENTALLY SIT ON A SCALPEL, ANDREWS!

ANDREW LUCK

SPHINCTERFUCKING DICKHOLECUNTS!

NFL QBs ON FACEBOOK: “THE INJURY REPORT”

88 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 8:09 am

    No Russell Wilson

  2. Nemo

    October 21, 2013 at 8:10 am

    I like tourettes andrew luck!

  3. bobman2

    October 21, 2013 at 8:14 am

    The best part about Ben R’s “explaining math” issue is that the math is wrong. dividing by zero does not equal zero. …Jeez, I hope that was intentional, PFM….

  4. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 8:15 am

    Dead

  5. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 8:16 am

    How is there no mention of Russell Wilson at all? They couldn’t fit in ONE more line. Otherwise very entertaining as usual, good to see Sam Bradford back!

  6. Brandon

    October 21, 2013 at 8:17 am

    LOL. Thank you. Now I can get back to my day with a smile!

  7. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 8:20 am

    you have an alex smith pic in a jay cutler blerb

  8. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 8:23 am

    Second week in a row you missed a picture. Jay Cutler with Alex Smiths photo… cmon guys! PROOF READ. Other than that, it was excellent!

  9. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 8:23 am

    I hated Tourettes Andrew Luck and any number divided by zero is “undefined” or “no real numbers” not zero

  10. Alex Giobbi

    October 21, 2013 at 8:25 am

    Where was Russell Wilson?

  11. Adam

    October 21, 2013 at 8:27 am

    Jay Cutlers first comment has Alex Smith’s pic

  12. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 8:27 am

    Death of Profootballmock Facebook Chats…these are getting retarded!

  13. Adam

    October 21, 2013 at 8:29 am

    Snuggles is BAD ASS!

  14. Adriana

    October 21, 2013 at 8:32 am

    Nothing wrong with last weeks PFM… I liked it!!! Lol

  15. yesjayme

    October 21, 2013 at 8:35 am

    Thanks for seeing the Andrew Luck/ratface resemblance! I know you guys were listening to us! LOL

  16. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 8:42 am

    Best one in a few weeks and the appearance of random bears was nice, but no Russell Wilson? Pffft!!

  17. offthelows

    October 21, 2013 at 8:45 am

    Usually Russell Wilson is only ignored in these updates where he only gets 1 line. TNF allowed #3 to be out of sight, out of mind when the east coast biased author constructed QB discussion.

  18. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 8:47 am

    Brilliant as always!

  19. IFHSS

    October 21, 2013 at 8:50 am

    You should apologize for this one not last weeks. This one was pretty bad…

  20. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 9:00 am

    Did you swap the Drew Brees and Ben Roethlisberger comment or was it supposed to be a ironic switch of character?

  21. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 9:05 am

    Still love these!

  22. kaiser

    October 21, 2013 at 9:16 am

    BECAUSE RUSSELL WILSON WAS NOT IN THE CONVO YOU SEE

  23. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 9:20 am

    Fuck all the rest drew is the best

  24. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 9:22 am

    This one is better than the others.

  25. burtonverbatim

    October 21, 2013 at 9:24 am

    Where’s the patented Russell Wilson trolling comment?? That’s usually the best part!

  26. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 9:30 am

    2 weeks in a row of miss. Fix This!! Snuggles made me crack a smile. Other than that I read this with a straight face of disappointment.

  27. Cracken

    October 21, 2013 at 9:39 am

    Where’s Russell Wilson’s comments? Lame!

  28. Jeff (@THEBULLFOREVER)

    October 21, 2013 at 9:53 am

    The Vick part made me burst out laughing. “rottweiler treatment” LMFAO

  29. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 10:04 am

    Line of the day was from Winnie the Pooh. HAHAHAH!!!!

  30. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 10:10 am

    No Russell Wilson! Your letting me down PFM.

  31. Bill Sanford

    October 21, 2013 at 10:16 am

    PROFOOTBALLMOCK – WE’RE SORRY FOR LAST WEEK’S CONVO IN GENERAL!

    The boys are back!! Great one this week!!

  32. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Where was Russell Wilson!? C’mon man!

  33. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 10:51 am

    Picture of Romo to help with vomiting had me dying. Needs more Russell Wilson though. And Bradford with his sister joke was hilarious

  34. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 10:59 am

    Thank goodness… no Russell Wilson.

  35. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 11:07 am

    where was russel wilson!!!??

  36. Ryan

    October 21, 2013 at 11:09 am

    where Russell. I did in enjoy the cutlers moms part made me lol in class.

  37. Chase Harrison

    October 21, 2013 at 11:09 am

    If a lot of you believe you can make better QBs on Facebook why not try your own instead of just hating on this one? Complaining fixes nothing!

  38. Anna Gary Smith

    October 21, 2013 at 11:20 am

    Please, we need more Oliver Luck appearances. Hahahaha!

  39. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 11:23 am

    Math is exactly wrong. Divide by zero = Infinity. Zero divided by any number = Zero.

  40. Nick Bacon Brady

    October 21, 2013 at 11:52 am

    super pissed that there was no wilson comment that sends rogers over the edge…clean that shit up, guys

  41. anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    Better than last week for sure. Like them best when as many as possible are involved. Loved the Pooh line.

  42. Kelli Rudden

    October 21, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    I had such high hopes for today guys…

  43. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    As was already stated, Wilson needs to be in there at least once a week. Also, more witty jokes and less random cursing for no reason would make this funnier. No need for every quarterback to say “eat a dick” just because…

  44. Dave Davies

    October 21, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    After watching Thursday’s game, is it not obvious Seahawk fans outnumber others five billion to two? You better some G’Damned Russell in these conversations. We’ve suffered through 25 years of no ESPN coverage, get us some more love. (The “Rodgers/Farve” comment was classic. Please keep up the great work)

  45. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 3:19 pm

    Hysterical!! Dumb Ben gets me every time.

  46. NinerFaithful

    October 21, 2013 at 3:29 pm

    Hey kaepernick should have talked to his old teammate Delanie walker and bragged how he kaepernicked in the endzone! But this was way better than last week’s convo more kaepernick in this one :) good

  47. Darin (@CityOfRain11)

    October 21, 2013 at 3:38 pm

    No Russell Wilson? You even had 2 extra days to think about it.

  48. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    Luck of Russell

  49. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 4:26 pm

    Tuck Rule reference was great.

  50. Geoff Houtman

    October 21, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    Oliver is my new favourite sporting dad..

  51. signats

    October 21, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    Any Cutler injury is a groin injury.

  52. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    Peyton and Eli should just go off on Archie for not having a winning season

  53. Nick

    October 21, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    You just had to add Archie Manning in there, didn’t you? Fuck I’m sick of seeing him appear in these convos. The lack of Russel Wilson made this one somewhat disappointing as well. I usually don’t care for Drew Brees, but I found him pretty funny this week. Especially when Dr. James Andrews was involved. The rotator cuff comment made me laugh. And you gotta love Big Ben as well.

  54. Audrey Slade

    October 21, 2013 at 6:16 pm

    Hey, don’t know if anyone noticed…but there didn’t appear to be any Russell Wilson.

    #themoreyouknow

  55. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    More Russell last name Wilson!

  56. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    Keep Tourette’s Andrew Luck! That shit was funny.

  57. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 10:05 pm

    Winnie the Pooh classic! Wakka wakka wakka!

  58. Josh

    October 21, 2013 at 10:50 pm

    Great convo, but Tourettes Luck and no Russell Wilson are both a no-go for me.

  59. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    Loving all the requests for more russell wilson. The 12th man is strong with this site.

  60. Katy

    October 21, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    Love the convo- and lovin Drew Brees! His roethesburger line made me cry of laughter, Great stuff guys!

  61. Kendall

    October 21, 2013 at 11:29 pm

    Yeah I also miss Wilson! Just love how he pisses aaron Rodgers. I always enjoy diva brady and I love Drew Brees he’s always entertaining to me because sometimes u don’t expect some stuff from him! Great week guys.

  62. Chris Neimeyer

    October 22, 2013 at 12:11 am

    I miss Christian ponder/plunder/plumbtree etc…. !!

  63. shinydan

    October 22, 2013 at 1:45 am

    Snuggles will fuck you up.

  64. #GoogleMyAss (@iLeonD)

    October 22, 2013 at 5:18 am

    Great.

  65. Celly C

    October 22, 2013 at 6:59 am

    No need to apologize for last week–actually thought it was funny. Most people who complain about the quality of these can barely spell “humor”, much less write with some, so just ignore them.

  66. Tommy A (@vtpack)

    October 22, 2013 at 7:53 am

    Yet again no mention of Mike Glennon, 4 weeks since being named the starter, and he has yet to show up

  67. toadofsteel

    October 22, 2013 at 8:04 am

    Too bad you made this before monday night… you could have had a field day with Archie having a knee-jerk reaction to Eli’s win…

  68. D

    October 22, 2013 at 8:14 am

    ALOT of Wilson fans here! Andrew Luck’s drooling of profanity is hilarious. I invite all you naysayers to write your own PFM and submit. Quit your F***ing bitching!

  69. Anonymous

    October 22, 2013 at 10:40 am

    Does everyone one of these need a gimmick now? First it was the NBC guys, then the Red Zone thing, now Dr. James Andrews. Can we get some clarity again?

  70. G

    October 22, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    RUSSEL WILSON

  71. Rory

    October 22, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    This was obviously written by a particularly stupid teenage boy ; nobody else would find much humor in gay slurs and a ton of cuss words for the sake of cussing.

  72. Anonymous

    October 22, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    The Humor is too “BLUE”…I miss the witty comebacks, the sly comments, and snarky verbal abuse. This cuss word every other word is a bore. Hope you go back to being “smart” with your convos….with “colorful” language sprinked in.

  73. Anonymous

    October 22, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    I don’t care what anyone says, these are still the highlight of my Mondays. Keep up the good work guys

  74. Kana

    October 22, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    Where is the “fuck you” button for the people saying this is “too blue” and written by a “particularly stupid teenage boy”. Also, I hope those people sit on scalpels.

  75. Anonymous

    October 22, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    I will miss the old Andrew Luck….

  76. Anonymous

    October 23, 2013 at 9:08 am

    You talked about matt stafford a lot but didn’t have him respond….I’d like to him in these more..

  77. Anonymous

    October 23, 2013 at 9:19 am

    Love the site and always look forward to QBonFB but as the father of son with Tourette syndrome I just have to chime in on this one. Coprolalia is involuntary swearing or the involuntary utterance of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks. Coprolalia comes from the Greek κόπρος (kopros) meaning “feces” and λαλιά (lalia) from lalein, “to talk”.[1] The term is often used as a clinomorphism, with ‘compulsive profanity’ inaccurately referred to as being Tourette syndrome.

  78. tucka

    October 23, 2013 at 12:07 pm

    I still like em. Lots of negative remarks but i appreciate the free comedy every Monday. Keep up the good work.

  79. Anonymous

    October 23, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    Mmmgph rrppgg brggghhh.

  80. Kathy Ross

    October 23, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    I see ANdrew Luck more as a caveman instead of a rat face. Matt Schaub is the rat face.

  81. Anonymous

    October 24, 2013 at 12:25 am

    When will Peyton and Eli unload on old man Archie for being a failure as an NFL QB?

  82. chuck

    October 24, 2013 at 1:09 am

    best one in a while! needed some russell wilson

  83. firstclasspack

    October 25, 2013 at 8:09 am

    It’s impossible to please everyone every week. You guys keep writing what you think is funny and don’t get upset about the folks that will always find something to criticize about this free website that tries to give us a laugh. It may not always be funny but I always appreciate the hard work you put into it. Thanks.

  84. Anonymous

    October 25, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    agree with first firstclasspack

  85. Jesse Elliott

    October 29, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    I think the last two comments were Andrew Luck.

  86. EC 49

    November 2, 2013 at 9:30 am

    Hey PFM…

    YOU so totally rock!

    Screw them whining “…..but where is Russell Wilson” babies. I bet all those whines were actually written by 2 people. Who just don’t get it. ..the sea chickens haven’t ever won anything. Respect is only earned in Jan & Feb!

  87. cheese

    November 30, 2013 at 10:55 am

    I don’t get why Archie is so hard on his sons for losing. He never won even a playoff game in his career! I’m really hoping that in one of these convos Peyton or Eli will point that out to him haha

  88. Anonymous

    April 6, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    I have tourettes syndrome and I was offended by that joke

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