NFL QBs ON FACEBOOK: “CHAMPIONSHIPS AND GIGGLES”

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Updated: January 19, 2015

CHAMPIONSHIPS AND GIGGLES

AARON RODGERS

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!

AARON RODGERS

How are all you fine gentlemen feeling on this wonderful January day?

DREW BREES

Rodgers… you, um, you okay?

AARON RODGERS

And why shouldn’t I be, Drew my friend? It’s a beautiful Sunday morning, the sun is shining brightly, and my Packers are going to DESTROY Russell Wilson and his Seahawks later today in the NFC Championship game.

ELI MANNING

Um…

JOE FLACCO

Aaron, that game was actually yest…

AARON RODGERS

Hey, you guys wanna hear about a crazy dream I had last night?

AARON RODGERS

It was the strangest thing. I dreamt that in our game:
• Wilson threw 4 interceptions
• We had a 16-0 lead at halftime
• I passed for 3 TDs with no picks
• We had a 12-point lead with less than four minutes left to play

AARON RODGERS

And yet, we still somehow lost after Seattle pulled off one of the most improbable comebacks in NFL playoff history.

AARON RODGERS

HEH HEH. WHAT A KOOKY NIGHTMARE, RIGHT?

TONY ROMO

Should… should we tell him?

JAY CUTLER

YES. I want to see if his head explodes.

AARON RODGERS

Tell me what?

RYAN TANNEHILL

It wasn’t a dream, Aaron.

ANDY DALTON

Russell Wilson did beat you with a miracle comeback, and now his Seahawks are going back to the Super Bowl.

AARON RODGERS

AARON RODGERS

AARON RODGERS

AARON RODGERS

You’re saying all that stuff actually happened?

DREW BREES

Yes. Except for the part about you throwing 3 touchdowns.

DREW BREES

You actually only had 1 TD with 2 picks.

AARON RODGERS

Oh. I see.

AARON RODGERS

(ahem)

AARON RODGERS

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

ALEX SMITH

See now,this is more the reaction I was expecting.

AARON RODGERS

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Sigh. This could take a while.

MATT RYAN

Wake me up when he’s done.

AARON RODGERS

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

PHILIP RIVERS

Any of you guys see “Girls” last night?

RGIII

TiVo’ed it. Hannah’s new hairstyle is really starting to grow on me.

AARON RODGERS

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

TONY ROMO

Oh good. I think he’s done.

AARON RODGERS

AARON RODGERS RAGE MODE ACTIVATED!!!!!!! AUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

AARON RODGERS

HOW IN THE MOTHERFUCKING NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY DID WE LOSE TO THOSE GODDAMN, MOTHERFUCKING, SON OF A BITCHING SEACHICKENS?!?!?!?!?!?!

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Wow, that game has to be the second greatest comeback of all time.

ELI MANNING

With the first one being?

COLIN KAEPERNICK

When Cutler's mom returns a month’s worth of my jizz to me in a diamond encrusted Tupperware bowl.

SAM BRADFORD

Oh hey, if you throw that in a pot with some potatoes and a chicken bone, it makes a great broth.

AARON RODGERS

IT’S NOT FAIR. IT’S JUST NOT FUCKING FAIR!

AARON RODGERS

I WAS THIIIIIIS CLOSE TO FINALLY GETTING MY REVENGE AGAINST… HIM.

CARSON PALMER

"Him?" Him who?

ANDY DALTON

Brett Favre?

RYAN TANNEHILL

Ndamukong Suh?

JAY CUTLER

The guy who stood you up at your high school senior prom?

AARON RODGERS

YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL I MEAN THAT LITTLE SEA-IMP RUSSELL WILSON.

AARON RODGERS

And now he’s just waiting… WAITING to pounce on me with one of his smarmy little three-word troll comments.

MATT RYAN

Three words? Naw, for a game that epic, I’ll bet he would need at least five words.

ALEX SMITH

After that comeback? I say he needs ten words, minimum.

JOE FLACCO

Guys, it was one of the greatest games of all time. He’s gonna need forty or fifty words to really do it justice.

JAY CUTLER

And until Wilson shows up, Rodgers is just gonna keep whining and moaning like the little bitch he is, I assume?

AARON RODGERS

WHAT WAS THAT? I DIDN’T CATCH THAT?

CAM NEWTON

Ooh, ooh. “Things Brandon Bostick says when trying to grab an onside kick?”

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE HE DESTROYED THE CHAMPIONSHIP DREAM OF THE ENTIRE PACKERS ORGANIZATION.

AARON RODGERS

GODDAMN IT BOSTICK, YOU PISS FLAPPED GASH OF A MAN!

AARON RODGERS

YOU LOST THIS GAME FOR US! HOW COULD YOU NOT CATCH THAT FUCKING BALL?

BRANDON BOSTICK

I’m sorry. Coach told me my job on that play was to block.

BRANDON BOSTICK

I assumed he meant that I should block the ball. Towards some Seattle players. Was that not correct?

AARON RODGERS

IF I EVER SEE YOU ON SPECIAL TEAMS AGAIN BOSTICK, I WILL SLICE YOU OPEN LIKE A TAUNTAUN!

HAN SOLO likes this

ALEX SMITH

Heh. “Brandon Bostick?” More like “Brandon No-Stick.”

TONY ROMO

Here’s a list of people with better hands than Brandon Bostick:
- Captain Hook
- Jaime Lannister
- Buster Bluth
- That guy from “127 Hours”
- Edward Scissorhands

BRANDON BOSTICK

I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY OKAY? WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT UP?

DREW BREES

Bostick, your best chance at redeeming yourself from that game is Superman flying around Earth to reverse time.

SUPERMAN

Fuck that. I won fifty bucks on Seattle.

MIKE McCARTHY

DAMMIT, BOSTICK! YOU COULDN’T CATCH AN STD IN SAM BRADFORD’S UNDERWEAR DRAWER!

AARON RODGERS

YOU’RE NOT OFF THE HOOK EITHER MIKE McCARTHY, YOU INFECTED TOOTH OF A MAN!

AARON RODGERS

It was your chickenshit play calling that burned us BIG TIME yesterday.

AARON RODGERS

You wussed out of going for it on not one, but TWO fourth-and-half-the-length-of-my-cock plays. YOUR COWARDICE COST US THAT GAME JUST AS MUCH AS ANYTHING ELSE DID.

AARON RODGERS

YOU ARE SUCH A GODDAMNED VAGINA, THAT EVEN YOUR VAGINA HAS A VAGINA, McCARTHY!

MIKE McCARTHY

I COULDN’T HELP IT. Going for it on fourth down is super-risky!

MIKE McCARTHY

My philosophy is to avoid risks like they were salads and/or cardiovascular exercise.

AARON RODGERS

McCARTHY, I WILL MUTILATE YOU WITH A RUSTY CHAINSAW, THEN BURY YOUR BONES AT THE 1 YARD LINE!

RYAN TANNEHILL

Well at least you'll die the way you lived Coach McCarthy. Just three feet short of the end zone.

TOM BRADY

LOSER INTERRUPTUS TIME.

TOM BRADY

Enough about Rodgers’ epic Discount Double Choke. Let’s talk about how TOM BRADY CASTRATED THE COLTS 45-7! HAHAHAHA!

ANDREW LUCK

Congratulation Mr. Brady. (sniff)

ANDREW LUCK

I admit that I wanted that victory more than anything else in the whole world. For my teammates, my coaches, and for the entire city of Indianapolis. (sniff)

ANDREW LUCK

But you were the better quarterback, and you earned that win with your truly brilliant play.

TOM BRADY

“Good?” Luck, I wasn’t just good. I was BRILLIANT yesterday.

ANDREW LUCK

But that's what I just said…

TOM BRADY

GODDAMMIT LUCK, QUIT BEING A BAD SPORT AND JUST ADMIT THAT I PLAYED BRILLIANTLY YESTERDAY.

ANDREW LUCK

Of course sir. You were brilliant. I’m sorry for ever implying otherwise. (sniff)

TONY ROMO

Are.. are you crying, Luck?

ANDREW LUCK

(sniff) I… I just feel sad that I might have let some of my fans and teammates down.

JOE FLACCO

“Some?” Oh no, Luck. You’re a horrible disappointment to ALL your fans and teammates.

ANDREW LUCK

AW, FIDDLESTICKS! I FEEL LIKE SUCH A GOSH-DARN FAILURE!

ALEX SMITH

Whoa, whoa Luck, easy on the language there. You kiss Peyton Manning’s ass with that mouth?

TOM BRADY

Well, I do have to give you credit, Luck. Your plan to take the crowd out of the game by getting blown out right from the opening kickoff worked just like you drew it up. HAHAHAHA.

TOM BRADY

I, on the other hand, was smoother than Jimmy Garoppolo’s prepubescent nutsack.

TOM BRADY

226 YARDS. THREE TOUCHDOWNS! EVEN WHILE GETTING DRENCHED IN THE SECOND HALF!

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Yeah, that sure was a major rainstorm in New England yesterday.

RGIII

Those guys looked wetter than Cutler’s Mom on bukakke night at a junior college frat party.

TOM BRADY

Oh no, that wasn’t rain. I was just so fucking awesome, I had every woman in the stands SPLOOSHING from the third quarter on. LOLOLOL.

TOM BRADY

But you know, I should congratulate you too Luck.

TOM BRADY

You’ve been humiliated by me twice this season, gotten crushed in the playoffs, and let a statistically dominant season end in total failure.

TOM BRADY

So it looks like you’ve truly proven yourself worthy to be called Peyton Manning 2.0 with the Colts. HAHAHAHA.

PEYTON MANNING

GET FUCKED, BRADY.

PEYTON MANNING

YOU ONLY WON THAT GAME BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR CHEATING SHITHEAD SQUADRON OF A TEAM LET THE AIR OUT OF A BUNCH OF FOOTBALLS TO MAKE THEM EASIER TO THROW IN THE RAIN!

MATT RYAN

Whoa, seriously?

CARSON PALMER

Yep. Apparently the Patriots were secretly playing with deflated balls yesterday.

RYAN TANNEHILL

Kind of like how Mike McCarthy was coaching with deflated balls?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

BECAUSE OF HIS COWARDLY PLAYCALLS, YOU SEE.

PEYTON MANNING

FIRST IT WAS “SPYGATE,” NOW IT’S “DEFLATE-GATE.”

PEYTON MANNING

What next, Brady? Is your crooked coach just going to demand playoff victories at gunpoint?

ANDY DALTON

Wait, can we do that?

ANDY DALTON

(immediately buys ski-mask and 12 gauge shotgun.)

TOM BRADY

QUIT WHINING MANNING, YOU WART COCKED DONKEY FELCHER. We didn’t need to cheat to win that game.

TOM BRADY

The only reason those balls were a little low on air is because of how hard we kept SPIKING THEM AFTER ALL OUR TOUCHDOWNS.

ROB GRONKOWSKI

GRONK GONNA GRONK.

REX RYAN

Well seeing the stupid Patriots win that game certainly deflated my balls.

MARK SANCHEZ

Hey, Coach Ryan. Congrats on getting the Buffalo gig.

TONY ROMO

Rex Ryan and the Bills? Seems like quite an interesting combination.

RYAN TANNEHILL

Pffft. I gave that thing about two weeks before it explodes.

CAM NEWTON

Ooh, ooh: “Things Andy Reid’s heart doctor says during a routine physical?”

TOM BRADY

Oh, and hey, did everyone hear that I now HAVE THE MOST PASSING YARDS IN NFL POSTSEASON HISTORY?! WHOOOOOO!

TOM BRADY

Man, I am so hot right now, a couple of Hobbits just came around and tried to throw a ring into me.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

HE’S COMPARING HIMSELF TO J.R.R TOLKIEN’S MYTHICAL VOLCANIC LAND OF WESTEROS.

DREW BREES

“Mordor,” Ben.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

THANKS DREW BREES. MORE DOOR TO YOU TOO.

JOE FLACCO

Roethlisberger, you have the IQ of an empty Gatorade bucket

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

HEY, I ONLY KNOW THREE THINGS: TOUCHDOWNS AND MATH.

ANDREW LUCK

(sniff) I… I’m just so miserable that our season came to such a crushing end yesterday.

ELI MANNING

Oh, quit feeling sorry for yourself Luck.

JAY CUTLER

Yeah. Obviously, the reason you lost is because you probably menstruated all over your team’s game plan.

ANDREW LUCK

No sir, I don’t feel sorry for myself. I just wish that I didn’t let my teammates down. Those guys are like family to me, and disappointing them is the worst feeling in the world.

TOM BRADY

DON’T TRY TO OUT “TEAM-PLAYER” ME, LUCK. I’M EVERY BIT AS MUCH OF A TEAM PLAYER AS YOU ARE.

ALEX SMITH

Oh yeah? Well if you’re such a team player, then tell me the names of just one of your offensive linemen.

TOM BRADY

Hmmm… I want to say, “Steve?”

LeGARRETTE BLOUNT

BLUNT FORCE, MOTHERFUCKERS

PHILIP RIVERS

LeGarrette Blunt? Patriots RB and weed aficionado whose 148 rushng yards and 3 TDs spearheaded New England’s “Puff-Puff-Pass” offense yesterday?

RGIII

148 yards? Jeez, how many Colts defenders does it take to tackle that guy anyway?

MATT RYAN

More than 11, apparently.

LeGARRETTE BLOUNT

BLUNT FORCE EXCITED TO CRUSH PUNY SEAHAWKS IN BOWL OF SUPER. CAN’T WAIT TO SHOW WORLD WHO BEST RUNNING BACK IN NFL TRULY IS

MARSHAWN LYNCH

BEAST MODE MOTHERFUCKERS.

MARSHAWN LYNCH

BEAST MODE LAUGH AT NOTION OF LEG CARROT BLUNT AS PRETENDER TO NFL RUSHING THRONE.

MARSHAWN LYNCH

BEAST MODE KNOW THAT ONLY BEAST MODE IS ONE TRUE UNSTOPPABLE FORCE IN NFL.

LeGARRETTE BLOUNT

BLUNT FORCE EVERY BIT AS UNSTOPPABLE AS BEAST MODE, AS LONG AS COACH BELLY CHECK CONTINUES TO FEED ME THE BALL.

LeGARRETTE BLOUNT

I KNOW I CAN GET THROUGH THAT HOLE IF YOU JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE.

CAM NEWTON

Ooh, ooh: “Things Tom Brady says when he’s trying to talk Giselle into anal?”

COLIN KAEPERNICK

You’re really laying your “game show shtick” on heavy today, Newton.

CAM NEWTON

I’m practicing. After football, becoming a game show host is my #2 fallback career choice.

TONY ROMO

What’s #1?

CAM NEWTON

Driving instructor.

TOM BRADY

Oh, that reminds me Luck. You’ll need to chauffeur your little honeypot of a girlfriend over to my place for a celebratory humpfest tonight.

ANDREW LUCK

Of course, Mr. Brady. Should I have her bring wine, or a nice dessert maybe?

DREW BREES

You're okay with Brady having sex with your girlfriend, Luck?

ANDREW LUCK

Oh no Mr. Brees. Far from it.

ANDREW LUCK

In fact, just thought of my beloved Nicole surrounding herself to the wanton desires of Mr. Brady is causing what’s left of my aching soul to wither and die.

ANDREW LUCK

But I do understand that this is Mr. Brady’s customary method of celebrating his victories, and I certainly don't want to be rude and break tradition.

TOM BRADY

Well shit, Luck. The way you're being so cooperative about this is kind of taking the fun out of me nailing your girl.

TOM BRADY

Don’t get me wrong; I’m still going to bang the crap out of her. But I’m going to like it just a little bit less now. THANKS A LOT, ASSHOLE.

ANDREW LUCK

I’m so sorry for spoiling your good time, sir.

TOM BRADY

Whatever, Just make sure she shaves her junk before she comes over.

TOM BRADY

If I wanted to stick my dick into a vagina covered with scraggly, overgrown pubic hair, I'd make you give me a blowjob.

TOM BRADY

And now it’s ON TO SUPER BOWL XLIX! THE MIGHTY NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS VERSUS RUSSELL WILSON AND HIS SEATTLE FISH PIGEONS, WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!

TOM BRADY

Hey Seahawks, here’s to a good clean loss by you guys. HAHAHA.

RICHARD SHERMAN

LEGION OF BOOM, BITCHES.

RICHARD SHERMAN

Get ready Tom Brady, you custard-armed trouser gerbil, because at the Super Bowl, our L.O.B. is gonna swipe enough turnovers from you to START A FUCKING BAKERY.

TOM BRADY

SHERMAN, WITH THAT HOBBLED ARM OF YOURS, YOU COULDN'T STEAL A GRAPE FROM THE PRODUCE SECTION AT THE GROCERY STORE.

RICHARD SHERMAN

I’M HEALTHY ENOUGH TO EXPOSE YOU FOR THE INFECTED VAGINAL LINING OF A QB YOU ARE.

TOM BRADY

Hey Sherman, here’s an idea: your team should just print up a shitload of “Super Bowl Champion” shirts right now, and send them directly to Africa to avoid the rush after we beat you 55-3.

RICHARD SHERMAN

Yeah, ha-ha. Go ahead and get all this trash talking out of your system now, Brady.

RICHARD SHERMAN

Because after the Super Bowl, the only things that are gonna be coming out of your mouth are my dick, and “thank you.”

TOM BRADY

WRONG, YOU SLIMY TAINTWAFFLE. Because by the 2nd quarter, I’ll have you and your team of sopping wet vaginas crying like a bunch of Jets fans!

AARON RODGERS

WE’RE LOSING TRACK OF THE BIG PICTURE HERE, DICKNUGGETS.

AARON RODGERS

I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that my Packers loss is the WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF EVER!

AARON RODGERS

I’m still SO PISSED. Now I’m going to have to shower 6 or 7 times to rinse off all my teammates’ failures from yesterday.

PEYTON MANNING

Rodgers, all the soap in the world won’t wash the stink of that loss away from your bloated flesh for a long, long time.

AARON RODGERS

I have NEVER been so furious! If my blood pressure gets much higher, I'm going to FUCKING EXPLODE.

AARON RODGERS

THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED IF WE HAD A REAL OWNER TO GET US A REAL COACH AND A REAL SPECIAL TEAMS UNIT.

AARON RODGERS

Instead we’re stuck working for a few thousand slack-jawed, stock-owning small town bumpkins who wouldn’t know a smart football decision if it kicked them in their sloshy cheese guts.

DREW BREES

Oh come on. You don’t really believe that myth about the Packers being a publicly owned team, do you?

COLIN KAEPERNICK

Nah. I wouldn’t trust Wisconsin residents to use non-plastic forks and knives, much less own a professional sporting franchise.

MATT RYAN

So if it’s not them, then who really does own the Green Bay Packers?

RUSSELL WILSON

I do.

AARON RODGERS

WILSON, I WILL… I WILL…. ARRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AARON RODGERS



JOE FLACCO

Well, what do you know? He did it in under three words.

NFL QBs ON FACEBOOK: “CHAMPIONSHIPS AND GIGGLES”

Leave a Reply

12 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    January 20, 2015 at 10:10 pm

    Blount force only exists against the Colts and thats a fact. Last year after burning the colts in the playoffs he was a non factor in the AFC Championship game between the Broncos and Patriots. And I expect the same in the Superbowl. He will be shut down by the Seahawks defense.

  2. inyourdreams

    January 20, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Hobbit line was my favorite comment! Will definitely be using that one! Lol

  3. Jazzmar Clax

    January 19, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    ALEX SMITH
    Oh yeah? Well if you’re such a team player, then tell me the names of just one of your offensive linemen.

    TOM BRADY
    Hmmm… I want to say, “Steve?”

    LMAO. it’s true, everyone wants to give the QB credit when there are dozens of other players that contributed to the win. I find it funny how Wilson and also Luck keep saying they’re glad to be A PART OF IT as if they aren’t the quarterback and team captain

  4. PFM Comments

    January 19, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    That was the greatest comeback in the biggest game I’ve seen, the greatest playoff game in my lifetime. I don’t think any SB has topped it either, but that’s the only stage that could possibly be bigger.

    And I didn’t feel it was complete until the very end of this convo.

  5. PFMFan21

    January 19, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    Was definitely looking forward to the Russell Wilson troll today. Didn’t disappoint.

  6. AnonyMOOSE

    January 19, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    That was pretty good, but I saw the Wilson troll coming from a mile away. Looking forward to next week, rumor has it that there could be an Alternate Universe QB Convo.

  7. Typical Seahawk Fan

    January 19, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    All I have to say is God is good. When everyone started to doubt us I still believed. When I burned my Russell Wilson jersey after his 3rd pick, I still believed. When I was ready to burn my #12 jersey, I still believed . When I saw a guy wearing a Shaun Alexander and I asked him where I could get my name on a jersey and he glared at me, I still believed. I’m so humbled by this game that I can’t even trash talk properly. It’s a shame I have to wait two weeks now to see my humble Seahawks beat a team that can’t win out unless they cheat but I will. Because my unquestionable faith and devotion keeps me going.

    #wewillrepeat
    #markmywords

    • Typical Patriots Fan

      January 19, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      Yea, you’re a real fan alright. You just proved that the #12 is also to tell every other fan in the NFL what year you Seahawks fans started to care about their team. You’re a moron if you think you have any chance of beating the Pats. Did you not witness the epic beatdown we unleashed on the Colts? While the Packers took their foot off your throats and choked that game away. You barely won. And you’re an even bigger moron if you think we can’t win without cheating. That Colts reporter is full of crap and so are haters like you. You Mark My Words, You will NOT repeat because we will demolish you in Arizona. You should worry about your team. Russell Wilson threw 4 INT’s, Earl Thomas and loudmouth Richard Sherman won’t be 100%, and the Pats will take advantage of that. And Lynch is the only reason you’re even in this game. We’re not the Denver Broncos buddy. GO PATS! #youwillNOTrepeat #youmarkmywords

      • Typical Trolling Fan

        January 19, 2015 at 4:42 pm

        How about you both put your dicks away, quit the trash talking, sit down, shut up, and save the gloating for AFTER your team wins?
        #WhoGivesAShitWhoWins #MarkTHOSEWords

      • Typical Seahawk Fan

        January 19, 2015 at 11:05 pm

        Bring it on! We’ll take your team no matter how many spy cameras you put on us or deflated balls you throw our way. And when it’s over my man Sherman will troll your whiny QB like he did the last time we beat you.

        #wewillmakebradycryharderthanelimanningdid

    • Jazzmar Clax

      January 19, 2015 at 6:18 pm

      I suppose you were also there from the beginning?

  8. ACW

    January 19, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    FINALLY.
    My favorite line: ANDY DALTON (immediately buys ski-mask and 12 gauge shotgun.)
    You could make Wilson say just one word: Me.

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