Eli Manning Now Has 5th Highest Selling Jersey In Manning Household

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Updated: October 7, 2013

Despite being mired in the worst season of his nine year career, Giants QB Eli Manning currently has the 5th highest selling jersey in the Manning household according to sales figures made available today from the official NFL merchandise store.

ELI MANNING JERSEY 4th HIGHEST

 

“I bought a $29.99 Eli jersey just the other day,”  said Olivia Manning, matriarch of the Manning clan. “I decided to do some early Christmas shopping , and went online to buy a children’s size Drew Brees jersey for (grandson) Connor. I also bought a Robert Griffin III jersey for (Eli’s wife) Abby, because she just looks so good in burgundy. And I purchased a throwback Peyton Manning jersey for (Eli’s eldest daughter) Ava, since that’s her favorite player. And just before I checked out, I saw a listing for Eli Manning jerseys in their clearance section. So I figured what the heck?  I bought one for (family dog) Pey-Pey.”

 

According to NFL sales merchandise figures, official Eli Manning jerseys currently rank behind only Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Robert Griffin III, and Philip Rivers in the Manning household.

 

“Yeah for a goof, I bought both a Rivers and an Eli jersey last week,” said oldest Manning brother Cooper. “Then at our family dinner, right in front of everyone, I gave the Eli jersey to my dad, and he looked pretty disappointed. Then I asked if he wanted to trade it for a brand new Philip Rivers jersey, and he was all, ‘Hell yeah.’  Oh man, Eli’s face was priceless.”

15 Comments

  1. Steve

    October 7, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    nice one!

  2. cl_kyle

    October 7, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    Cooper’s such a prankster.

  3. AnonS

    October 7, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    But Archie hates San Diego, and got Eli traded from there. Why would he want a Chargers jersey?

    And for that matter, if these jerseys really were discounted, people would grab them up quickly. Eli’s an elite player and everyone knows that. He has more SB rings than Peyton.

  4. Anonymous

    October 7, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    @AnonS

    The joke
    ———–
    Your head

    It’s like you don’t even know that this article is a joke. I mean, who could be that clueless? RIGHT??

  5. Tony Brown

    October 7, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    AnonS

    you’re a retard

  6. anonymousd

    October 7, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    AnonS, is secretly eli manning venting his frustration for sucking so bad.

  7. Seth

    October 7, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    ^lol

  8. West

    October 7, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    I thought they were going the route of Peyton, Cooper, Archie, and Olivia Manning jerseys all selling better than Eli Manning jerseys. The trade joke was pretty good though.

  9. prid

    October 7, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    ^ me too!

  10. Sam

    October 8, 2013 at 2:20 am

    @West

    Yeah, that’s where I thought this was going too.

  11. B-ROETH

    October 8, 2013 at 2:21 am

    In keeping with one of this site’s best running bits, I’d like to throw something in on behalf of Roethlisberger and say:

    “IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE THERE ARE ONLY FIVE JERSEYS TO PICK FROM, YOU SEE”

  12. Anonymous

    October 8, 2013 at 5:11 am

    the funniest part was they bought it for the dog “pey-pey”

  13. Mich

    October 10, 2013 at 8:28 am

    When I first read the headline I thought it meant Eli’s jersey was ranked behind Peyton’s Archie’s, Cooper’s, and Olivia’s own jersey sales. Which also seems plausible.

  14. Anonymous

    October 12, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    B-Roeth
    Funny

  15. Anonymous

    October 15, 2013 at 11:23 am

    Lmao

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