Eli Manning Now Has 5th Highest Selling Jersey In Manning Household

Updated: October 7, 2013

Despite being mired in the worst season of his nine year career, Giants QB Eli Manning currently has the 5th highest selling jersey in the Manning household according to sales figures made available today from the official NFL merchandise store.



“I bought a $29.99 Eli jersey just the other day,”  said Olivia Manning, matriarch of the Manning clan. “I decided to do some early Christmas shopping , and went online to buy a children’s size Drew Brees jersey for (grandson) Connor. I also bought a Robert Griffin III jersey for (Eli’s wife) Abby, because she just looks so good in burgundy. And I purchased a throwback Peyton Manning jersey for (Eli’s eldest daughter) Ava, since that’s her favorite player. And just before I checked out, I saw a listing for Eli Manning jerseys in their clearance section. So I figured what the heck?  I bought one for (family dog) Pey-Pey.”


According to NFL sales merchandise figures, official Eli Manning jerseys currently rank behind only Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Robert Griffin III, and Philip Rivers in the Manning household.


“Yeah for a goof, I bought both a Rivers and an Eli jersey last week,” said oldest Manning brother Cooper. “Then at our family dinner, right in front of everyone, I gave the Eli jersey to my dad, and he looked pretty disappointed. Then I asked if he wanted to trade it for a brand new Philip Rivers jersey, and he was all, ‘Hell yeah.’  Oh man, Eli’s face was priceless.”

Leave a Reply


  1. Anonymous

    April 22, 2014 at 9:14 am

    Ava’s favorite player is Uncle Peyton. Now that’s funny right thur…

  2. Anonymous

    October 15, 2013 at 11:23 am


  3. Anonymous

    October 12, 2013 at 5:49 pm


  4. Mich

    October 10, 2013 at 8:28 am

    When I first read the headline I thought it meant Eli’s jersey was ranked behind Peyton’s Archie’s, Cooper’s, and Olivia’s own jersey sales. Which also seems plausible.

  5. Anonymous

    October 8, 2013 at 5:11 am

    the funniest part was they bought it for the dog “pey-pey”

  6. B-ROETH

    October 8, 2013 at 2:21 am

    In keeping with one of this site’s best running bits, I’d like to throw something in on behalf of Roethlisberger and say:


  7. Sam

    October 8, 2013 at 2:20 am


    Yeah, that’s where I thought this was going too.

  8. prid

    October 7, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    ^ me too!

  9. West

    October 7, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    I thought they were going the route of Peyton, Cooper, Archie, and Olivia Manning jerseys all selling better than Eli Manning jerseys. The trade joke was pretty good though.

  10. Seth

    October 7, 2013 at 8:09 pm


  11. anonymousd

    October 7, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    AnonS, is secretly eli manning venting his frustration for sucking so bad.

  12. Tony Brown

    October 7, 2013 at 5:02 pm


    you’re a retard

  13. Anonymous

    October 7, 2013 at 3:39 pm


    The joke
    Your head

    It’s like you don’t even know that this article is a joke. I mean, who could be that clueless? RIGHT??

  14. AnonS

    October 7, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    But Archie hates San Diego, and got Eli traded from there. Why would he want a Chargers jersey?

    And for that matter, if these jerseys really were discounted, people would grab them up quickly. Eli’s an elite player and everyone knows that. He has more SB rings than Peyton.

  15. cl_kyle

    October 7, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    Cooper’s such a prankster.

  16. Steve

    October 7, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    nice one!

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