Doctors Fear Roethlisberger’s Injury May Force Him To Hang Out With Them More In Training Room

Updated: November 13, 2012

Pittsburgh Steelers team doctors are concerned that the shoulder injury suffered by quarterback Ben Rothlisberger during Monday night’s game against the Chiefs may cause him to start spending significant time hanging out with them in the team’s medical facility, it was reported Tuesday.

“Hey, you guys wanna hear me sing some AC/DC? ‘She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean…’ hey, where you going?”


“We’re not sure exactly what type of injury Ben has at this time,” said Dr. James Bradley, a member of the team’s medical staff. “It could be a simple sprain, a basic first degree separation, or even a severe third degree separation. The fear of course is that the more serious the injury the more (Roethlisberger) will be in here with us, just ‘chillaxing’ as he calls it.”


“Look Ben’s a nice guy and all,” seconded Dr. Joseph Maroon. “But he definitely not someone any of us want to spend too much time around. He just keeps talking about all his favorite Nickelback songs, or which one of the Bengals cheerleaders has the biggest boobs. Sometimes he insists on using his smart phone to show us some funny cat picture he saw on the internet. He’s just tedious company.”


Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin has officially labeled Roethlisberger as doubtful for Sunday’s game against the division rival Ravens.


“We’re going to wait for the results of Ben’s test to come back before making any decision about his status for the rest of the season,” Tomlin told reporters. “And in the meantime, we sort of get to enjoy a few Ben-free practices. No one insisting on playing air guitar in the huddles, yelling “whoomp, there it is,” after every five yard completion, or giving the running backs wedgies when we’re trying to rehearse our two-minute offense.”


Concluded Tomlin,” Ben’s our leader and all, so we hope to get him back at some point, But, for the time being, the medical staff can deal with him for a while, as far as I’m concerned.”

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